Godless sex

The lucky people near George Washington University get to learn all about godless sex on 16 September.

Fred Edwords

“The Joy of Godless Sex”

7:00 PM – 9:00 PM
The George Washington University
Marvin Center Amphitheater

When it comes to sexuality, two sizes don’t fit all. Nor does one institution. That’s why a nontheistic, humanist approach recognizes sexual diversity, individuality, freedom, and responsibility. And that’s why humanists continue to work for an end to needless guilt and repression and actively call for a broadening of human possibilities and pleasures.

Hosted by SKEPTIC (Science and Knowledge Empowering People to Intelligently Choose), an affiliate of the Secular Student Alliance.

Hang on there…this is a trick. All sex is godless, peculiar Catholic prayer books notwithstanding. It’s just that we can be far more inventive without an imaginary phantasm hanging over our shoulders.

For example, behold: the four-headed spiny anteater penis. The universe is a far weirder place than the godly can imagine.

Molly Time…and Crunch Time

The new Molly winner for the month of July has been determined: give ‘Tis Himself hearty congratulations and many backslaps. Now we need to figure out who the hot commenter for the month of August was — leave your suggestions in the comments.

Now some terrifying news: I’m supposed to talk with a publisher next week, which of course has me staring fixedly at text and seeing all the huge and awful flaws in it. I’m going to be frantically polishing all weekend, so you may not see much of me for a while.

I’m thinking if I go through everything carefully and dot all my ‘i’s with smiley faces*, and put it all in a shiny clear plastic cover, it’ll look much more impressive.

*Wait…would dotting them with hearts be better? Oh, decisions, decisions.

Megadittoes!

This is the start of a big film project by Conceptual Guerilla: he’s attending events by acolytes of Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck, teabagging (just the name is good for a giggle) parties and such, and simply recording their own words. It’s a weird combination of certainty and ignorance, and as you’ll see, these are ordinary people, Americans just like your neighbors and co-workers, and they’re nuts.

Formally, I suppose this is going to be a documentary, but the effect is somewhere between a bad comedy movie and a psychological horror film.

I fear I shall be stepping into a den of vipers

I’m going to be on the radio tonight, at 10pm Central time, on a program radiating out of Missouri State University called the All-American Gun Show. The host is JT Eberhard, a dangerous rascal, and I think he’s planning to harrass me fiercely. Here’s the blurb for the show:

PZ Myers, biology professor at the University of Minnesota Morris and the author of the science blog Pharyngula. Myers is known for his criticism of creationism and religion, including an appearance at Skepticon I on the Missouri State campus last October and a return to the campus this November for Skepticon II.

      The notorious Dr. Myers, a liberal by admission, is famous for his atheist shennanigans that include throwing crackers in the trash. We plan to pin this kingpin of the secular mafia down with fine-tuning arguments and universally accepted facts of science like the absence of any transitional fossils in the fossil record. Pwnd.

Tune in if you’d like to hear me raked over the coals.

My evil plan worked. They thought they were drawing me into a trap, but I knew that all I had to do was link to them and my henchpersons would bring their servers to their knees. Mission accomplished.

They were recording, and said the interview will be up on their website in a few hours…at which time you will all crash that! Bwahahahahahaha!

Working towards the perfect pointless poll

This is how to design an online poll to stymie the Pharyngulistas: make sure it makes no sense and limits the options to only unpalatable choices. Go ahead and try and figure this one out…although it does say it is for creationists, and it is for Christians only.

Why Creationist is your favorite?

15% (3) Kent Hovind
5% (1) Ken Ham
36% (7) Both
42% (8) Neither… someone else

“Why creationist,” indeed.

“The mantle is far, far greater than the intellect; the priesthood is the guiding power.”

I got email from a young former Mormon who has been trying to puzzle his way through some of the craziness that comes out of Utah, and he sent me this strange document by Elder Boyd K. Packer, which is apparently representative of a lot of Mormon scholarship. I think he wants to know if I think it is as bat-rogerin’ insane as he does.

Yes. Yes it is.

Basically, it’s the Mormon version of the Courtier’s Reply. It goes on and on about how the only way to write a true history of the Mormon church is to fully accept all of its superstitions. It’s blatant and explicit.

Do you believe that God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ personally appeared to the boy prophet, Joseph Smith, Jr., in the year 1820?

Do you have personal witness that the Father and the Son appeared in
all their glory and stood above that young man and instructed him according to the testimony that he gave to the world in his published history?
Do you know that the Prophet Joseph Smith’s testimony is true because
you have received a spiritual witness of its truth?

Do you believe that the church that was restored through him is, in the
Lord’s words, “the only true and living church upon the face of the whole
earth, with which I, the Lord, am well pleased” (D&C 1:30)? Do you know
by the Holy Ghost that this is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints restored by heavenly messengers in this modern era; that the Church
constitutes the kingdom of God on earth, not just an institution fabricated
by human agency?

Do you believe that the successors to the Prophet Joseph Smith were
and are prophets, seers, and revelators; that revelation from heaven directs
the decisions, policies, and pronouncements that come from the headquarters of the Church? Have you come to the settled conviction, by the
Spirit, that these prophets truly represent the Lord?

Now, you obviously noted that I did not talk about academic qualifications. Facts, understanding, and scholarship can be attained by personal
study and essential course work. The three qualifications I have named
come by the Spirit, to the individual. You can’t receive them by secular
training or study, by academic inquiry or scientific investigation.

I repeat: if there is a deficiency in any of these, then, regardless of what
other training an individual possesses, he cannot comprehend and write or
teach the true history of this church. The things of God are understood
only by one who possesses the Spirit of God.

I don’t believe any of that nonsense. I guess I can’t criticize the Mormon church ever, any more. Isn’t that handy? The only people who can comment on the church are those who have fully accepted all of its fundamental premises.

That Catch-22. It’s the best catch there ever was.

Future prospects for commenting

Seed is planning to roll out some big upgrades to the commenting system here, and they’re going to potentially add a lot of new features, which is cool. They also want to know what you think, but they’ve chosen to get user input in a way I find rather uncomfortable. They’re doing it with an online poll.

Oh, no. Hoist by my own petard.

You better go vote, before the Rapture-lovin’ fundagelicals move in and voice their opinions, and we end up with every comment ending in a honkin’ big sig with huge-eyed puppy dogs and pink script with sparkly graphic effects.

Why are Texans so unpatriotic?

President Obama is going to deliver a speech to students, broadcast on CSPAN, on 8 September. He’s going to “speak directly to the nation’s children and youth about persisting and succeeding in school. The president will challenge students to work hard, set educational goals, and take responsibility for their learning”. OK, sounds harmless enough, and I think it’s a good idea for our president to care about the students.

But not in Texas, apparently. There’s a poll on a College Station radio site that has some odd results.

What are your feelings about the President addressing school children in a speech on September 8th?

I have no problem – 40.6%
Depends on the topic – 17.5%
Wouldn’t let my children see it – 42.0%

Let us leaven their results with the contribution of a horde of godless, international fiends.