On Hasbro’s Potato Head Be It

Conservatives: Gender is all about the penis. If you were born with a penis, you’re a man. If not, you’re a woman. These are the inevitable facts about gender encoded in the laws of biology. You can’t change that by just calling yourself by a different name or using a different pronoun, and I won’t submit to your linguistic fascism, not even if you attempt to enforce it through cancel-culture economic terrorism!

Also Conservatives: This no-dick, extruded-plastic root vegetable is a man: how dare you disrespect him by removing his proper title? Next you’ll be calling this nutritious, starchy gentleman “it”! FOR SHAME. Call him “Mister” or I shall boycott your company forever!




  1. blf says

    Awwwww… the wingnuts going all pretend-Librarian about a brown-skinned immigrant from S.America — provided it’s a plastic toy.

  2. efogoto says

    Maybe Hasbro could add a plastic codpiece to the various accoutrements to prove his maleness – which assumes, of course, that a woman would never wear a codpiece …

  3. Owlmirror says

    I found this thread amusing . . .

    I am utterly exhausted and so a little slap-happy but, [hear] me out: if potatoes are genderless and full of eyes does that make them related to Biblically-accurate angels

    Response is an image of a vaguely angelic potato saying “FEAR NOT”.

    Additional responses by various commenters:

    – the solanim are a rare order of angel
    – Archangel Tuberiel

    – Beetatron
    (image of a vaguely angelic beet)

    The category is…


  4. Owlmirror says

    @cubist: I just looked at the picture that’s on that page, and I predict that what they show on the Potato Head box will still cause conservatives to flip out. Because there is one picture with two male-coded potatoes (both have mustaches) and a baby, and another picture with two female-coded potatoes (one has the eyelashes, the other has a ponytail) and a baby. And I will bet a box of cookies that conservatives will point at those and scream that they’re advancing the gay agenda to wee innocent children and won’t someone please think of the children !1eleventy!

  5. StevoR says

    Yup. Potato plants are generally monoecious – or hermaphrotic and able to self-pollinate with botanically perfect flowers.

    Theytend not tofruitmind you and whenthey do they look like green tomoatos butare poisonous and theseed doesn’tgo true totype so can’t get more of same ideal spuds from them.

    Thus using the tubers (which are stems) for vegetatative clonal propagation.

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