Presented (Almost) Without Comment: Wonkette’s Warren Wonketeer Has An Idea

Go. Read the whole thing. But if you are thinking that maybe you don’t really want to travel all the way over there, uphill, in the snow, read this much here:

imagine if the antisocial friends we have online decided to stop being antisocial. What if, and I mean this very seriously, the Chapo boys decided to put on their Little Lord Fauntleroy breeches, and discover their inner Eddie Haskells, and began to check themselves for “politeness” before they addressed a Warren person — or a Bidener, or a Klobucharerer, or a Mayor Pete fan (name people in their movement have been really gross about Mayor Pete) — and began asking themselves, “DOES THIS HELP MY MOVEMENT? COULD I PERSUADE SOME SQUARES WITH SEXY NICENESS?”

Because for all you sneer that “oh mean words matter more than people dying from lack of healthcare?” well, what matters more to you: Getting to say mean words, or people dying from lack of healthcare?

You don’t even have to mean it. You can secretly wish that we all die or get raped or whatever (I hope you don’t wish that, but some of y’all seem to), but out loud, you police yourself and your brothers and sisters: Does. this. help. our movement?

Anyway, that is my idea, and I mean it, and I hope you guys decide to be heroes for your guy, and sacrifice a little of the bile it feels so wonderful to vent. I understand about bile! I promise!

You could give it a stupid name, like the one I came up with already: Grander for Sanders. Find a Warren supporter. Grab her by the arm and help her across the street, metaphorically. I don’t know, offer to wash her lawn or mow her cat.

Because the nihilism is keeping you at a 30 percent ceiling. Chasing off new people is keeping you at a 30 percent ceiling. Coming in hot like Lt. Calley is keeping you at a 30 percent ceiling. Sheeit, shitting on fellow travelers like the fucking democratic socialists at Wonkette is keeping you at a 30 percent ceiling. I know lots of one-time Berners considering a Biden vote, because Biden’s people aren’t emotional terrorists.

And once you start faking niceness, you might find you like it.

It’s a choice! You could make it!

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