I’m 3 years old. I know everything.

So if you internet at all, you know about Reddit’s tradition of inviting on celebrities and Know-it-alls (and sometimes celebrity know-it-alls) for AMA sessions. If you internet at all lately, you may even know about the latest AMA to go viral. Too bad. I’m writing about it anyway.

Because Reddit is a sinkhole of evil, I’m going to source most of this from the best place on the internet for useless fluff: the Huffington Post (the Daily Mail and a few other places had coverage as well). According to HP, this all got started because Texas dad Matthew Clark found that his son Caleb tended to stick with the first answer he gave to any question, even if the question was 2+2 and the Caleb’s answer was 10. Find two pairs of two things? Have Caleb count the total? Didn’t matter.

Since Elon Musk thinks his thinky-thoughts can’t be wrong and he did a popular AMA, Matthew thought Caleb had all the necessary tools to be Reddit’s next font of wisdom.

And, in this case, we are all so glad he did.


Check out some of these questions Caleb answered:

JFWORD: What’s the biggest thing in the whole world?

Caleb: Bear.

JFWORD: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Caleb: Big.

RogerTheAlienSmith: What is the meaning of life?

Caleb: You are.

AyyJohnnyJ: What is the most complex thing you know?

Caleb: An idea.

Amethyst07: Which toy is your favorite and why?

Caleb: It’s a car. It’s a cool car!

JAZEYEN: Who is the coolest person in the Universe?

Caleb: Me. I am.



After reading so many of these, I can’t help but wonder why we needed Elon Musk to do an AMA when Caleb’s answers have much the same content and are so much more fun to read! But how does he handle the really “out there” questions?

Edibleface: How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Caleb: I don’t care.


Hmm. Not bad. But when you really just need some practical help, Musk is as bad as Kurzweil. Is Caleb any better? Let’s see:

Shaggorama: How will self-driving cars affect the US economy?

Caleb: I’ll get a car and win

YaBoyChewE: What steps will your energy policy take to meet our energy needs, while at the same time remaining environmentally friendly and minimizing job loss for fossil power plant workers?

Caleb: Yeah. I don’t know.

F-med: What … advice you want to give to adults? (F-Med announced that F-Med is not a native English speaker)

Caleb: I need snacks


Well, that all sounds honest, at least, and some parts of that are more practical than anything Musk has to offer. Okay, so we can replace Elon Musk in future AMAs. Can we replace anyone else?

StrawberryGirl1000: Favorite kind of pizza?

Caleb: A good pizza. I love the good pizzas.


Hmm. He does sound like he has the possibility to replace someone else. And he probably has small hands …



  1. says

    Funny, but also honestly disturbing – not that a 3-year-old talks like this, but that the goddamn president sounds exactly like him. 🙁

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