Baby Seal Attack

My old roommate Jed was more amused by the cruelty of nature than I could ever be, and coming from a rural place, was fond of anecdotes about city slickers being mangled because they were too affectionate or trusting with wild carnivores.  Once he told the rest of us a story about watching a video where somebody filming a baby seal got their face bitten nasty.

Around the same epoch of my life, I became acquainted with the Wu-Tang Clan’s first album.  In the song “Shame,” Raekwon the Chef says, “When you see me on the reel, formin’ like Voltron, remember I get deep like a navy SEAL.”  Perhaps because of Jed’s rude little tale, I really thought that guy was saying, “Remember I got teeth like a baby seal.”

It makes sense.  Like, a baby seal is cute, but harbors deadly weapons.  Beware, despite Raekwon’s good looks, he can hurt you.  But no, he was not likening himself to a juvenile pinniped.  All these years later, my dreams remain crushed.

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Those Go-Go’s

The video for “Head Over Heels” is clearly trying to be a romp, a fun showcase for fun girls’ fun personalities.  Belinda is spunky and chipper, Jane is sensitive and romantic, and the other ones…  What is it saying about them?  Red-haired bassist Kathy is just sorta there.  Mullety keyboardist Charlotte is a nervous dorkwad who is afraid you’ll shove her in a locker if she stops rocking.

And what is the video saying about drummer Gina, with her plaid shirt, secretive glances at Belinda, knowing smiles with Jane, and uncanny resemblance to future celeb Kate McKinnon?  She’s the lesbian.  Isn’t that a hoot?  Actually, I do think that’s fun.  I don’t object.  I’m just finding it noteworthy.  This is me noting it.

With Ecstatic Music On

That’s a Björk reference in the title to this post.  And she had an album called Post, so you know, approps.  I’m getting little episodes of mania, not necessarily rising to the level of needing treatment, but they give me glimpses of a worse life.  Insights.  I think this is a good example of the way mania messes with artistic types:  I have a novel to be writing.  So far it’s gone well, I was feeling the character and the action was compelling.  But as I have time to write on it this morning, I just want to listen to wild music, daydream about being a rock star.  Or at least doing cronchy electro-goth covers of The Go-gos, Danzig, Van Halen, and Madonna, doing videos for yewchoob where I act like a freak.  That’s what I’ll do with my life, yeah…  Fucken useless.
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Body High vs. Head High

I sometimes write about characters involved with drugs, but don’t know much from firsthand experience.  This is something I just randomly remembered from when I was in high school.  Sometimes people would talk about a body high or head high, more often the body high.  I feel like it was in reference to LSD.  That was in the ’90s.  Do any of you remember this, and can you explain to me what it means?

I suppose I could dig up the facebook for my old home boy Try-Anything-Once Todd and ask him, but I might need a facebook account for that, and no thanks.
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Who Are You? (Owl Impression)

Politics, amirite?  Hooboy.  This will be the last article in my attempt to top all categories of FtB articles, unless some sneaky fucker edges me out of one of the categories I already topped.  Get it, I’m a top.  I kid, you know I switch.  OK I’m probably a pillow princess but you know I got a bad back.  LL Cool J would rap about banging my girlfriend if I had one.  Remember that line?

OK, so politics, I know I’ve been thinking something about this lately, what was it?  Hm…  Oh yeah.  Last night while I was non-sleeping, I was trying to explain myself to the mute audience in my head, and felt the need to preface my arguments with who I am, politically.  I haven’t felt the need to put that into words much, so here it is.

I’m a personal anarchist.  I think society should have laws but that all people should be willing to break them, as needed, to suit our personal ethos.  Be willing to do the time for your crimes, but be willing to do the crimes you feel are most necessary.

I’m a socialist, maybe even a communist, at the end of the day.  No allegiance to the ghost of the USSR, no worries in that Charly.  I just know that in a world where every inch is owned by either the government or billionaires, there is no room for any person to truly meet all their own needs.

In the USA we live by that myth.  All our laws are constructed around an idea grown more absurd every day, that every person can work, and that the fruit of that labor can be sufficient to care for us through our whole lives.  If we, the poor, can’t have one fucking thing that isn’t fragile as hell, can’t have any social safety net to pick us up when getting worked at this rate inevitably breaks us, then the government needs to step up with cradle-to-grave social services, given generously and without stipulation.  And as far as the commune goes, that isn’t just breaking your back with a hoe.  I think all Hollywood movie-making and corporate art should ultimately be destroyed and replaced with artists working communally to make art for its own sake, profit as incidental rather than the sole motivating factor to make or do anything.  And tech and science and education and child-rearing.  There are many things that can be done communally.

The rich bore me as much as they oppress me.  Their idea of the good life, of what is worthwhile at all, it’s a cosmically bad joke.  I’d be OK with them existing, with their cheek implants and lambos, if they could just leave it at that and not suck us dry at every opportunity.  They can’t be trusted with what they have.  Class war now, babes.

I keed, I keed.  Or do I?  I do.  Unless..?  Ahaha, I had you going.  Or maybe…
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EDIT – I DID IT!!!! I’M NUMBER ONE!!!!  for as long as it lasts.

Oh My My, Oh Hell Yes

Honey, put on that party dress.  I don’t suggest looking up the music video that goes with those lyrics on yewchoob.  Content Warning: Necrophilia.  Not on this post, just that video.

I like Tom Petty’s hot jams tho.  But if I make this post about music, it won’t help me top all the categories of FtB articles.  I need an article about “Miscellaneous and Meta.”  So, um, I dunno… Weed.  There’s no weed category.  I don’t smoke weed but I like the memes and humor.  Some of it.  By the last Cheech & Chong movie that shit was tired.  Wait, that’s a kind of Art Culture and Humor, just like Tom Petty.

I’ll just say a little about my situation again, today, this morning, 8:52 AM as I type this sentence.  I’ve been having occasional insomnia since something like mid- to late-December.  My job requires brain power and emotional self-control, both of which are impaired by lack of sleep, so I just called in sick.  Awake all night.

I don’t know why this is happening, but both my brother and father are bipolar and this has something like manic features.  But the fact it has only happened in the dark part of the year makes me think it’s possible that’s related.  And I drank a can of Pepsi close to midnight.  But still.

I don’t deserve this, man!  Imma get arrested by the motherfucking Dream Police.  Cheap Trick were right!
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On Genital Preference

My conquest of the categories of FtB articles continues apace, with this rip-roaring number about Feminism Gender and Sexuality.  I don’t know if I’ve posted my thoughts about genital preference before, so I’ll lay out the main points.

It’s OK to have a genital preference, when it comes to doing the sex.  When it comes to casual conversation, less so, but it’s a situational thing.  I’d say a good rule of thumb is this – express your love for the genitals you want to get with, never express disgust for the genitals that you’d prefer to avoid.  Somebody has those genitals, and doesn’t deserve to have to feel disgusting, right?

There are a lot of ramifications of this.  Don’t equate your genital preference with your orientation, even if it makes intuitive sense.  “I love vag because I’m a lesbian.”  There are lesbians that don’t love vag for any number of reasons, there are lesbians who don’t have vag and don’t deserve to think of themselves as undesirable to lesbians for that reason – even tho it’s valid for that to be true in your case.  Does that make sense?  It’s complicated.

I find a very, very useful way to think of this is like fatphobia.  It’s OK for you to not find fat people attractive.  You can’t control what your instincts tell you, and they’ve been warped by simmering in global fatphobia your whole life.  You shouldn’t have to force yourself to be with a person you can’t physically love, and much more importantly, no fat person deserves to be stuck with somebody who cannot physically love them.

But wearing a “no fatties” t-shirt or dropping that preference in anything but the most hushed and apologetic tones is a fucking vile thing to do.  Likewise, unless a transbian makes a pass at ye, vag-requiring lesbian, don’t feel the need to bring it up.  It just isn’t necessary, until it is, which is sure to be an extremely rare occurrence.  (Ditto in reverse gay dudes in cis/trans situations.)

This is one way terfs ruin shit for everyone.  Lesbians should be able to yell about how much they love muff as much as gay men yell about dick.  It’s still an option, of course, but thanks to terfs identifying AFAB parts with their hate movement by way of their internet handles and slogans, any lesbian reveling in their genital preference may result in a nearby trans person of any stripe feeling unsafe or unsettled.  Is this person going to try to harm me?  Don’t know.  Non-nazi dykes don’t deserve to have to think about that every time they put on the “I Love Pussy” hat.

I could be wrong about any of this in any way; I am not up on the current discourse, and have never had a meaningful conversation with genital dysphoria-having person about the subject.
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FreethunksBlogdotWho?

In pursuit of my conquest of the categories of FtB articles, I must think a thought about FREETHOUGHT.  Sometimes our network shows a bit of disunity in the continuing mission to be progressive and secular charismatic preachers.  But there can be reasonable disagreements within that remit, and no one lately has come out the side hatch with regressivisms or god belief, so we’re cool on that level.

It’s just a little funny to see somebody who is like, God?  Nuh.  Ghosts, well…  That’s alright tho, as I said.  It’s interesting to me that we all have different reasons for our unbelief.  At least one of us has stated unequivocally they arrived at it through a kind of Cartesian meditation, another that it was the injustice of christian dogmas alone that pushed them away.

My own feeling du jour is that some people are constitutionally incapable of believing in the immaterial, some people being me.  I didn’t have a choice, and still don’t.  Whenever I’ve had a feeling that touches on the transcendent, I recognized that there was nothing genuinely supernatural to it.  No, not strictly accurate.  I never stopped noticing the real.

The activism was a choice.  I speak out in defense of philosophical materialism because people like me, who have never seen a ghost and never will, shouldn’t have to feel like grim outliers in the no-fun police.  We’re fun, I swear!  So fun.  I like to think   I’m fun.
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Pepsi and Mania

Don’t drink mildly caffeinated beverages close to midnight when you’ve been having random nights of insomnia.  A recurring theme of these episodes is feeling the need to explain myself, in some way, to some hypothetical audience I’ll likely never face.  Last night it was the annoyance of seeing yet another leftesque person decide to take a “bold” stand against AI art, locking arms with exactly everyone in the entire universe except apparently my boyfriend and one subreddit.  And so I was contemplating making that my first ever yewchoob video, which I’ll likely never do.  But I kept contemplating, getting no sleep whatsoever.  It’s ten minutes to eight and my work alarm goes off at 8:20.

So I’ve decided to make eight posts, so I can have the top article in every category on FtB’s front page.  Here I am, born to be kings, I’m the princes of the universe.  This post has already mentioned art, and so it will be the top post for “Arts and Culture.”  I rule.
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Antisemitism and Phishing

They say the misspellings and shoddy construction of phishing emails are specifically to weed out potential bites from people clever enough to do fraudsters some damage.  It seems every conspiracy except for the real ones trace back to antisemitic beliefs – flat earth, qanon, hollow earth, pizzagate, 9-11 truth, antivax, gender crit, foreign infiltration, whatever.  “They” are always, at the end of the day, “the jews.”  It makes me think, in this moment, what if antisemitism serves a similar function?  If you can believe “the jews” are up to no good on that level, you can believe any wack thing.

There are definitely holes in that.  The spelling errors are there from go, in your spam trap.  Sometimes the antisemitism is buried kinda deep; it can’t be the gateway drug.  Just a random thunk on a random day.

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