Baby Seal Attack

My old roommate Jed was more amused by the cruelty of nature than I could ever be, and coming from a rural place, was fond of anecdotes about city slickers being mangled because they were too affectionate or trusting with wild carnivores.  Once he told the rest of us a story about watching a video where somebody filming a baby seal got their face bitten nasty.

Around the same epoch of my life, I became acquainted with the Wu-Tang Clan’s first album.  In the song “Shame,” Raekwon the Chef says, “When you see me on the reel, formin’ like Voltron, remember I get deep like a navy SEAL.”  Perhaps because of Jed’s rude little tale, I really thought that guy was saying, “Remember I got teeth like a baby seal.”

It makes sense.  Like, a baby seal is cute, but harbors deadly weapons.  Beware, despite Raekwon’s good looks, he can hurt you.  But no, he was not likening himself to a juvenile pinniped.  All these years later, my dreams remain crushed.


  1. brightmoon says

    Animals that don’t belong to me don’t get touched and unless they’ve got their owners there even approached , period ! Especially if they’re wild! I remember when I was a kid several people got mauled because Disney films made wild animals too cute and refused to show predators actually killing prey.

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