It was thanksgiving morning
The turkey I’d chosen
Had thawed for five days
But was still a bit frozen [Read more…]
The Digital Cuttlefish
Since the music plays so briefly... Can you blame me if I dance?
It was thanksgiving morning
The turkey I’d chosen
Had thawed for five days
But was still a bit frozen [Read more…]
I cannot bring myself to link to the inspiration for this one. It exists on twitter, in the president’s own tweets, for those who crave punishment. It is a bad photoshop, of Tr*mp’s head on the body of a boxer (the pugilist kind, not the dog, which would have been both better and worse). Edit: Or you could look here.
[Read more…]
We may, now, in a Petri dish
Grow pork or chicken, beef or fish,
As cruelty-free as one might wish
With one exception
Though “cruelty-free” (the phrase that sells),
Its tissue line, disclosure tells,
Used stolen, not donated cells
For its inception [Read more…]
Mind your manners, boys and girls!
The G.O.P. will clutch their pearls [Read more…]
We furrowed our brows!
We tsked! We harrumphed!
We firmly expressed our dismay!
We clutched at our pearls, and
We fainted on couches,
And mostly just called it a day. [Read more…]
Fighting for our freedom!
United in our quest!
Concerns? We never need ‘em
Knowing this is best!
The path we’re on is righteous!
Remember, we are right!
Unless, by chance we might just—
Might, maybe might just quite just—
Perpetuate our plight! [Read more…]
The rapture is coming this April twenty-third
Which is clearly revealed if you study God’s Word
But it’s all new to me; I’ve just recently heard
And I’m shocked at the news I’m receiving
While the rest of us pay for the wrath we’ve incurred
The believers, they will be leaving [Read more…]
(to the tune of “Stormy Weather, of course)
He’s a man
But I don’t know if he can
Weather Stormy
Every bit of news here before me
More coming all the time [Read more…]
With apologies to Ogden Nash, who did it first and better. [Read more…]
So I know, I am late getting to this, and the whole thing is over. And I know, the idea of “Lady Doritos” was never really a thing, and the kerfuffle was a tempest in a teapot, one of those internet bomb cyclones that lasts about as long as it takes to say “bomb cyclone” and disappears. [Read more…]