A Very Good Thanksgiving

It was thanksgiving morning
The turkey I’d chosen
Had thawed for five days
But was still a bit frozen

From decades of cooking
The turkey, I’ve learned
That a turkey like this
Turns out raw, or else burned

(With mashed sweet potatoes
And cranberry relish,
Who cares if the turkey’s
A bit salmonellish?)

Accepting the chance
That some diner might die
We’ll drown it in gravy
And fill up on pie

And if, as it happens,
The turkey is fine
Then we’ll eat, and we’ll talk,
And we might have some wine

And give thanks to each other,
And to those who aren’t here
For their part in creating
Thanksgiving this year

As it turned out, the turkey was delicious. As was everything else. Board games were played, jokes were told, animals were spoiled, and (having spent some time in preparation) a splendid time was had by all.

I hope your day was every bit as good, unless you are a member of the Trump administration or one of those enabling them, in which case salmonella is too good.


  1. Cuttlefish says

    You probably weren’t there to see, but this one was composed on the fly this morning on Twitter. Which is different.

  2. says

    Wishing a meal salmonellish
    On anyone is hellish.
    Who would deserve such a malwish?
    One who would murder embellish
    As statecraft, a ruler Orwellish
    Whose deals mean “just bomb ’em”
    Skip juries, embalm ’em.
    Trade doesn’t mean “bill ’em”,
    Just take stuff and kill ’em.
    Making America greater?
    Just get the whole world to hate her.
    And he’s dragging us all into hell
    How deep, only history will tell.

  3. Die Anyway says

    Ahh, Thanksgiving 2019! When families and friends could gather in close camaraderie. I remember it but just barely. We had no clue what was coming just months away.

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