Four Seasons Total Landscaping

Come gather ‘round people, wherever you roam
And examine the polling from Tampa to Nome
And everywhere else that True Patriots call home
Where American Flags are still draping
And where people in need of ten yards of screened loam
Call for Four Seasons Total Landscaping

Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen
As the G.O.P. files a lawsuit or ten
And they say they’ll show proof, but they never say when
Until even Fox News will stop taping
For this dig, they need shovels, and several strong men,
So call Four Seasons Total Landscaping!

Come Senators, Congressmen, please heed the call
Where conspiracy theorists go one, they go all
With McConnell deciding, when faced with a fall
For the Tangerine Loser he’s caping
With a story as flimsy as Trump’s Border Wall
He needs Four Seasons Total Landscaping

Come mothers and fathers, throughout the land
The children you raised are now taking a stand
And it may or may not be the way that you planned
But the country is surely reshaping
If the bedrock you stand on is now sinking sand
Call for Four Seasons Total Landscaping

The line it is drawn, the curse it is cast
The Republican arguments all are half-assed
They can choose—either to be a thing of the past
Or pretend they have only been japing
We should bury them deep, we should bury them fast
So call Four Seasons Total Landscaping

With sincere, deep, and heartfelt apologies, and many thanks, to Bob Dylan.

If I have to explain this one… please introduce me to your dealer.


  1. StevoR says

    @ ^ brucegee1962 : Yes, yes, they should be.

    @ The Digital Cuttlefish : I love it! Great to have you posting again!

  2. Thinker says

    Simply wonderful, Cuttlefish! And you know I can resist anything — except temptation. So here goes:

    Come, people, see lawyers and doctors of spin:
    The fall that is Orange, they think is a Win!
    This winter of discontent, bear it and grin,
    ‘cause by spring they’ll stand jaw-dropped and gaping
    And next summer they’ve deepened the hole that they’re in
    Helped by Four Seasons Total Landscaping!

  3. says

    Apologies for putting a comment here which has nothing to do with the poem it’s allegedly a comment on, but I just discovered something that the Cuttlefish might find interesting, and it’s not at all clear how to get in touch: The Discworld Stamp Catalogue has a Curious Squid stamp which depicts a cuttlefish.

  4. Cuttlefish says


    In theory, it might be a pajama squid, or some similar dwarf squid. Often mistaken, by people who think the squid are more adorable than they actually are.

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