Headline Muse, 1/8

Though you might not be sure at first glance,
Looking twice might be taking a chance
So you try not to spy
At what first caught your eye…
Cos they’re riding, but not wearing pants

Headline: Subway riders to drop pants as part of global event

Via CNN:

Train commuters in major cities worldwide will get a little cheeky Sunday as part of the annual No Pants Subway Ride that … well … is exactly what it says.
Pranksters will converge at train stations decked out in shirts, shoes and no pants.

In solidarity with them, although there is no subway in Cuttletown, I am posting this while not wearing pants. Eyes front, soldier!

The U.S. War On Religion

While nobody wants us to see a sharia,
Respecting some other religion is fine
With proud church-and-state separation, this nation
Can make one exception—allowing for mine.
My faith is a factor in hiring and firing,
In filling prescriptions, in working with gays;
I’ll claim I’m the victim of warring, ignoring
The laws that the rest of the country obeys

The language that’s used in campaigning, explaining
How Christians are victims of hatred outright,
Is carefully tuned to the masses of asses
Who eagerly listen, convinced that it’s right.
The pandering pinheads are trying, by lying,
To gather their forces, to strengthen their core;
The truth is too boring, but fighting’s exciting—
To rally the troops, they’ve invented a war.

after the jump: [Read more…]

I Was Wrong! (Yes, You Can Make This Up!)

I am happy as a pig in mud to say I was very wrong–I was suckered by a very good (ok, you might think it was obvious, but I admit it fooled me) parody. Take a look at the Manka Bros, singing some “Praise-Hop”… or maybe “Praise-Bop”.

Poe’s law holds true again; they fooled me and I admit it. Good on ya, Manka Faith Family…

Hilarious. Thank you to commentors Senor, Articulett, and Mephistopholes, for being smarter than me, and sussing out this wonderful parody. And thanks to Manka Bros for creating such a horrible, wonderful parody.

You got me.

Headline Muse 1/7

In New Hampshire, a guaranteed Gomer*
Can believe that life owes him a homer—
In the first-voting state
Let’s shake up the debate
By inviting both Karger and Roemer!

Headline: Let’s shake things up: Let Roemer, Karger debate (might need to register.)

Come on… you’ve heard everything the big dogs are going to say. The one advantage New Hampshire claims to offer is a chance for the little voices. The people without a ghost of a chance. So let’s make NH relevant. Let’s invite some of the also-rans to the big show.

This is the time to make our primary more relevant than any of the other forums and debates to this point and rewrite the contest – which we often do.

Inviting former Louisiana governor Buddy Roemer to the table would draw attention to an issue that he has been focusing on: campaign financing and where the money to buy the presidency comes from. It’s long overdue. And it can be done by just an invitation.

And of course, the candidate already endorsed by The Digital Cuttlefish…

In addition to Roemer, Fred Karger has also been running a serious statewide campaign. He should be invited to the table as well.

Karger has a different view on social issues than the rest of the Republican field, and that could generate a broader, more meaningful dialogue – which should be the goal of any debate.

Of course, this being the right thing to do means pretty much that there is no chance in hell that it will be done.

Sadly… *”Gomer” (an acronym–Get Out of My Emergency Room) has a few definitions, but the common thread is that they are pretty much already dead, they just don’t know it.

New Hampshire Politics

New Hampshire, as you may have heard, has five seasons, not four. Tucked between Winter (which can be long) and Spring (which, by law, cannot be) there is Mud Season, that dreary time when any remaining snow is grey or brown with smoke, ash, or tire-spray, and not even the bravest of crocuses has dared yet to emerge.

I have noticed, though, another weather and behavioral anomaly in the Granite State. This one is a quadrennial pattern; I suspect it has something to do with sunspots.
[Read more…]

Santorum Booed In NH

So it seems that Rick Santorum,
At a recent public forum
Made a point he thought was clever, and was booed.
See, his point was to disparage
And belittle same-sex marriage,
But his audience was never in the mood.
He was obviously hoping
To engage in slipp’ry sloping:
“If we legalize gay marriage, what comes next?”
But his motive was transparent
And the people said “you daren’t”
Which he did, and so it left him quite perplexed.
I begin to get the feeling
That Santorum is appealing
To an audience that really isn’t there
And the hatred he’s extolling’s
Going to hurt him in the polling—
In the Granite State, he doesn’t have a prayer.

[Read more…]

Headline Muse, 1/4

She had shotgun; she had ammunition,
But was put in an awful position;
So she called nine-one-one
Ere she fired her gun—
He was dead once she got her permission.

Headline: Okla. Woman Shoots, Kills Intruder: 911 Operators Say It’s OK to Shoot.

A young Oklahoma mother shot and killed an intruder to protect her 3-month-old baby on New Year’s Eve, less than a week after the baby’s father died of cancer.

I’ve lost friends to gun accidents, but there’s no way in hell I would oppose this woman’s actions.

“I wouldn’t have done it, but it was my son,” McKinley told ABC News Oklahoma City affiliate KOCO. “It’s not an easy decision to make, but it was either going to be him or my son. And it wasn’t going to be my son. There’s nothing more dangerous than a woman with a child.”