How to destroy your science career

Last year, Christian Ott was suspended from CalTech for a year.

For what is believed to be the first time in its history, the California Institute of Technology (Caltech) in Pasadena has suspended a faculty member for gender-based harassment. The researcher has been stripped of his university salary and barred from campus for 1 year, is undergoing personalized coaching to become a better mentor, and will need to prove that he has been rehabilitated before he can resume advising students without supervision. Caltech has not curtailed his research activities.

Except, of course, that he wasn’t allowed to set foot on campus, which does tend to curtail one’s research activities.

This was part of a wave of belated actions by universities against their superstars who harrassed colleagues and students. It was good to see, but they could have been even tougher in handling the bad boys.

Well, his year-long suspension is up, and Christian Ott has resigned, as he should have on day one. Now the question remains: will some other university ignore his ugly history and scoop him up? Or will his behavior have effectively demolished his career? I suspect the former, but think the latter would be more just. We really don’t need more people who are contemptuous of the dignity of women in academia.

Don’t weep for Ott, though! While he may be a lousy candidate for the professoriate, he is still fully qualified for the American presidency!

Jen Gunter doesn’t just do vaginas

I’m relieved, I was feeling left out. Surely there aren’t any weird crank ‘wellness’ things for penises, are there? I’m not going to try and slide a jade egg up my urethra, after all.

But behold, there is something almost as bizarre. It’s Jiftip! It’s basically a piece of tape to put over the tip of your penis to prevent ejaculation.

Gunter explains why this was a bad idea, but I figured it out from the ad copy. It’s either very poorly written, or they’re hinting at horrors which will occur if you use this product. Or both.

Cover the tip and seal it tight. Nothing gets in or out until you remove it. Make sure and remove it in time.

In time for what? What happens if you don’t remove it in time? How do you know when the time is right?

An indoor penis party

IS IT SAFE TO HAVE AN INDOOR JIZZ-FEST-to hold everything inside? Feel safe-be safe requires you pull-out, remove the feel shield and ejaculate. That’s it, safe and worry-free. Oh, if she notices tears in your eyes, let her believe that it’s true love.

I’m already kind of squicked out at INDOOR JIZZ-FEST, but being safe requires that you pull out and remove the device? Again, what is unsafe about all of this? Will my penis explode?

And hang on there, I might cry after using it, and I’m supposed to lie to her about true love?

Ominous. I’m not liking this at all. Don’t read the testimonials.

Anyone Can Legally Say “Eat Shit, Bob!”

That’s good to know. It’s a line in the amicus brief filed by the ACLU in a case in which Bob Murray, reality-challenged friend of coal, is suing John Oliver for saying mean things about him and the coal industry. It’s hilarious. Somebody had fun writing it.

This case is beyond meritless. It is offensive to the very ideals of free speech embodied in the First Amendment. The fact that Plaintiffs filed this case is ridiculous enough; but, to pour gasoline on the fire, plaintiffs’ counsel has also filed a motion asking the court to make John Oliver not say mean things about him anymore. It is frankly shocking that Plaintiffs were able to find attorneys willing to file a lawsuit that is so obviously unconstitutional.

It is apt that one of Plaintiffs’ objections to the show is about a human-sized squirrell named Mr. Nutterbutter, because this case is nuts. Which also begs the question: is Mr. Nutterbutter one of the 50 Doe Defendants included in this action?

I have to remember the general principle in the title next time someone tries to sue me.

The atheist dilemma

There is no evidence for gods. It really is that simple. That is not proof that there are no gods, but it does imply that we ought to be cautious and limited in our interpretations of supernatural explanations — do not multiply the number and magnitude of unevidenced entities in your explanations of observed phenomena. It is genuinely easy, in an intellectual sense, to be an atheist, while believing in any gods is outrageously difficult because it requires positing an extremely complex root cause for everything with no supporting observations at all (in an emotional sense, it’s the reverse: it can be comforting to short-circuit the difficult path to knowledge by simply saying that “God (whatever the heck that is) did it.”)

But here’s the problem: how do you get that across to the majority of believers? And even more fundamentally, why should you bother? The argument is that if someone believes in UFOs or Jesus or that the Earth is flat, they aren’t hurting anyone else, and we atheists, as human beings, also all hold personal beliefs that might not be true — are atheists who like Justin Bieber wrong? — but again, if they aren’t hurting anyone else, so what? Do we have an obligation to be silently tolerant, or do we have an obligation to speak out?

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A radical proposal for the Democrats

I have this crazy idea that America really needs a political party that supports labor, women, and minorities, and that is dedicated to helping all people rise up. It should favor causes that improve civil rights and distributes power widely and works on making America better, rather than claiming it is already the best. It ought to have a platform that states clearly that it wants to promote the general welfare and strengthens every level of society, and that encourages greater autonomy of individuals, no matter how poor or wealthy they are.

Yeah, I’m a dreamer. I’d like to see the Democratic party become that party, rather than drifting away, because sure as hell the Republicans are its antithesis. Obviously, the Democrats are not that party right now. The Democrats just want to win by appealing to Republican voters. They don’t want reproductive rights to be an essential part of their platform.

Democrats will not withhold financial support for candidates who oppose abortion rights, the chairman of the party’s campaign arm in the House said in an interview with The Hill.

Rep. Ben Ray Luján (D-N.M.) said there will be no litmus tests for candidates as Democrats seek to find a winning roster to regain the House majority in 2018.

“There is not a litmus test for Democratic candidates,” said Luján, Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee chairman. “As we look at candidates across the country, you need to make sure you have candidates that fit the district, that can win in these districts across America.”

“Litmus tests“? WTF? This is about standing for a principle that is supposedly represented by the party that wants our vote. You want your party to stand for nothing, nothing is what you’ll get. Writing off pro-choice candidates in particular districts because you’ve decided they can’t win there is an admission that you want to elect Republicans Lite — that you want to populate the party with people who will undermine the goals of the party even more.

I don’t want politicians who’ll accommodate lunacy, I want politicians who will stand up against it. We have precious few of them. And the crusade against allowing women to control their own organs is becoming evil and absurd, and they’re winning because of the craven politicians who are apparently in charge of policy for the Democrats.

Look at what’s going on in Kentucky: they’re trying to shut down the last abortion clinic in the state, and it’s getting militantly ugly. They’re going to wheel in a jumbotron and show graphic videos of abortions to passers-by. You know, if they had a jumbotron showing videos of cancer surgeries, it would be gross and horrific and bloody, too — but it wouldn’t be a good argument that we should stop treating cancer.

This has to be one of the top priorities for a party that I would support — it has to defy the religiously-motivated nonsense that is driving the defunding of Planned Parenthood, the closing of women’s health clinics, and the demonization of women who want to make their own choices about children. If the Democrats want to be the party that doesn’t give a fuck about any of that, good luck in the next election when they have to make a case that they’re different from the assholes now in power.

By the way, you know what else doesn’t work? Silicon Valley douchebro billionaires deciding that plutocrats like Bloomberg should be our next candidate. I am constantly horrified by the bad ideas people suggest to rejuvenate the party, when the real problem is that they’ve lost all connection to reality and the needs of the people they’re supposed to represent.

Now I’m craving a milkshake

I don’t even particularly care for milkshakes, but Heather Antos posted this selfie.

I didn’t know anything about her, but I’ve since learned that she’s an editor at Marvel comics, and that mobs of manbabies hate her for that photo. And the fact that a fair number of editors at Marvel seem to be women.

It’s strange. They hate it when women aspire to STEM jobs, and they hate it when women are English and communications majors and get jobs appropriate to their qualifications — and all of those jobs are out of their league. But don’t worry, manbabies, the male executive class at Marvel also don’t like diversity, and blame it for declining sales…because overpriced comic books, bizarre story lines, and Nazi Captain America would never hurt their appeal.

It’s interesting how anything, even drinking a milkshake, can be a seditious act when your opposition is a swarm of not-very-bright snowflakes. It’s also amusing that they’re raging about an innocuous photo, while the Nazis-drink-milk fad elicited nothing but a bemused what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you from the SJWs.

That was quick

The Mooch has been fired. He only lasted 10 days on the job. He didn’t even make it to the opening show of SNL!

Poor guy. He missed the birth of his child to hang out with Trump, his wife is divorcing him for tying his ambitions to Trump, and now Trump has kicked him to the curb. I’m almost feeling some sympathy for him.

So who’s next? Next to be communications director, next to be fired, next to be impeached?