What your turkey looks like to a vegetarian

Yuck, this abomination is making the rounds again.

I’m going to see my granddaughter tomorrow. Should I bring her one of these? I don’t really want to see her brought up as a serial killer or a Frankenstein…although it does suggest some cool experiments. If we hook it up to the wall socket, can we make it live?

Unfortunately, as vegetarians, neither I nor my daughter have the spare parts to craft one. We’ve got leeks, and onions, and carrots, and asparagus, and broccoli, and mushrooms, though, and I might be able to concoct a vegan nightmare out of all that.

Alas, the chicken teddy is fake news.

The raw chicken teddy bear, which went viral for the first time in 2013, is actually a piece of art by Russian artist Viktor Ivanov, who said at the time, “On the whole, it made me feel disgusted the entire time I was making it.”

He added: “One should not know what it’s like to sew through skin.”

What? I know what it’s like to sew through skin. I had no idea it was a forbidden art.

Somebody else’s legal drama

I’m weirdly happy to see that I’m not alone in suffering from weird obsessed narcissists abusing the legal system, especially since I’ve never gone through anything this twisted. Lindsay Ellis explains the hot mess of a lawsuit over unbelievably sexual/violent fan fiction, and how someone who claimed to have invented “wolf rape heterosexual erotica fiction” sued to protect her “intellectual” “property”. It’s an hour long. It requires that long to unravel it all.

I’d never heard of the Omegaverse, let alone read any, and guess what? I am totally cured of any curiosity about it!

I want this for a pet

Now.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Posted by Blair Wolf on Sunday, March 13, 2016

I would hug him and squeeze him and name him George and phtagn him for hours and feed him wgah’nagl iä and blood of the iä! Iä! Ph’nglui mglw’nfah Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn! Cthulhu fthagn!

Gwen Pearson just ruined Christmas for everyone

The war on Christmas is over. Everyone just gave up in disgust. They read this story about reindeer parasites, complete with burrowing snot flies, vaginal maggot guns, and people picking maggots out of their eyes, and decided it just wasn’t worth it any more.

What kind of gun should I get to pick off flying reindeer? I’m thinking of spending Christmas Eve patrolling the neighborhood and making sure none of those diseased vermin get anywhere near my house.

No, I’m not even tempted by this one

myfarog

I haven’t played a role-playing game in decades. I enjoyed them, but…no time, and as you all know, I have no friends and am universally despised, so no one to play them with. And now I have another reason to not play at least one of them: it sucks. There’s a new RPG out called Myfarog, which looks unplayable, and is written by a proud racist who sees RPGs as a rehearsal for the coming collapse of Western Civilization. At least it gets away from the tired old stereotype of evil Orcs, and instead has you facing hordes of evil Jews.

It’s strange how half the internet seems to be complaining about “political correctness”, yet there doesn’t seem to be any significant suppression of some of the foulest crap, from Myfarog to Donald Trump, anywhere. In fact, it’s like a golden age of shit everywhere!