What your turkey looks like to a vegetarian

Yuck, this abomination is making the rounds again.

I’m going to see my granddaughter tomorrow. Should I bring her one of these? I don’t really want to see her brought up as a serial killer or a Frankenstein…although it does suggest some cool experiments. If we hook it up to the wall socket, can we make it live?

Unfortunately, as vegetarians, neither I nor my daughter have the spare parts to craft one. We’ve got leeks, and onions, and carrots, and asparagus, and broccoli, and mushrooms, though, and I might be able to concoct a vegan nightmare out of all that.

Alas, the chicken teddy is fake news.

The raw chicken teddy bear, which went viral for the first time in 2013, is actually a piece of art by Russian artist Viktor Ivanov, who said at the time, “On the whole, it made me feel disgusted the entire time I was making it.”

He added: “One should not know what it’s like to sew through skin.”

What? I know what it’s like to sew through skin. I had no idea it was a forbidden art.


  1. bcw bcw says

    Almost completely off topic, but in a way another turkey story:

    ” Since Aaron Rodgers returned to the field after testing positive for Covid-19, having sat out 10 days because he was unvaccinated, the star Green Bay Packers quarterback has been dealing with a mysterious and painful toe injury.

    After previously describing it in vague terms as a “Covid injury,” Rodgers confirmed what dermatologists had previously suspected.

    “No lingering effects, other than the Covid Toe,” Rodgers said Tuesday on the Pat McAfee show.

    Covid Toe is a casual name for something medically known as pernio or chilblains, which is a condition that causes symptoms such as discoloration and lesions. It can be extremely painful and turn the toes purple.

    Rodgers elaborated on it more Tuesday, saying on the sports talk show that while he was in a great deal of pain, sitting out games isn’t an option. He also indicated that the issue is primarily with his fifth, or pinkie, toe.

    “I have an injury that’s not going away,” he said.

    The condition can be so painful that some patients report difficulty wearing shoes. But throwing on a pair of cleats isn’t the only impediment between Rodgers and comfortably playing quarterback. It’s also the time of year and the location of his NFL franchise.

    One of the most critical factors that can exacerbate Covid Toe is cold weather. Rodgers happens to play for a team in Green Bay, Wis., where temperatures are expected to dip below 20 degrees this week. He already had to play through snow with the toe injury during the game against the Seahawks.

    In most cases, Freeman says, the lesions will resolve on their own. While she couldn’t speak to Rodgers or his condition specifically, she generally recommends that patients keep their core and extremities warm to prevent flare-ups. Beyond that, she advises consulting board-certified dermatologists for treatment.

    “The best way to avoid Covid Toes is to get vaccinated,” Freeman said. "

  2. says

    It looks delicious. Gimme!
    Remember when Palin pardoned a turkey but then gave an interview while another turkey bled its life out upside-down? I was thankful that she accidentally showed how it’s done.

  3. microraptor says

    Today I learned that Black Friday is apparently the number one day for gallbladder surgery in the US: all that overindulging in butter, gravy, and other fatty and greasy things people overindulge in.

  4. azpaul3 says

    What? I know what it’s like to sew through skin. I had no idea it was a forbidden art.

    Mad scientists are exempted, Doc. You’re safe.

  5. woozy says

    “On the whole, it made me feel disgusted the entire time I was making it.”

    He added: “One should not know what it’s like to sew through skin.”

    That seems to be way overstating.

    Okay, fine. I can accept that vegetarians may find meat eating barbaric and disgusting– I’m open minded and listen to all opinions– but it’s not an extreme or fringe practice. Sewing skin together is something everyone who has ever roasted a turkey knows. And sure playing with your food this way is distasteful and “kinda gross” but it’s not really “disgusting”

  6. hemidactylus says

    Why does it vaguely resemble dissected cat from anatomy class? And why did dissecting cats make me oddly hungry, but not stinky dogfish or mudpuppies? Seriously it was weird and disturbing, but I so wanted a roast beef sandwich while cleaning up cat musculature with utensils.

    And my own cat was conflicted on the visualizing body palpation thing with laboratory manual in hand. He enjoyed the attention but maybe wondered why I was so interested in the specifics of his shoulder and hip structure.

    I think the meat teddy would go best with a bacon vest. And stuffing. Or fava beans and a nice chianti.

  7. wzrd1 says

    @hemidactylus, just watch out for some guests consuming those fava beans, some could suffer from G6PD deficiency, aka favism. If any do, I’ll happily enjoy their portion. They can have my okra. ;)