1. wazza says

    Why wash your hair with shampoo when you can wash it with real poo?

    OT: where’s the nearest open thread? I need to consult the pharyngulites on a random topic.

  2. John says

    Coffee Enemas?! I can hear it now:

    “Thank You for shopping StarBucks, may I help you?”

    “I’ll take a double latte, 2 sugars, whole milk, and the #4 insertion tube please”

    Some people are freaks.

  3. ennui says

    New Peaberry for the Poopchute®!
    Now available in two exciting (non-irritating) flavours!
    Kona Kornhole & Sumatran Sphincter!

    This shit writes itself.

  4. says


    OT: where’s the nearest open thread? I need to consult the pharyngulites on a random topic.

    Just use the IRC channel, dude. There’s a link in the sidebar.

  5. says

    I have this horrific vision of a waitress. Pink diner uniform. Stained white apron. Holding up a tube and two pots. “Regular or decaff?”

    What’s really terrifying is her going on to the next table for refills…

    I need to go wash my mind out with bleach now, thankees.

  6. says

    And then there’s the milk chocolate enema. Just in case you weren’t feeling like coffee this morning.


    That was a cry from despair, my dears. No need to answer.

  7. says

    A colleague of mine recently embarked on a weekend “fruit flush”–eating nothing but fruit in order to “purge toxins.” There was certainly a lot of flushing involved.

  8. gerald spezio says

    While you are busy-busy with flushing THE UGLY PROBLEM CAUSING TOXINS, you won’t be concerned with flushing the horrendous consequences of the always increasing COMPOUND INTEREST payments you must make to laughing & rollicking bankers.

    The “real” problems are in right there in YOUR OWN BOWELS; not in banking and compound interest.

    Compound interest cleans you out, but it is a different kind of cleansing – a mere matter of framing the mystifications about bowels, bums, and banking.

    Clean out your bowels real good, and you will be on the road to the healthy life in the garden of eden – compound interest payments are part of the CLEANSING.

    You understand, do you not.

  9. Sonja says

    Again this year at my Senate District DFL (MN Democrats) convention I had to read through all the pages of the proposed platform resolutions to find the ones that request coverage for homeopathic or alternative medicine so I could vote against them. And, of course, they were in there…

  10. Sastra says

    It’s interesting that there are atheists who believe in this kind of alternative medicine crap.

    How? Easy. They didn’t become atheists through the rational process of applying reason and science to the concept of god. They became atheists for irrational reasons — including the desire to see themselves as “freethinkers” who aren’t afraid to go against Established Authorities. Established authorities like, you know, churches and priests and scientists and Big Pharma and Western ways of thinking.

    I have a friend who does not believe in God, but advocates and accepts virtually every form of pseudoscientific garbage out there, from homeopathy to psychics to space alien abductions. The big connection is a deep reliance on personal experience, and a deep distrust of scientists’ say-so. She worships the God of MAYBE. As in “maybe all the experts are wrong and it takes the brave, independent person who works on gut intuitions to see that.” From what I can tell, the only reason she’s not a creationist is she hates the Religious Right, and that’s whose peddling that form of pseudoscience.

    One reason why I tend to self-identify as a secular humanist, rather than just as ‘atheist.’

  11. Rob says

    Maybe we can convince the creationists to take reverse phrenology to heart (but only for themselves)?

  12. says

    The parody is absolutely awsome! I laughed my ass off! What a breakfast conversation that blog would make. I could see it now, eating breakfast with my three youngest sons, debating over which is best – coffee, tea, or milk based enemas. That would be right up there with their normal dinnertime conversations that are produced without any outside influence. It was often difficult to stay at the table with them; but only because I was so busy choking on my food from laughing so hard! I have to send them this url!

    There is only one homebased remedy I lend any credence to, and that is a dried, green, leafy substance with active ingredients known as tetrahydrocannabinol, cannabinol, and cannabidiol. You figure it out…

  13. Alien says

    Alas for the late great “Museum of Questionable Medical Devices”!

    It used to be located in Minneapolis on St. Anthony Main down by the river. The guy who ran it retired and shut it down a few years ago. The phrenology device (kind of like a dentist’s chair with a lot of probes and levers around the head, and an automatic fortune cookie printout) is now in the Science Museum in St. Paul. But there was so much, so much more …