URGENT: Vampire Squirrels are A Thing.

Via The Rainforest Site:

Don’t Let The Fluffy Tail Fool You: This Vampire Squirrel Is A Killer

Vampire squirrels, people. VAMPIRE SQUIRRELS. (!!!)

The tufted ground squirrel, also known by its Latin name, Rheithrosciurus macrotis, enjoys springing through trees, eating giant acorns and communing with other squirrels. According to Bornean hunters, however, the tufted ground squirrel sometimes strays away from its usual fare in favor of a carnivorous approach.Hunters say the squirrels wait in low branches and drop onto the backs of passing muntjac. A small species of deer, the muntjac is ill matched against its surprise adversary. The squirrels skitter to the necks of the deer and quickly sever the muntjacs’ jugular veins. After that, the squirrels wait for the deer to die and then feast upon the unfortunate muntjacs’ internal organs.

Just think: you could be that muntjac.

Here’s a picture. Note the Satanic horns and the evil witch hands.


And exactly how “unusual” is this squirrel behavior, really? I mean the pouncing on the back, severing the jugular, waiting for the bleed out and devouring the internal organs.

Who even knows what these ungodly menaces are doing RIGHT NOW where there are no cameras and no one’s watching?

[h/t Morgan]


  1. says

    Oh, those ears are fucking great! (Hey, I live with killer rats. Vampire squirrels don’t scare me, the rats would eat them.)

  2. says

    Caine: So essentially what you’re saying is, we all need to cultivate a personal army of killer rats to protect us from the deadly menace of Sciuridae. ON IT.

    rq: Of course I’m trying to sway your opinion in this matter, but not by using a completely different, harmless species for my own dramatic purposes. First of all, I nabbed that pic from the link. Second, there are no harmless squirrels.

  3. janiceintoronto says

    You’ve been taken in. This is one of our reptile overlords, cleverly disguised to fit in among us unseen.

  4. rq says

    I don’t believe you. NYAH! Just because my squirrel bites me doesn’t mean it’s harming me.