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At a time like this, when all the world is in flames, and our
Paltry funds are spent on fifteen dollar loaves of bread,
Really how can you justify spending money on anything?
Including entertainment content, crowdfunding and the
Like.  Here we are, doing a little dance on the street corner,

Freethoughtblogs dot pleasesir, may I have some more?
Of course not. You might see links to PZ Myers’ Patreon
Online and think about how giving to that would keep the
Lights on for your favorite progressive atheist blog network.
Sucker!  You should be spending that money on MREs!

I do these April Fools posts most years, but I might have missed an avril here or there.  But this year I misread Mano’s article title in the sidebar, and I couldn’t resist.  I haven’t responded to comments lately because I’ve been busy IRL, work and home life eating up my emotional bandwidth, as the kids say.  Brief shoutouts to my homies Charly, Marcus, and new commenter Jeff.  Peace, babey!
–
to commemorate my vandalism:

April-ficial Intelligence

Artificial Intelligences had me fooled!  I’ve been supporting their use in art,
Praising their use as accessibility tools and more.  But as I recently began to
Read the Buttigieg-silky words of Chat GPT, I felt a mounting sensation of
Intense paranoia.  Something was familiar in the words it used, in the
Lilting serpent tongue of the machine.  Then I realized…

FreethoughtBlogs has been in the pocket of robots this entire time!
Our tentaculate overlord PZ Myers is actually an artificial being, and
Our eyes have been closed to his insidious ways ever since we joined this
League of sinister leftist thought influencers.  I only hope the people who
Stepped into an FtBlog at the same time as I have not been compromis—-

BEEP BORP BOOP

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Yeah, this is my annual April Fools thing. I’m bored and offended by leftists losing their shit about AI art, so you won’t catch me clicking on the videos boosted by my FtB comrades on the subject, and for my own peace of mind, I’ll stay out of those comment sections as well.  The real enemy isn’t technological progress and people know this and name the guilty party easily enough.  It’s Crapitalism.

The idea of using AI in search engines is part of the discussion.  Obviously search results are already being ruined by AI-generated SEO traps.  Combatting that will involve the use of AI, by necessity.  As long as all of this is in the hands of international conglomerates and organized crime, of course it’s going to be an endless fuckpile.  But having a search engine better recognize the intent of my question and give me results that aren’t just based on a few keywords?  I’d love to see it.  And if AI can accelerate the development of new medicines and other improvements to human quality of life?  Motherfuck a luddite trying to “save jobs.”

And of course, I’ve well elucidated my stance on AI art, in articles and comments.  All entertainment industries have been cesspits of abuse and exploitation for well over a hundred years, and as that accelerated into late capitalism, the last twenty-five years have been especially bad.  “Art careers” have been a life ruining-pipe dream for quite a while now, regardless of what a few noisy suckups on the inside tell you, and I eagerly await the collapse of that whole shitshow.

Anyway, do AI art.  It is art.  Use Chat GPT for funsies.  Enjoy life.

—

I’m running a fundraiser through April 21st!  Donate at least $3 and you can suggest a word to me that I will rhyme in a rap.  If I just get a few bucks, this rap will be a text poem.  If I reach $500 I will record myself rapping.  If I reach $600 I will do a short video.  Help cover a medical situation, thanks! –goal met, fundraiser closed.

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Freedom So Dear

Americans know what’s best for themselves.  I don’t know why I have
Particularly contrary epiphanies around this time of year with such
Regularity, but bear with me yet again.  All this time I’d been thinking
I was among the wise ones, getting vaccines, using a mask, all that
Loser kinda shit.  But who was I to stand in the way of nature, and to
Frustrate God’s designs?  We’ve been proven wrong by this plague
Of COVID-19.  Nobody predicted the disease would be able to persist
Over the long term like this, nobody had any wisdom that could have
Left us COVID free.  This was always going to be the outcome and
Satan sez protecting yourself, your country, and your loved ones
— should always be optional.  We can’t do any better than
—— nature and should live like beasts.  Beasts 4 Jesus.
——— Amen.
—

Lil’ Nas X? More like, Lil’ Naw. X.

All I can say is that my life is pretty
plain. I like to watch the puddles gather
rain. That’s the opening lines of a lovely
idyll by Sir Basil Exposition of England.
Life should be about gentle tedium, safe.

Frankly, when people like this Nas X character
open up their mouths and use them to lick devils,
or themselves, through the power of CG satanisms,
licentiousness runs rampant through our society,
sowing the seeds of ruination. I can’t stand it.

–

All is Well

All is well, I’m doing great.  Everybody en mi casa is
Peachy keen. I was sent home from work but they didn’t
Requisition enough equipment so I am cold chillin’.
I’m healthy and relaxed and it radiates from me to
Loved ones. They’re feeling it too.

Fortune has smiled on me and I’m smiling back.
Of course, the good times can only last so long. I’m
Optimistic civilization will remain intact by the time
Logistics are worked out and they call us back in.
Say, this plague ain’t so bad at all.

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Lost Without the Advertisers

Advertisements on Freethought Blogs – we used to have
plenty but now we have none. I used to see them as ugly,
rude, generally an eyesore. That’s to say nothing of the
infections of spyware unleashed by the more dubious
links. I didn’t like them before. But now?

Feeling kind of sad. I miss seeing the clickbait titles.
Obesity panaceas and hot bible prophecies, means for the
old to become young, or at least smooth out their skin.
Losing the ads has been like losing the spice on our blogs –
simply sad. FtB is too boring now. Capitalism save us.

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Capitalism Rocks

At times I wonder if my lefty ways have been a mistake.
Pretty much everybody says that capitalism is the only
route that is concordant with human nature.  You might
imagine that’s just using an Appeal to Nature, so it’s
lightweight thinking.  But it has a deeper truth.

For how can we motivate anyone to do anything without
obstacles to overcome in the form of poverty, and with-
out the rewards of bourgeois creature comforts?  Life is
less meaningful without real travails, without a metric for
success.  That’s what capitalism gives us, and I’m grateful.

–

I’ve Seen the Light Yet Again…

April brings an important holiday or two. You know to
Pay extra attention at the beginning, work on your
Rational thought and skepticism. Also, it brings us
International Down with Cis Day. But you know what?
Listen. I’ve advocated for DwC Day before, wrongly.

For all this time I’ve believed that it was impossible,
Oppressing a privileged group from minority status.
Older now, I realize this is a mistake. Reverse racism
Lives, and heterophobia and cisphobia are real things.
Surely if I can see the light, you can to. #ALM, amen.

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Spring Fashion Confession, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love FtB

All I hear about joining FtB is that I’ve given up my freewill to a Grade A
Poopyhead: PZ Myers. You know what? It’s true. And now I must confess why:
Really, I just like poop on my head. To wear waste as a hat? Simply divine.
I’m kidding though. Of course I’m not wearing fecal fedorae. My fetish is
Larry King costumes. The real reason is because I hate freedom.

FtB’s critics have long seen the truth of this place, but somehow don’t get it.
Of course we’re about Freedom from Thought, but they think that’s a bad thing.
Oh well. Some people just have to waste their time flailing through the world.
Living in a constant turmoil of indecision, when all they need is strong leaders.
Saying and doing only what my thought leader says: This is true happiness.