Satanist, Atheist; Tomayto, Tomahto

The folks at Fox News have been hatin’ on Satan;
The thought of him sickens their good Christian hearts
A statue? in public? And Gretchen was retchin’,
While all of her guests played their usual parts:
“That statue’s offensive! It’s hateful! A state full
Of Christians would never have voted it in!
Majority rules—you don’t like it? Then hike it
To some other state that might tolerate sin!”

Conservative pundits are trying, by lying,
To claim the majority writes all the laws
Their cry “it’s Commandments we follow!” rings hollow:
They always forget the establishment clause
Not wanting to, yet, let them all in, they’re stallin’—
They’ll wait, while this case makes its way through the courts
In the meantime, the Decalogue only, so lonely,
Cries out to be joined by some goat-headed sorts.

Yeah, well, ok, I’m not really happy with this verse, so I’ll post it quick before I just throw it away. It started out as a comment on Gretchen Carlson’s innocent gaffe, then took a detour into the shouting match her guests launched (have you ever noticed how few guests actually answer the questions they’ve been asked? They answer completely different questions instead, loudly and independently of whether anyone else is talking), then into a vague commentary on the whole satanic statue thing. So it needs a good editing… which would kill the meter and rhyme. What ya gonna do?

There is much fodder for hair-pulling at that link, though. Misrepresentation of the Satanists who are proposing to donate the monument (satanists, rather, are the stuff of pulp novels, B movies, and Chick Tracts), “majority rules” being demanded by the Jewish talking-head (who asks “what did goats ever do? I don’t know why they are having to suffer.”… forgetting that his own religion gave us the “scapegoat”), a member of a smaller minority than atheists; Gretchen’s “the rabbi has a good point” after the rabbi’s alleged point disappeared in a haze of shouting…


  1. Trebuchet says

    As far as the religious right are concerned, there’s no difference between an atheist and a satanist. Or a Muslim, or a Buddhist or a Taoist, for that matter. Or even a Catholic or a Mormon. If you ain’t with’em, your agin’em.

    Now that you mention it, however, the monument does look very much like something you’d see in a Chick tract.

  2. brucegee1962 says

    “Their cry “the Commandments we follow!” rings hollow:
    They always forget the establishment clause”

    Did you mean the Commandments or the Consitution? Though of course that would play merry havoc with your meter.

  3. Cuttlefish says

    Definitely meant Commandments, but that is a nasty line. I really need to find a better one. The intent is: they want the Decalogue there not for religious reasons (they say), but for historical ones; our laws are based on the rules on that chunk of granite, independently of religion. But yeah, no.

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