Chris Christy–Model Politician

My eyes are getting misty
As I listen to Chris Christie
While he shows us his sophisti-
Cated grasp of how things are
So he canned some staffer lady
Cos she acted really shady
Which I heard on local radi-
O, while sitting in my car

I’ve been stuck here since September
(When my rage was but an ember)
Now I’m furious, remember-
Ing this traffic jam from hell;
Who’s the scapegoat? Bridget Kelly,
And Chris Christie’s doing swell-he
Showed us all that he can dele-
Gate, and really do it well

Now he’ll finish up his presser
A defiant non-confessor
Though we know he’s an accessor-
Y, a bully, and a jerk
All those vicious lies need quashing:
He’s not bullying, just joshing,
So let’s send the man to Washing-
Ton and let him get to work!

My prediction: All of this will have been forgotten by the short-attention-span public, and do Christie no lasting harm. Besides, who else do the Republicans have?


  1. machintelligence says

    I love the broken word rhymes; they remind me of Tom Lehrer.
    Did Christie ever have a chance at the Republican nomination (or even a vice-presidential slot)? He was seen walking around with president Obama after the hurricane, after all.

  2. Cuttlefish says

    Yeah, that was fun.

    I think yes, actually, especially with mainstream Repubs now trying to keep the Tea Party at arm’s length. It would perhaps depend on how many, and who, republicans run–if it were Christie against a bunch of TP small names, they could split votes among all their rabid backers who refuse to vote for anyone else, and Christie could be the hold-your-nose-and-vote mainstream candidate. Still could be, IMO, but this far out, there are far too many variables in play.

  3. Al Dente says

    The Fort Lee traffic jam may be kept in the public’s mind if a Federal prosecutor convenes a grand jury to investigate what Christie knew and when did he know it.

  4. Trebuchet says

    @1: Rumor has it that Christie had the inside track for Romney’s veep slot until they did some serious vetting and found stuff like this.

  5. Vicki, duly vaccinated tool of the feminist conspiracy says

    I think the attack line here is some variation “Chris Christie–so un-American he hate cars.”


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