God Saves Texas From … What?

“Forty Days To Save America”
Had placed a conference call

Cos a pastor had some news to share
About his favorite pol.

To hear the pastor tell it,
Climatologists are irked
Cos that prayer y’all made fun of?
Here’s the funny thing—it worked.

Perry saved the state of Texas
When he prayed for rain to fall
Simple church and state entanglement
Has rescued one and all!

I say “one and all”, but really,
There’s a long, long way to go—
Is the drought in Texas over?
There’s a simple answer: no.

There are aquifers in trouble
In the South, and in the West
(So it’s clear—Northeastern Texas
Is the part God loves the best)

But it’s better than it once was
So they’re crediting the Guv;
If he hadn’t prayed and fasted
God might not have shown His love.

Lest you think the pastor stupid,
Simply wrong, or off his meds…
He’s distracting our attention
From a bailout by the feds.

[Tuesday] the EPA announced they’re giving more than $57 million in grants to the Texas Water Development Board fund for drinking water. “The funds will be used by the state of Texas to provide loan assistance to eligible water systems for infrastructure improvements needed to ensure safe drinking water is available to Texas residents,” the agency says.

That was Tuesday. Today, we find out that there was no need for federal intervention–Rick Perry’s prayers and fasting are the reason the drought is over… to the extent, that is, that it is over.

It is, absolutely, the case that the drought is less problematic now than it was when Perry held his prayer at the beginning of what is typically the rainy season. It’s similar, I guess, to the success I have achieved when I head to the beach right after low tide and pray for high tide.

Either that, or the puppy sacrifice worked. (perfectly safe and heartwarming story at link)


  1. Anonymous Atheist says

    Stevo – Rick Perry is very Texan. But even if he wasn’t, the fact that millions of misguided Texans have re-re-re-elected him into becoming IIRC the longest-‘serving’ governor in US history, would make him an ‘honorary’ Texan for sure.

    Wiki: “A fifth-generation Texan, Perry was born in Paint Creek, about 60 miles (97 km) north of Abilene in West Texas, to ranchers Joseph Ray Perry and the former Amelia June Holt. Perry’s ancestry is almost entirely English, dating as far back as the original thirteen colonies. His family has been in Texas since before the Texan Revolution.”

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