Buy A Bucket of Yuck, and God Refills for Free!

Oh, Jim Bakker is going a bit nuts with his yuck in a bucket, insisting that everyone buy, and that all those filthy rich people, well, they should buy a million dollars worth, really! Why? Because end times, that’s why, and money will be useless. Of course, ol’ Jim still seems to want piles of that useless stuff.

Guest John Shorey told viewers to stock up on Bakker’s food buckets and not to worry about running out because God will miraculously refill them as needed.

“When you empty a bucket of food,” Shorey said, “trust God to refill it.”

That’s right nifty. Pity Jehovah can’t see fit to just provide food directly, without the need to pour money into Bakker’s pockets. I’m sure they are counting on the rubes not giving this any thought, nor the fact that when the food bucket is empty, it will most certainly stay that way. I will admit, it’s hard to imagine one of them getting emptied in the first place.

When Shorey told those who “have the means to buy 100 buckets of food” to “buy 100 buckets of food” and give them to local churches, Bakker chimed in to urge millionaires to buy as much food as they can afford.

“Do a million dollars worth of food, I’m serious,” Bakker said. “If they’re rich, their money is going [away] anyway, John. It’s not going to be worth anything. The crash is coming, so why not sow it into the Lord?”

Shorey agreed, adding that those who don’t use all their money to buy as much food as they can will have to answer to God.

Right, money is going to be absolutely useless, so why in the name of your psychogod aren’t you giving the stuff away? Wouldn’t that be the ‘godly’ thing to do? Oh, there’s a tonne of irony comin’ up, folks…

“The Bible says that our riches will be a witness against us,” Shorey said. “When the time comes that you’ve left money in the bank that could have been used to help people, to help feed people and all you did is you just kept all your riches for yourself, it will be a witness against you. You will stand before God and he will say, ‘Why didn’t you do more to help the needy?’”

:head goes bang bang bang on the desk: Right. Let’s see your bank books, boys. Then we’ll talk.

Via RWW, there’s video at the link.


  1. Holms says

    “Guest John Shorey told viewers to stock up on Bakker’s food buckets and not to worry about running out because God will miraculously refill them as needed.”

    If true, wouldn’t that suggest each household only needs to purchase a single bucket? Truly, they are not expecting an overabundance of thought amongst the audience.

  2. blf says

    Back in December-2015, NPR’s The Salt tried some of the stuff, Apocalypse Chow: We Tried Televangelist Jim Bakker’s Survival Food (NPR edits in {curly braces}):

    If it’s the future, and the end of the world is nigh, it’s probably safe to assume that things are looking grim. If all you have to eat is the survivalist food you bought from televangelist Jim Bakker in 2015, then your situation may be considerably worse.


    Here at NPR, we tried the creamy potato soup, macaroni elbows and cheese powder and the chicken noodle soup. And of course we had to test the chocolate pudding for dessert.

    Save for the pudding, the dishes were extremely salty and had odd, lingering aftertastes. We couldn’t agree on which was worse — the thick potato soup that felt like eating wet cement, the strong chemical overtones in the chocolate pudding or the disturbing radioactive orange of the macaroni and cheese.


    “It’s awful. It’s trash,” Greg Lauro, a chef who lives and works in Brooklyn, N.Y., tells The Salt.

    In a November video for Sploid, Lauro cooks and taste-tests several dishes from Bakker’s survivalist bucket: Italian marinara, the potato soup, black bean burgers, stroganoff and chocolate pudding.

    Do watch the video. The faces Greg makes when he tries to eat the stuff say it all. And at end, he picks up a spoonful of the potato soup, turns it upside-down, and the blob of “soup” sticks to the spoon. Bakker has discovered anti-gravity soup!

    They taste, [Greg Lauro] says, like, “paper-mache,” “a bathroom at a bar at the end of the night in a college town,” and, simply, “one of the worst things I’ve ever eaten in my life.”

    […] Lauro says he objects to how the product is marketed.

    “It’s off-putting that {Bakker} is trying to sell this stuff on the taste, when it doesn’t look or taste like anything he advertises,” Lauro says. In the photos provided on the front of the bucket and online, for example, the soup has a completely different consistency — brothlike — than the solid, chunky mixture Lauro prepared in his video.


    “If water is even safe to drink in this so-called apocalypse, you’d have to ration it. But when we used the exact amounts we were told, it looked very different from the smooth soup he shows — in a 5-gallon paint jug,” Lauro says. The recipe on the package apparently doesn’t call for enough water for an ideal consistency.


    And, of couirse, Jim Bakker’s Doomsday Survival Gear Is Way Overpriced (May-2012). This article in The Atlantic doesn’t discuss precisely the same wet cement soup, but as the con-man has form, it’s probably also overpriced in addition to not working very well as soup, food, or papier-mâché. Anti-gravity properties also not guaranteed.

  3. blf says

    It occurs to me that (as quoted in the OP) it isn’t said what teh magic sky faeries will refill the bucket with. Considering that one has just managed to force down a considerable amount of something one is now very very anxious to get rid of, quickly, very quickly, the refilling process now seems obvious…

  4. Onamission5 says

    Curious, innit, that the loaves and fishes miracle redux is reliant upon buying Bakker’s slop. I would like the option that I bypass buying buckets of slop and Jesus refills my cabinets with real food as needed, please.

  5. says

    all those filthy rich people, well, they should buy a million dollars worth, really!

    By the way, you can be pretty sure the rich people will have deisel generator-powered freezers full of steak and seafood and pate de foie gras and butter. It’s the way god showers his blessings: the rich are extra-blessed! The rest of the rubes can eat Bakker-chunder and die.

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