Questions For Tonight’s Democratic Debate

As I sit here, just off the coast of Maine, I see politicians, minions, reporters and spin-doctors scurrying around the state of New Hampshire, kissing babies, shaking hands, eating lobster rolls and pancakes, and generally tying up traffic. Having already asked questions of the republicans, I now set my sights on the democrats, and a little bit more seriously (and not in verse, sorry). [Read more…]

Why I Will Not Watch Tuesday’s GOP Debate

They took a pile of dog shit,
And they mushed it in a mound,
Till it stood about two inches tall,
Nine inches wide, and round,
They let it sit a while,
Till it dried a little bit,
And it looked a bit like pastry
(Though it through and through was shit)
Then they covered it with frosting
So it seemed a proper cake—
If you hadn’t paid attention,
And you didn’t know it’s fake—
Then they took the pile of dog shit
And they put it on display
And they said “it looks delicious—
Won’t you try a bite today?” [Read more…]

The Good Guys

The good guys with guns are protecting my homeland;
The good guys with guns keep me safe
The good guys with guns have the media charmed
While the doves and the liberals chafe

The good guys with guns say they have all the answers—
For safety, for strength, they’re the ones
The good guys with guns are our saviors, except…
I’m afraid of the good guys with guns. [Read more…]

The New Colossus (“Mother of Exiles”)

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” [Read more…]

Wanted: Questions For The GOP Debates

The GOP’s seeking suggestions for questions;
They don’t like the ones that reporters might ask
The hopefuls hate people decrying their lying;
They mustn’t expect to be taken to task!
It’s politics, people! It’s ruthless! It’s truthless!
Those fact-focused folks are a pain in the ass
We need to see less confrontation; the nation
Wants leaders like these to be given a pass! [Read more…]