Mormon’s Secret?

As a result of my post about a Mormon couple who drifted away from their religion and their removal of the secret magic underwear as the symbolic last step in leaving the faith, I got a link to a site called Mormon’s Secret, paralleling Victoria’s Secret, that purports to sell sexy versions of Mormon underwear. Intrigued, I followed it up and their catalog is, frankly, limited. As far as I can tell (not being a Mormon myself), the merchandise seems like the genuine thing, that this is a site that, while tongue-in-cheek, sells actual stuff.

To be quite honest, magic Mormon underwear looks like it would be quite constraining and uncomfortable. I cannot believe that Mormons actually wear it all the time, especially in hot weather and when sleeping, however much they believe that it protects them from all dangers.

I wonder if there are high levels of underwear apostasy in the community, though of course it would be hard to determine. The elders could install full-body scanners like those used by the TSA at the entrance to their temples and maybe have random checks of their followers using underwear police.


  1. says

    I read on and off (I grew up in a town with an unusually high Mormon population, including Mitt Romney), and evidently the garments are rather… overengineered. The seams are apparently pretty thick on the ones officially commissioned by the LDS church, so you can sort of see them through a shirt (or feel them with a hug or pat on the back), and translucent blouses are apparently rather common in Utah for women who want to prove they’re part of the in crowd. By all indications, it is not uncommon in the more conservative parts of Utah for non-Mormons to get contraband garments to grease the wheels when doing business with Mormons.

    In conclusion, according to a lot of apostates, Utah Mormons are a little weird even by Mormon standards.

  2. Rod says

    So where does a jockstrap go for an athlete, or a bra? Inside or outside.
    I’d sooner rely on a jock for protection….

  3. 'Tis Himself says

    I once asked a Mormon woman about bras and the magic underwear. They’re worn underneath. I assume the same would be true of jockstraps.

  4. Jabes says

    Hmm. Most women wear their bras over the garments. They’re supposed to be the closest thing to your skin.

  5. barbrykost says

    After learning all you want to know about Mormon underwear, you simply must google “Mormon Porn” It is suitable for work.

  6. Morejello says

    One of my relatively devout but open-to-questions mormon co-workers told me there have different versions for warm or cold weather, and that they can be purchased in different lengths (for wearing with shorts, for example).

  7. Arlen says

    They’re made of blended fabrics, and therefore an abomination unto the Lord. Deuteronomy 22:11.

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