The Wall Street Journal opinion pages have always been garbage, anyway

In case you hadn’t heard already, the WSJ published an appalling bit of nonsense from a Joseph Epstein in which, for some unexplained reason, he decided the important issue of the day is to berate Jill Biden for using the title “Dr.” I know. It’s idiotic. She earned the title, use it. There’s a serious reek of sour grapes here, since Epstein has, at best, a BA. Nothing wrong with that, all of my students graduate with a BA, and I’m proud of them. If you want to see it dissected, with excerpts, here’s the summary for you, complete with summary diagram.

But here’s the deal: among themselves, academics tend not to use fancy titles for each other. We might use them when introducing a colleague to others (but see below), but many of us won’t expect it even with our students, or anyone else for that matter. That goes for all you readers, too — I’d rather you didn’t address me as Dr Myers. That feels weird.

One exception, though: if you try to tell me that you’re not going to call me Dr because I only have a mere biology Ph.D., then for you, I’m going to have to insist on the formality.

Also, these data bring me up short. There’s a tendency for male academics to be more informal with female academics than with their fellow men.

Wow. When women introduce women, they’ll nearly 100% of the time use their title; when men introduce women, it’s down to less than half the time. That’s simple misogyny, diminishing the accomplishments of women, which Epstein has to an extreme degree, but a surprising number of us men also share. I think I tend to get formal when doing formal introductions, so I don’t think I’m guilty of that, but I’ll be more conscious of the problem in the future. I wouldn’t want to Joey Epstein myself, you know. No one wants that.

The Martian Odyssey concludes

The Bolingbrook Babbler has the final episode of our story chain, and it’s epic!

I did the first link in the chain, and I have to apologize to the other authors — I stuffed far too much into the intro, which meant everyone else had to load up even more into theirs, which meant that to have freedom for creative elaboration the whole story just expanded to an intimidating degree. Everyone did great, but I made them all work so hard. We’re bouncing around ideas for future story chains that will be much more light.

The sound of spiders feeding

The campus is dead quiet right now. The parking lot is empty. Offices are all closed. When you walk in, if you’re attentive, you might hear the constant faint hum of the air conditioning system in the science building, but your brain will tune that out after a short while.

The noisiest part of the feeding are the flies. You dump them from their bottle into a plastic cup; it sounds like rain as they tumble in. Then they scurry about frantically with a chitinous rustle, a distant shshshshsh from the cup. You turn to the vials of spiders and uncap them all. There is no sound, no movement. The dead stillness makes you look in and wonder, “are you still alive in there?” You see the motionless plump bodies. They’re in no hurry. Spiders possess infinite patience. It’s in their nature. Rather than wondering if they’re OK, maybe you should be questioning your own lack.

You tap the cup of flies to knock them all down, and open the lid. You flick a few flies into each vial, 1, 2, 3, move to the next. The loudest noise in the process is when a fly drops to the bottom of the vial, tik, tik. Except that when they fall directly into a web, they’re silent…tik, , tik. For a while, you swish flies into all the spider vials, tik, ,tik, tik, , , tik, ,tik, tik, tik.

The sound of spiders feeding is silence. They raise their forelimbs like a pair of daggers, they slip quietly on silk threads to their prey, turn, and knit a prison with their hindlimbs. No noise at all. Flies trying to escape the trap are louder than the spider assassins, and they’re barely a whisper as they scrabble at plastic walls.

I had a pleasant morning in the lab today, if you couldn’t tell.

Republican is a synonym for Traitor

My local state representative, Jeff “Goose Poop” Backer*, was begging Minnesota to join in that ludicrous Texas lawsuit to invalidate the elections in 4 states that didn’t go the way Republicans wanted — you know, the lawsuit that collapsed yesterday.

Below is the letter I sent to our Attorney General stating our support of MN joining the Texas lawsuit. We must protect the integrity of this and all future elections to ensure your constitutional rights are protected. ~ Jeff
“Elections belong to the People.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
**********************************************************
Honorable Attorney General Ellison
I urge you to protect my constituent’s constitutional voting rights by joining the U.S. Supreme Court suit with Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton against defendant states that violated the U.S. Constitution during the 2020 presidential election.
The actions of these states, Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin, have violated the election requirements of the Constitution resulting in an illegitimate vote of the Electoral College.
Again, I urge you to join suit with Texas AG Paxton to protect my Constituent’s constitutional rights. His lawsuit can be found here: https://www.scribd.com/…/TX-v-State-Motion-2020-12-07….
Sincerely
Jeff Backer, State Representative 12A
701-361-1909

I am amused at the Lincoln quote — his goal is to erase the voters in Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. I guess their elections didn’t belong to them. They belonged to the Republican party.

The claim that their position is the constitutional one seems to be a common one among the Trumpers. I don’t get how they can say that about 50 lawsuits that have all been dismissed by multiple courts, some of which were even rejected by a Supreme Court that has been packed with Republican troglodytes?

This episode has revealed once again the motivated reasoning of Republicans. Only votes for their candidates are valid, everyone must march in lockstep behind their choice, even if it’s someone as hateful and incompetent as our soon-to-be ex-president.

*He earned the nickname by opposing legislation to limit agricultural runoff, blaming the poisons polluting our rivers on the fact that we’re on a major migratory flyway. It wasn’t herbicides and pesticides we needed to worry about, it’s all the goose poop! He’s awful.

Another failure for Trump

That Texas lawsuit to invalidate the election results of 4 other states and just give the presidency to Trump? Rejected.

Texas has not demonstrated a judicially cognizable interest in the manner in which another state conducts its elections. All other pending motions are dismissed as moot.

Gosh. How will Texas Republicans react? They suggest that they and 17 other states should form their own union, a Confederacy if you will, and go their own way.

This sure sounds awfully familiar. The last time they tried that, it didn’t turn out so well for Texas.

Also, those 106 “congressman” [sic]? Traitors, every one. Kick them out.

A periodic reminder

It’s that season.

“All right,” said Susan. “I’m not stupid. You’re saying humans need… fantasies to make life bearable.”
REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
“Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—”
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
“So we can believe the big ones?”
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
“They’re not the same at all!”
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME…SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
“Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what’s the point—”
MY POINT EXACTLY.”

― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING. It’s all getting hard to believe, isn’t it?

Death row inmate Brandon Bernard has been executed in Indiana after last-minute clemency pleas were rejected by the US Supreme Court.

Bernard, 40, was convicted of murder in 1999 when he was a teenager, and is the youngest offender to be executed by the federal government in nearly 70 years.

Bernard told the family of the couple he killed he was sorry, before dying by lethal injection on Thursday.

Four more executions are planned before the end of Donald Trump’s presidency.

This administration is rushing to murder as many people as they can before a new administration, that might be slightly more reluctant to murder people (only slightly!), comes to power. It’s very strange. Who are these people who are so eager to kill before someone can tell them “NO!”?

JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING. Interesting fictions.

I am forming the Resistance Against Disney

I am dismayed. You may have heard the announcement of all the brand new content that will be coming to the Disney+ channel — Disney just dumped their entire agenda on everyone all at once — and rather than reacting with glee as most people seem to be doing, I see a desolation.

New shows in the Star Wars universe, including one featuring fan favorite characters Ahsoka Tano, were applauded by fans on social media during the announcement. Three additional Marvel series were revealed as well as a holiday special featuring the cast of “The Guardians of the Galaxy.”

Did no one learn a lesson from the Star Wars Holiday Special? It was only 42 years ago, and we’ve already forgotten the tragedy.

But this is the real horror.

Kareem Daniel, head of the company’s new media and entertainment distribution group, revealed that Disney+ will become home to 10 Marvel series, 10 Star Wars series, 15 Disney live-action, Disney Animation, and Pixar series and 15 Disney live action, Disney Animation, and Pixar films.

In the world of Star Wars, Disney+ will add two new series from Dave Filoni and Jon Favreau, the masterminds behind “The Mandalorian” — “The Rangers of the New Republic” and “Ahsoka.”

There will also be a series called “Lando” that follows the smooth-talking Lando Calrissian from the original trilogy of films as well as a series called “The Acolyte” which takes place during the final days of the High Republic. It has been dubbed a “mystery-thriller.”

These shows will join already announced series “Andor,” “Kenobi,” and the animated series “The Bad Batch.”

Kathleen Kennedy, the head of Lucasfilm, teased fans that Hayden Christensen will reprise his role as Darth Vader in “Kenobi” along with Ewan McGregor in the title role. She also clarified that the series, helmed by Deborah Chow, will take place 10 years after the events of “Revenge of the Sith.”

Oh my god.

Look, I enjoy a good Star War, or an occasional Superhero, and I’m happy for all you Marvel/Star Wars fans. I’m one of you. But this is like sitting down to a banquet and discovering that the gigantic table is covered with pies and gorgeous French pastries and baklava and chocolate and cake and caramel-coated sweetmeats and…no. That’s not right. Too much diversity. The table is covered with pies. Nothing but different kinds of pies.

I like pie, in moderation. A diet of nothing but pie is not good for you, though, and a table full of pies would just make me yearn for a salad. Maybe I’ll indulge in one slice of pie — that “Rogue Squadron” directed by Patty Jenkins is awfully tempting — but I’m actually repulsed by all these sequels and variations on the same old 40+ year old stories. Haven’t the kids done anything interesting lately? Are we to live forever in the reminiscences of boomers? How about something new?

We should also be concerned that this is coming from the Disney empire, which wants to gobble you up and lock you in and tie up intellectual property forever, and has managed to buy up most of the popular entertainment franchises and is well on their way to their goal: One Mouse to rule them all, One Mouse to find them, One Mouse to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. We’re going to be trapped in the house that Mickey built, and we’re going to be fed nothing but pies, sweet delicious pies, forever.

Anyway, I’m not subscribed to Disney+, and I’m not going to. I’m instead hoping that the monopoly will fuel a new pirate renaissance to deliver me a pie now and then, and that there will arise new, savory, healthy menus outside the walled garden of sugar.