Failing upward

Remember Devin Nunes? He’s the guy who sued a parody account, Devin Nunes Cow for $250 million (I’ve seen that number before — it seems to be a standard ridiculous number used in lawsuits by members of the Trump administration.) He lost. As a member of the Trump coven, though, he couldn’t really lose, and he was appointed to be CEO of Truth Social, the absurd far right social media platform our president uses to broadcast “Truths”.

Alas, the poor man is now stepping down from his lofty position. Don’t feel sorry for him, though, because despite the catastrophic financial losses behind Truth Social, Nunes has been cleaning up.

After soaring shortly before Trump’s re-election in November 2024, stock in the company plunged 67%, wiping out more than $6 billion in investor wealth.
…
Since it went public two years ago, Trump Media has lost more than $1.1 billion. Nunes got total compensation of $47 million in 2024, the last year for which figures are available.

$47 million! In one year! For running a non-viable social media platform!

You know, I’m retiring one year from now, and my wife and I are both concerned about the dramatic drop in our income starting in May 2027. My plan right now is to get a cushy sinecure with some large failing company — a job I’m not qualified to handle, but that therefore cannot demand much work from me — and then retire again after a year or so, once I’ve got a few million dollars. I would never ever have any money worries if I had a $47 million nest egg, which would keep me in grand style from now until my inevitable demise.

Does anyone know of any job openings in the overpaid-with-minimal-duties category?

Or do I need to be Republican with connections to the most corrupt administration in American history?

Boomers. Ugh.

I’ve received some spam email promoting an essay. I know I’m being their puppet by mentioning it here, but my god, this thing was stupid and annoying and feeds into stereotypes about my generation, so I’m going to link to it anyway. It’s an article titled I’m 70 and I recently realized my children love me but have no use for me — they don’t want my recipes, my stories, my experience, or my perspective on the life they’re building, and the hardest thing I’ve ever had to accept is that the person who taught them to walk doesn’t get consulted on where they’re going. Yeah, that’s the title, and it gives the entire essay away. I’m already annoyed.

The body of the essay goes on and on in the same vein. Paragraph after paragraph with the same structure as the title, my kids may love me, but they aren’t fawning appreciatively over my old scraps of paper with recipes scrawled on them. I’m pretty sure the author, Marlene Martin, doesn’t actually exist, but is a particularly dull AI that is churning out repetitive garbage that simultaneously feeds the entitled self-righteousness of a class of boomers, and outrage all the non-boomers who see confirmation of their low opinion of old people. Click click click. Just like I did.

The purported author claims to be 70 years old. I have to reassure everyone that I am a youthful 69.

Signpost spider

For years, one of the earliest signs of the spider season is the appearance of spider silk criss-crossing these metal signposts around campus. I rarely see any of the animals making the silk — they tend to hide in the holes that puncture the posts. But today I spotted one hanging out in a visible place! They are spiders in the subfamily Theridiinae, probably in the genus Theridion. I do not know why they favor this one peculiar habitat. These black metal posts get really hot in the sun, so these spiders must like it hot.

They have quite pretty patterns on their abdomens.

A sad anniversary

Today marks the 10th anniversary of Prince’s death. I love that guy’s music, and I’m going to be playing his music nonstop today.

This one tells me he really was a Minnesotan.

My favorite, though, is Raspberry Beret. That one takes me back to being 19 and taking my girl on drives through farm country — not in Minnesota, but the music is universal. I was a fan before I moved to this state!

Lately, I’ve been setting summertime goals for myself. I know I’m probably going to be laid up with knee surgery for a while (I hope I can get these wobbly aching knees fixed!), and I’m going to get through it with some dreams. One is to get up to the Boundary Waters before the Republicans destroy them, and go spidering in the woods. Another is to visit Paisley Park. I’ve driven by it many times, this summer I’m going to get off the damn freeway and take the tour.

Mother of spiders!

Show me a 500 million year old chelicerate, and I’ll be happy for a day. Look at this beauty, Megachelicerax cousteaui, excavated from a Utah fossil bed.

Anatomic reconstructions of the dorsal (left) and ventral (right) morphologies. b, Artistic reconstructions by M. Hattori illustrating oblique views of the dorsal (top) and ventral (bottom) morphologies. The sanctacaridid-like morphology of the posteriormost body region is speculative. gi, gill (that is, a set of gill lamellae); te, telson.

Pretty cool, right? The best part of it is that pair of appendages at the very front of the animal — those are chelicerae, the biting/chomping/chewing/venom-injecting bits of a modern spider, that make them distinct from insects, which only have antennae at that end. That makes this the oldest known chelicerate ever discovered. It was a swimming marine animal, and doesn’t have the legs we associate with spiders — chelicerae evolved first, legs much later.

Also, this isn’t just the mother of spiders, but is also the mother of a huge family of cousins: horseshoe crabs, eurypterids, as well as spiders.

Megachelicerax documents the oldest stratigraphic occurrence of chelicerae (that is, uniramous, unichelate deutocerebral appendages) and bridges the simple body and limb organization of Cambrian megacheirans with the more derived anatomy of post-Cambrian synziphosurines and crown-group chelicerates. a, Simplified consensus topology based on Bayesian analysis (Mk model, 4 chains, 5,000,000 generations, 1/1,000 sampling resulting in 5,000 samples with 25% burn-in resulting in 3,750 samples retained); detailed results and comparison with parsimony provided in Extended Data Fig. 6. The numbers in parentheses correspond to the total number of podomeres and the number of chelae, respectively, present in the deutocerebral appendage. Taxa whose names are in bold font are illustrated in b–l. b–l, The morphology of the anterior body region in select taxa. b, Fuxianhuiid Chengjiangocaris kunmingensis (Cambrian, Stage 3). c, Artiopod Olenoides serratus (Cambrian, Wuliuan). d, Megacheiran Yohoia tenuis (Cambrian, Wuliuan). e, Megacheiran Haikoucaris ercaensis (Cambrian, Stage 3). f, Megacheiran Leanchoilia superlata (Cambrian, Wuliuan). g, Mollisoniid M. plenovenatrix (Cambrian, Wuliuan). h, Habeliid Habelia optata (Cambrian, Wuliuan). i, M. cousteaui (Cambrian, Drumian). j, Synziphosurine Dibasterium durgae (Silurian, Wenlock). k, Xiphosurid Limulus polyphemus (recent). l, Eurypterid Slimonia acuminata (Silurian, Llandovery–Wenlock).

That is one wildly successful tree. It just goes to show that you can go on to do great things even if your face looks like a nest of spiky clawed jointed tentacles.

Rudy Lerosey-Aubril, Javier Ortega-Hernández. A chelicera-bearing arthropod reveals the Cambrian origin of chelicerates. Nature, 2026; DOI: 10.1038/s41586-026-10284-2

Texas FAFO

Someone on TikTok pointed out there are more kids in Texas with measles than trans college athletes in all of America.
Guess which they want you focused on?

Texas has been playing games with their universities.

Earlier this month, Texas Tech chancellor Brandon Creighton announced plans to close all gender and sexuality programs across the system and prohibit graduate students from researching the topics. Texas A&M similarly closed its women’s and gender studies program in January. The University of Texas ordered faculty in February to refrain from teaching ill-defined “controversial” topics in class. Nearly all Texas public university systems have conducted some kind of course-review process that screens instructional materials for gender and sexuality content.

This means weird conservative administrators with no relevant experience are meddling in the content of courses…courses they would not be qualified to teach, but hey, they’ve got rubber stamps and spreadsheets, that’s all the power they need. They’re now discovering the consequences.

Texas A&M philosophy professor Martin Peterson is leaving the university after administrators told him in January that he couldn’t teach Plato’s Symposium in his philosophy class; they said the ancient Greek philosopher’s work violated the system’s restrictions on gender and sexuality content. Peterson’s colleague Linda Raznik, a philosophy professor and associate department head, is jumping ship with similar concerns about academic freedom. Lucy Schiller, a nonfiction writing professor at Texas Tech University, also has plans to leave her job.

They are just a few of the faculty members giving up their jobs at Texas public institutions as the systems deploy escalating censorship policies that restrict or explicitly ban any instruction, writing, research or discussion on gender identity and sexual orientation.

It’s almost as if they intend to demolish all of Texas higher education. Fortunately, I am no longer in the market for a job, because I wouldn’t ever consider working as an academic in Texas. I also wouldn’t encourage any students to enroll in a Texas school anymore — you don’t know where your university will be in a few years.

Texans deserve better.

“Viewpoint diversity” is a misleading way to say “conservative welfare”

Viewpoint diversity is how you get the unqualified wife of a corrupt wrestling promoter put in charge of the department of education

Harvard is suddenly more concerned with campus diversity, but specifically diversity that benefits wealthy conservatives. They’ve started a campaign asking for ten million dollar endowments.

The effort comes in response to longstanding criticism that Harvard’s faculty leans overwhelmingly liberal. Those concerns intensified last year, when U.S. President Donald Trump elevated the issue as part of a broader pressure campaign against the University.

In the now-infamous April 2025 letter, federal officials called for an audit of Harvard’s faculty to assess “viewpoint diversity” and demanded it hire a “critical mass” of new professors in departments deemed lacking. Garber rejected the Trump administration’s ultimatum, but the scrutiny has persisted.

This is nuts. Asking people to donate millions of dollars is not going to enhance diversity — that is a campaign that is only going to draw on a donor population that is going to be biased to favor extreme wealth, and is going to be populated with conservative, entitled people. Harvard is basically inviting people to buy professors to fill their faculty, at the urging of Donald Trump.

Making it even worse, they plan to set up these faculty in a special category that will be hired by the university, with 20 or 30 professors who will be selected for “viewpoint”, rather than their qualifications in their field, and that they will then be inserted into departments that don’t have the political perspective the administration desires.

I’m at a small university, and I find it hard to imagine an administration so flush that they can declare they’re going to hire a swarm of new people. But imagine if my U announced that they were hiring one or two people based on their political bias, and then they decide that there were too many people in the biology discipline who were Democrats, so we would get those new faculty without regard for the academic/curricular needs of our biology program.

Every college department can use more faculty, and offering us new hires would be wonderful, but WE know what our specific discipline needs to implement our curriculum, while the administration generally has only the vaguest of clues, and what they do know is what we tell them. I think the faculty would be horrified if we were suddenly saddled with a new face whose primary qualification is that they are Republican. This is a violation of the principle that we do not hire people on the basis of aspects of their life that are irrelevant to doing their job. We are specifically instructed that we can’t ask job candidates about their politics, their religion, their sexuality, their marital status, and on and on. “Viewpoint diversity” explicitly violates a policy implemented to remove bias from the hiring process.

It is true that that has led to more liberal viewpoints filling our ranks, but that’s because reality has a well-known liberal bias. One of the hallmarks of the conservative perspective is that it tries to deny reality in favor of prior preconceptions, and resist change. Maybe we shouldn’t put representatives of a political philosophy that despises education into the professoriate, did you ever consider that, Harvard?

Screaming for joy?

I can relate to this National Park Service message.

Our favorite part of spring is walking into spider webs and screaming every time. What’s yours?

I wish. I haven’t seen any webs yet, although I have spotted some individual strands of silk. Warm weather is coming, though!

My poor spiders

I’m up early, I look out the window, and what do I see? Snow.

It has been warm and pleasant, except for the last few days, which have been chilly and windy. I was starting to see spiders around the yard again, but now — they’re probably huddled deep in crevices and whatever shelter they can find, waiting out this doggedly persistent winter.

They won’t have long to wait. The forecast is for 31°C on Wednesday.