Hang it up, Steve Shives

Shives does this weekly YouTube satire called The Whirlpool, which mocks a certain Catholic fanatic who has a show called The Vortex. Alas, the satire doesn’t even come close to the batshit ravings of Michael Voris. Watch in wonder.

He is, in all seriousness, comparing Donald Trump to the Emperor Constantine. Like Constantine, Trump is “already emperor”, so all he has to do now is convert to Catholicism, and the Queen of Heaven (and her son, Jesus) will shower blessings and glory down upon the United States of America. So this is what you get when you combine the fanaticism of militant Catholicism with the dumbassery of MAGA zealots. Hold me, Mommy, I’m scared.

I’m sorry, Shives, you just aren’t freaky enough.


  1. Paolo says

    Constantine was also the guy who murdered his father in law, two brothers in law, his second wife (daughter and sister to two of the previous victims) and his firstborn son. It doesn’t bode very well for Trump’s family, isn’t it ?

  2. Akira MacKenzie says

    “Catholics get on well with tyranny. It’s in the culture.”

    ― Richard K. Morgan,
    Altered Carbon.

  3. jrkrideau says

    He is an impressive speaker. All through that rant, there was not a hint that he is stark raving mad.

  4. R. L. Foster says

    I forced myself to watch this. So many thoughts. So many questions. But I am part of the ‘demon possessed masses’, so what do I know? I shall forever live in darkness, I guess.

    I broke out laughing when Voris tells Trump that he doesn’t really need to understand Catholicism to become a Catholic. I think that statement speaks for itself. I doubt that most Catholics truly understand what they’re being told. Ignorance helps a lot when you’re being promised eternal life.

    Voris must have quite a high opinion of himself. Does he really expect Trump to break away from Fox and OANN to listen to his drivel?

  5. says

    Voris is a true miracle-monger. Catholics are about 22% of the US population. Even if they voted as a solid bloc (and they don’t), a conversion to Catholicism by the president would not guarantee his re-election. In fact, it would turn off at least as many Protestants as it would delight Catholics. But Voris thinks it would generate a miraculous intervention by heavenly powers that would sweep the president to victory. He really is that crazy and that much of a true believer.

  6. unclefrogy says

    that 20% is their claim Is that number verified by any independent research?
    religion = delusional thinking
    uncle frogy

  7. Erp says

    Pew Forum has 20.8% identify as Catholic in the last Religious Landscape survey. Note there is a division between White non-Hispanic Catholics (60%) who in the last presidential election mostly supported Trump and non-White or Hispanic Catholics (40%) who mostly did not. The latter group tends to be poorer and many are recent immigrants, sometimes undocumented. Overall the Catholic slice of the US has been constant for a while but only because of immigration.

  8. dianne says

    At first I read the second paragraph as starting with, “…comparing Trump to the Emperor Palatine.” Which would still be giving Trump too much credit.

  9. Saad says

    I actually had to go look at the comments to confirm that it wasn’t satire.

  10. kingoftown says

    Saint Peter’s successor, the infallible Bishop of Rome, doesn’t seem entirely keen on Trump. I wonder how this guy justifies that in his head.

  11. numerobis says

    Conservative Catholics hate Francis.

    One guy I know converted to Russian Orthodox over it.

  12. anchor says

    Some things don’t deserve the dignity of critique or doesn’t need a more careful look, no matter how well its dressed up. Sometimes crap is just crap. It still stinks.

  13. Larry says

    To convert from one religion to another, doesn’t one actually have to be part of that first religion?

  14. says

    As a practicing Catholic, I will stifle most of my reactions to this idiotic, horrific, disgusting video, and offer just one thought:

    The video urges Trump to pray the Rosary with his current wife. I would pay serious money for a video of Trump, on his knees, praying the entire Rosary. I doubt he could memorize the wording of the prayers, and I know he wouldn’t have the patience to actually do the whole Rosary. But it would be amazing to see him even try. ;-)

  15. StonedRanger says

    Three minutes and fifty eight seconds of my life gone forever. Im 65 and simply cannot afford to waste that much time on whatever the fuck that was.

  16. Rich Woods says

    I made it to 2:03 before turning the air blue and punching the Stop button. Total fuckwit. Don’t these pillocks ever listen to themselves?

  17. blf says

    @23, Dump him into the Total Perspective Vortex!

    Hair furor or this Steve Shives nitwit?