Scalzi exposed

If you think you can handle the truth, you should go listen to this song about how awful John Scalzi is. I can vouch for one disclosure in the song from personal experience: he will eat all your french fries. I went out to dinner with him once, and not a single fry passed my lips. I’m pretty sure it was all his fault.

It was a good sushi place, though, so I can say that in his favor.


  1. says

    He really is an awful person. I mean, look at his evil SJW plot to do something awful, and somehow ruin science fiction by declining nominations of his 2015 work for awards, forcing people to choose other works. Truly despicable.

  2. Al Dente says

    No one has sushi with french fries. You need mashed potatoes for your sushi. Baked acorn squash is also acceptable.

  3. magistramarla says

    With sushi one needs a bowl of miso soup, sunomono with smoked squid, and a good bottle of sake to share, but that’s just me.

  4. Hatchetfish says

    I took that to be the joke, Nerd. As in it was a sushi place, so no fries to be had, and “not a single fry passed my lips” is true but irrelevant to whether Scalzi steals them. (And yet if he chose the restaurant it was “all his fault”.) Or maybe my brain is just attuned to finding legalistic logic funny and I misinterpreted it. I sometimes laugh at alternate interpretations or implications of ad copy, so I know I’m odd this way.

  5. chigau (違う) says

    Any decent izakaya will serve you fried potatoes and sushi.
    and beer and kara-age and eda mame and beer and yaki-tori and yaki-reba and beer and and and

  6. says


    I went out to dinner with him once, and not a single fry passed my lips. I’m pretty sure it was all his fault.

    Now, since that’s the exact same experience I had going out to lunch wit you, I can only conclude that you’re actually the same person!

  7. says

    Anyone who hasn’t had enough after the Doubleclicks’ ditty should consult one of the earlier posts on Scalzi’s blog where the idea for a song was hatched, and a very inventive commenter invented another filk (sans music, which is Tom Smith’s “Smash the Frickin’ Fairies”) in similar vein:

    (That’s also the post where you can listen to Scalzi narrating Alexandra Erin’s parody of a turgid little e-book by V*x D*y.)

  8. Scott Simmons says

    “Just made of bugs,” I think it is. That’s how it shows in the new subtitle to his blog, anyway.

    I can’t figure out why that line makes me laugh until I cry, but it does.

  9. voidhawk says

    I’ve literally just started reading ‘Redshirts’ today and I groaned when I saw the title to this piece.
    “Not another person in the Sci-Fi community being slimy?” Thought I.

    Fortunately, my groan was in vain.