How to end religious strife

Give all the fundamentalist Christians a copy of Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ, then sit back and wait for them to kill each other. I’m amused that the article calls it a “theological argument”: the guy gets upset at the movie, sees his wife, calls her evil, and tries to strangle her. Yep, that’s a “theological argument” in a nutshell.

(via Andrew Brown)


  1. Dave Godfrey says

    Aha, evidence that violent videos cause violence in the watcher. But only if you’re a middle aged fundie.

  2. Jeff says

    If anyone doubts that religion can seriously make you complete and utterly delusional and disconnected with reality they must read that article.

  3. spencer says

    What did she mean when she said she was “anointed by God?” The way I read it, it implies that she thinks she’s somehow different from run-of-the-mill Christians like her husband.

  4. Magnus says

    “What the heck’s the “God Channel”?”

    You can only watch it if you really really believe. It’s frequencies are only accessible to christians who accept the thruth of God and his presence in the television set. Anyone who does not have faith will be blind to the word of God in the tube and will only experience white noise.

    Oh, and you need to have cable too.

  5. says

    Similarly, the rift in the Episcopal Church in the US, stemming from the appointment of a gay bishop, is being called a “theological disagreement”. Cow chunks. It’s an administrative issue, not a theological one.

    In this case, it’s not theology; it’s insanity.

    Of course, there’s but a fine line ‘tween.

  6. says

    Don’t you have a God channel where you’re at? I’ve got at least three. It could be that they’re just using it as a generic term — I call them God channels myself, except for one, which I call the Angry Nun Channel — but I believe there is one in particular that is actually called The God Channel.

    Don’t know why he needs a whole channel (let alone several.) That dude hasn’t published a thing in two thousand years.

  7. says

    Theological disagreements (over points of doctrine) have been causing Christians to kill each other for the past 1,800 years or so. It has something to do with love, I’m told.

  8. James says

    I suspect that when they say they are “anointed by God” they are followers of Calvinism or some somesuch (like Dembski, I recall).

  9. PiGuy says

    You can only watch it if you really really believe. It’s frequencies are only accessible to christians who accept the thruth of God and his presence in the television set.

    And I thought that the Cthulu Channel was just part of my basic cable plan.

    That dude hasn’t published a thing in two thousand years.

    *chuckle* I guess that tenure can make one omni-complacent.

  10. Bobryuu says

    What was the argument even about? I got no sense of it from the article.

    Was it merely over how violently Jesus was treated by the Jews and the Romans? I think Mel Gibson did a good job of portraying what the myth said happened.

  11. George says

    P.o.C. II: The Passion of Michael Watson.

    I hope they are making up now and enjoying all the attention. The court should have cut off their cable access to the God channels and ordered some Carl Sagan piped in.

    Carl: “beellions and beellions.”

    Michael: “oh, honey, let’s go upstairs…”

  12. says

    I think the wife should have said “Stop… your hands are dirty” and the resulting upwelling of guilt would have stopped her husband’s assault and compelled him to take a long shower.

    Sorry that was a bad Star Wars pun.

  13. Amy says

    Theological argument? Sounds more like a drunken brawl.

    I remember hearing a similar conversation between a cop and the owner of a small gas station a few years ago. The cop walked in to get some coffee and complained about how busy he was with domestics. The station owner said, “On Easter?” Turns out spouses tend to brawl about where they are going to have Easter dinner, what they are going to eat, who is going to cook it, and (this particular year), about whether or not to watch ‘The Passion’.

  14. Bob O'H says

    I’n tempted to email Northumberland Police and demand that they arrest this Devil fellow: he seems to incite a lot of trouble.


  15. says

    From the article:

    Watson told the police that everything his wife said about him must be true because she never lied.

    Astounding. The depth of ignorance here is genuinely impressive. I’d jump all over it but there’s no point. I can’t possibly add anything to it beyond the statement above.

  16. Torbjörn Larsson says

    It is impossible to make general rules from an isolated case. But one can speculate.

    The way to bet is that separation and behaviour therapy is needed for at least the perpetrator of violence, or it will happen again.

    Maybe this is one reason why separation is said to be more common among christian couples – they have something shared that they have invested hugely emotionally in besides their marriage?

    And here I thought it was just religiously created naiveté, typically marrying young, and feeling a greater peer pressure to show happiness and stay together…

  17. JJP says

    Maybe one of them wanted to have an S&M session (hence the film as a warm-up) and it all got out of control – rough fucking taken too far :)

    Those religious types are always the most twisted.

  18. Stogoe says

    Steve_C, after reading about how Ed Brayton thinks everyone’s stupider than him, I have to try to be nicer to booga boos. So I’m going to tell you that I think religion preys on the ignorant and keeps them ignorant, down through the generations, rather than making people ignorant. Perhaps some small seed of reason can find purchase in a few, but these few are still full of ignorance (and candy!)

  19. says

    Another thing that we can speculate, Torbjörn, in addition to the good points that you raise, is this:

    “Sin” and “redemption” (spouse-battering/making up) in addition to being “vicious circle” behaviors that feed each other, also make good media squeaky-wheel stories, and get the public’s attention, whereas the relatively low divorce rate among atheists does not. Just as people “finding God” in prison get the media attention, whereas the miniscule number of atheists in prison, relative to their numbers in society, does not.

    Hey, any reporters out there want to report on that?

  20. Molly, NYC says

    Amanda Marcotte has a good post about American fundamentalism; among other things, how it’s morphed over the last few decades from semi-independence into nothing more than a subsidiary of the Republican party.

    Don’t know about y’all, but that pretty much shadows my own change of attitude towards fundies over the same time–from the accord I used to give to basically decent people with whom I simply disagreed on many things, to the contempt reserved for people who’d screw “people like me,” or my friends, for the self-righteous pleasure of it with no concept of having done anyone wrong.

  21. Buffy says

    This is good stuff.

    Blast those Christains

    Comment over at Kansas Citzens for Science and tell em as often as possible what pieces of S… Theists are

  22. QrazyQat says

    Meanwhile in LA, the SWAT team was called out to a pitched battle between rival crack sellers, which turns out to have been caused by a heated philosophical discussion about Eternal Verities, with one faction holding to the Augustinian view and others insisting on a Jungian viewpoint. One participant claimed “It was okay until Ape Dogg brought up Voltaire, then it all went to hell… as you might expect.”

  23. Erik says

    Well, I wouldn’t say those two wackos are representative of religious people. I just find the idea of planning a “lovely evening” watching The Passion of the Christ to be hilarious. Nice dinner, a little wine, and spending some time together watching a man get tortured and executed. What could be more lovely?

  24. lister says

    Gibson’s movie is the most successful snuff film using a major religious icon that has ever been conceived and made.

  25. Colin says

    …It was okay until Ape Dogg brought up Voltaire, then it all went to hell… as you might expect.

    oh my dog, that was hilarious QrazyQat. I had a bit of wit germinating but this really beats it hands down.

    On a less humorous note (or should I say humourous?), this couple — especially the guy — could use some real therapy if they are going to attempt reconciliation. I hope they opt for more then just a chat with their local priest — sadly, they probably won’t.

  26. ajay says

    The God Channel?

    “There was a cross by the side of the road, with big television sets nailed to it, from just before they got real big and flat. It said TUNE IN on the crossbar and TO HIS IMMORTAL DOWNLINK on the upright.”

    “He’s in the de-tails,” Sublett said. “You got to watch for him real close.”