A visit from jolly old St. Poe!


Readers with memories longer than my own may recall my post a few weeks ago, in which I proffered a flawless, airtight, exquisitely logicked explanation as to why President Dickhead ordered only 100 million COVID vaccines for a country of 331 million people, and then I dared readers who disagreed with my hypothesis to – and I quote – “fight me.”

And fight me some did! Tho I swear, at the time of this bloody savagery, I had already come up with even MOAR flawless, airtight, exquisitely logicked explanations with which to BURY ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. (In the sweetest, gentlest, most loving and respectful way possible of course, unless you explicitly and enthusiastically consent to liking it rough, and provide a safeword.)

But then a couple things happened. First, I got distracted. Not like oooh!-look!-shiny!-distracted. More like… overwhelmed with medical issues you would not want to hear about (and related calls and conferences you would not want to hear about either), and getting swept up in certain holiday-oriented rituals and festivities including incredibly foolish undertakings of my own (un)doing that sure seemed like super easy and fun ideas at the time haha and yet remain unfinished to this day and now require both international shipping (to New Jersey) AND specialized superpowers which alas, are among those I do not possess.

And second, I remembered something very important about Death to Squirrels. And that is, unless you agree with me, YOU ARE WRONG BECAUSE THAT’S HOW THIS BLOG WORKS.*

So that should have been the end of it, right? I mean, unless and until one of us again finds it mildly amusing to speculate – to the death! – on the exact nature of President Dickhead’s neural misfirings.

But not so fast! For in the wee hours of this very morn, at 3:29am local/EST to be precise, we were gifted with a new and… distinctive contribution to our epic battlethread. It purports to originate from one heretofore unheard of “Christina richards,” and is copied-&-pasted here, unedited, and in its entirety, from my unapproved comments feed because (a) I kinda want to know whether Christina richards is for real or not and I honestly cannot tell, and (b) either way, it’s fucking hilarious:

Trump is pure evil just as this death serum is. You would have to be very stupid to allow any government (All Pedos murderers and Satanists) to shove a nano infected Q-tip into your brain via your nose. Military figured out about 15 years ago the best way to Vaccinate (Not test) is through your nose. These nanos then attach to your Vagus nerve (Vagus nerve
The vagus nerve, historically cited as the pneumogastric nerve, is the tenth cranial nerve or CN X, and interfaces with the parasympathetic control of the heart, lungs, and digestive tract. The vagus nerves are normally referred to in the singular) How can people be sooo blind and dumb? Trump is in lock step with the NWO. ” WE WILL OWN NOTHING AND LOVE IT!” So says Klaus Swhab head of World Economic Forum. He would know!

laugh cry emojiRarely have we seen such a sublime specimen of late-stage conservatism or superb mockery thereof!

Classic hallmarks:

  • Alarmed tone coupled with general incoherence regarding source of alarm.
  • Inconsistent capitalization, punctuation and other indications of poor editing/proofreading.
  • References to New World Order, World Economic Forum, Military shenanigans, etc.
  • An inexplicable quote attributed to someone I never heard of.
  • Incomplete copypasta of dubious relevance. (My fave: “The vagus nerves are normally referred to in the singular”. Oh okay, good to know. I’ll be sure to refer to vagus nerves in the singular during all our further discussions of these important matters so as not to give myself away as someone who has absolutely no fucking idea what the fuck I am talking about. LOL.)

But this invention is pure gold:

NANO-INFESTED PURE EVIL DEATH SERUM!

And all I want to know is: where can I get some? I may not understand any of it, but this all sounds very promising for either ridding the planet of squirrels once and for all, or a seriously kicking New Years Eve!

I do have a purported email and IP address for Christina richards. It might be a throwaway/VPN, but then again it might be a fun exercise to write back to Christina richards right on the blog. I certainly have questions, observations and opinions I’d like to relay – do you?

____________
*It says so right there under Section XII(D)(iv)(e) of the official Death to Squirrels Manual of Laws, Rules and Expected Conduct, which all of you were sent, and returned the signed, witnessed and notarized agreement to be bound by same, in perpetuity, before you were ever permitted to comment here. (I kid, of course. I actually love when I am shown to be wrong, because I love to learn new things. See Section XII(D)(iv)(f).)

Comments

  1. says

    Since vagus nerve stimulation can dangerously slow the heart rate, I do not think attaching anything to it en masse could be done without people noticing. Surely the huge amount of people who collapsed and died within minutes as a result of the procedure would not go unnoticed?
    But I have lost my tinfoil hat so I have trouble deciphering how these people think. Or, more accurately, what process is going on in their heads instead of thinking.

  2. StonedRanger says

    ‘nano infected Q-tip into your brain via the nose.’ What kind of tin foil hatted quackery is this? Has this person never seen the movie Fantastic Voyage? Everyone knows you inject nano stuff into the brain by injecting them into the blood stream and let them flow right into the brain directly. I can only scoff at the deluded crackpot who thinks otherwise. Q-tip indeed.

  3. Pierce R. Butler says

    C’mon now, a quickie search for Klaus “Shwab” produces hours of paranoid fun for the whole family:

    Klaus Schwab – The New Karl Marx Destined to Kill Hundreds … Klaus Schwab is a child of Adolf Hitler’s Germany, a police-state regime built on fear and violence, on brainwashing and control, on propaganda and lies, on industrialism and eugenics, on dehumanisation and “disinfection”, on a chilling and grandiose vision of a “new order” that would last a thousand years. … Globalist Klaus Schwab made it clear that transhumanism is an integral part of “The Great Reset” when he said that the fourth industrial revolution would “lead to a fusion of our physical, digital and biological identity,” … globalist Klaus Schwab asserts that the world will “never” return to normal, despite him admitting that coronavirus “doesn’t pose a new existential threat.” … Klaus Schwab is the new Karl Marx. This is the greatest organized conspiracy in human history and the press is welcoming it with open arms. You will own nothing in 10 years, but you will also have no rights. …

  4. says

    Charly:

    Surely the huge amount of people who collapsed and died within minutes as a result of the procedure would not go unnoticed?

    Hard to say. Could it be that the NANO-INFESTED PURE EVIL DEATH SERUM causes amnesia with regard to the excess body count?

    StonedRanger:

    Everyone knows you inject nano stuff into the brain by injecting them into the blood stream and let them flow right into the brain directly.

    Nuh-uh! Not when you can just get any old pedophilic homicidal satan-worshipping government employee to “shove a nano infected Q-tip into your brain via your nose”! To be fair, Fantastic Voyage was made long before this portentous discovery was made by the Military, approximately fifteen years ago, give-or-take.

    Pierce R. Butler: Oh, that Klaus Schwab! Now it all makes perfect sense! Except…he kinda sounds like that Ray Kurzweil kook PZ used to write about… and also I kinda dig Karl Marx but agree he could use some improvement, so maybe this new model is better?

    So many questions for Christina richards!

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