Jake Paul has inspired me. He’s this terrible YouTuber who made a lot of money with stupid prank videos aimed at kids who then bought his way into a boxing “career”, where he paid washed-up boxers to fight him, but not too hard. His last big match, he had his jaw shattered by his opponent. So now he’s talking about going to Stanford to get some football experience (hint: that’s not why you go to Stanford) or going straight to the pros, the Cleveland Browns or the Dallas Cowboys. He’s out of his mind. He dropped out of high school, so forget Stanford. Football is a tough sport, especially pro football, and he hasn’t trained for the skills you need to play the game. He is so incredibly delusional.
But then…he gets specific and says he wants to play “slot receiver”, whatever that is. And Rick Strom lets us know that the expected weight range for that position is 190-205 pounds.
Wait a minute. I’m in that weight range. I’m going to be looking for something to do in the Spring, maybe that’s a retirement option for me. It’s no more insane that a 70 year old man (with 80 year old knees) might try to turn pro football slot receiver than that Jake Paul might go for it.
One difference: my top choice would be the Seattle Seahawks, with the Minnesota Vikings as backup possibility. Call me, team.
Professional sports are weird to me in general. I cringe a bit whenever a kid decides to make the big leagues their primary aspiration (give it a shot, but please stay in school and explore other options), but this is weirder to me.
Well, just for the record the slot receiver lines up in the gap between the tackle and the split end. Although they can run any sort of route, they typically specialize in catching slant passes in traffic, and holding on to the ball while they get clobbered. Basically they’re very tough guys who are relatively small for football. During their glory years the Patriots always had one of those tough “little” guys — Troy Brown, Wes Welker, Julian Edelman. So anyway no, this clown would be dead the first time he touched the ball.
I’ve never heard of a “slot receiver.” It sounds like the part of a slot-machine that receives money from gamblers.
Either way, this is a hell of a step down for the guy who beat Mike Tyson. Did he really come down that far? Or was Mike Tyson that lame in his last fight?
“between the tackle and the split end”…I don’t know where either of those positions are located, so that didn’t help. My father was a center in high school football, and that’s the limit of my knowledge.
I could learn, though, when I start with the Seahawks.
Okay, the rules of football are that the offense needs to have seven players lined up on the line of scrimmage at the start of the play. The two on the ends are eligible to catch a pass or take a handoff, but the five in the middle are not. The other four players, including the quarterback, have to line up at least a yard behind the line of scrimmage, and they are eligible. The two players beside the center are called guards, the two players outside of them are called tackles. All five normally line up right next to each other. If and end lines up right next to the tackle, he’s called a tight end, and he usually has blocking responsibilities but he’s also allowed to catch passes. If he lines up some distance away, he’s called a split end, and he is normally listed as a wide receiver. That creates the “slot.” The slot receiver is also called a wide receiver, he just isn’t as wide.
Richard Sherman went to Stanford and he was one hell of a shutdown corner in the Seahawks infamous Legion of Boom! He wound up being a little bit of a mess in his personal life.
Christian McCaffrey, John Elway, and Jim Plunkett also went to Stanford, just not at the same time.
Maybe not as well known for producing talent for the NFL as other schools.
@5 …
The slot receiver lines up a yard or two behind the line; so as far as the rules go, he is a back, and not on the line. That is how both he and the wide end can be pass-eligible.
In addition to being tough, a slot receiver should also be not slow, and able to catch the ball. Paul doesn’t have anything on his resume to establish these abilities.
diagram
C = center
G = guard
T = tackle
R = receiver
I’m sure he’ll make a fine president one day /s
I’ve just been told that there’s a fix for that on the cosmetics aisle.
It’s not as if Stanford deserves any more breaks given their position as one of the top universities in the world and having an endowment that rivals Elon Musk’s bank vault.
“slot receiver” sounds devilishly rude. Are you sure it’s not a sex thing?
PZ probably remembers Warren Moon. Moon played Canadian football for a while, but wound up with the Houston Oilers QBing in a “run and shoot” style offense which used “slotbacks”. Not sure how they differ from slot receivers, but the idea was to throw as many receivers at the defense as possible. That’s how I view the slot, though more recent offenses moved beyond the run and shoot.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Run_and_shoot_offense
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slotback
PZ, don’t go into footbrawl. If you do, will your body to science so they can see if you suffered horrendous brain injuries like many of the players do. You’re a vegetarian, not a vegetable.
Emperor Hudson’s, very risque parody L.A. radio show in the late 1960s talked about the famous football player ‘Bruiser LaRue’ who started out as a tight end but ended up a wide receiver. Back then, publicly, they were clever, but not very sensitive when talking about gay people.
Finally getting around to watching the video, Jake Paul in his unattainable aspirations reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite’s brother wanting to be a cage fighter.
Did like the Mos Def cover on the shelf. Maybe Jake Paul will next aspire to be the next Rakim or Mos Def…NOT!!!
Not as bad as the Mets actually paying Tim Tebow 100 grand to wash out of minor league baseball.
Maybe — maybe — you can be more delusional than this, well, twerp. This one, however, is far beyond any ambition.
Paul only broke a jaw, and it was his own, rather George Plimpton style (note: Plimpton was a rich Hahvahd kid… and rumored to be a “Community asset” during his time at the Paris Review). That other one failed the Dover Test.
You have to love how sportsball fans think their explanations make sense. I got as far as “scrimmage”. X-D
I’d make fun of American football for having terms like “tight end” except in my native form of football you literally score by kicking “behinds”.
Silentbob, yeah you score one point for kicking a behind, but a behind is of course a narrowly missed goal – does that make the goal the arsehole?
[Good grief!]
(https://www.footyalmanac.com.au/general-footy-writing-may-17-1859-and-the-codification-of-footy/)
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That was obviously innuendo about anal sex. Not exactly subtle.
Yeah, nah. It’s homophobic as fuck.