Our plans have been revealed and thus, as Communications Director for the Male Order Brides of the Great FemiNazi Movement, it is my duty to communicate our new rules, as your “freedom” is relinquished from your dirty manhands.
I. The PCB (Pearl Clutching Brigade) is monitoring all social media, 24/7, in an effort to maintain constant outrage. We need outrage to power our war machines we’ve dubbed Common Decency, Empathy and Conduct. Any and all rape jokes, any and all pictures or details of indecently dressed women, will be targeted, shut down and censored.
II. Many say we are “just expressing outrage” using the same freedom that allows people to make rape jokes, look at adult pornography, and so on… but don’t be fooled!
a. We really are the ones getting writers fired, we are getting websites shut down, dropping magazine sales.
b. We are legion, numerous, powerful.
III. We actually control all employers, whether magazine editorial staff or website hosts: It’s not that employers have contracts and can fire or dismiss people for whatever reason the employers reasonably choose, because they’re a business! What posh!
IV. Of course we’ve doused business leaders with Feminist Sprays and are controlling them with Lesbian Nazi mind-tricks: we made entire businesses make decisions that just happened to be in their own interests, letting go of people who acted immorally, or against the business’ code of ethics (which these now fired people signed). But, again, that’s just what we want you to think!
I. Our code-words have been revealed.
a. When we “ask” or “argue” with people, we are in fact “oppressing”.
b. You may have the entire Internet to make your claims, but, as per Article I, you now know we control all: You men are not safe anywhere.
c. When we object with justified reasons, we are in fact “unable to take a joke” or “are being reactionary”.
II. There is no place safe for you. You live in fear and that is how you must live. It’s not like women are the ones facing the most danger from, for example, domestic or street violence or rape.
III. We must also declare our complete lack of interest in other areas: None of us are actual scientists, actual writers, actual video game developers, actual doctors, actual businesspersons, actual sportspersons. We’ve written on and done nothing other than focus on how upset we are at people and their resistance to the New Women Order.
a. When we’re told “There are bigger problems”, or “People are dying and you’re whining about rape jokes/booth babes/pornstars”, we have no good response other than to “oppress” you (see II.I.a).
IV. All those documents and inventions and technology, all science and innovation and genius, has actually been men.
a. Marie Curie was our First Grand Vizier and merely stole her husband’s ideas, tricking him with her Lesbian Powers;
b. Rosalind Franklin was just our closest PCB agent, who kept an eye on Watson & Crick – of course she didn’t pioneer research that later went on to the discovery of the Double Helix, that’s beyond a woman’s ability;
c. Malala Yousafzai is actually a sophisticated robot (made by our male slaves) we control using words written by Nobel Prize winning writers, all men slaves (how else could she have survived a bullet to the head?);
V. The only merit is looks: Women don’t actually train for years, struggle, learn, study and compete in sports, business, etc, like persons. Instead, accomplishment is based on how much time has gone into make-up, tight bottoms and stomachs. Marion Bartoli’s recent win was on oversight that keen-eyed Resistance members sharply spotted. We slipped up, since we didn’t realise how vastly intellectual you people were.
All around you can probably feel the clutches of The New Woman Order closing in: The Resistance movements – called “Vast Ignorance”, “privilege”, etc. – is being broken as we make you recognise the reality around you. Most will hold on, protecting themselves from our poisonous clutches, but your resistance is futile.
The Machines will continue. You will fail.
Soon all rapes jokes will end. And the Internet and society will be a pure, safe, space in which no one ever anywhere will ever be offended!
Praise Lilith. Death to Adam’s sons!
OFFICE OF COMMUNICATIONS
VERIFIED BY THREE WOMEN