BOOOO!

Dedicated to Tea Party Rabble-Rousers Everywhere.

When we look at global warming
And the use of carbon fuels
Should we listen to the scientists
Or listen to the fools?
If the scientists are certain
That the evidence is true:
BOOOO!

Someone’s come across the border
Cos they’re looking for a job;
Should we treat him with respect, or
Simply throw him to the mob?
Immigrants are people;
Could there be another view?
BOOOO!

If a businessman has cancer
Do we simply say good-bye?
Though it’s in our power to help him,
Should we really let him die?
If he can’t afford insurance
Should the government come through?
BOOOO!

There are questions we can’t answer
And a man who’s set to die
Can we really be so certain?
Is this something to decry?
We have to have our justice vengeance—
If it’s not this man, then who?
BOOOO!

There’s a question from a soldier—
Will you hear him out today?
“Can you promise us fair treatment
If we’re lesbian or gay?”
As we listened to the question
There was one thing we could do:
BOOOO!

There’s a sort of open secret
We don’t openly admit:
There’s the people with the money
And the people with the shit
So we’ll punish the majority
And benefit the few:
Yahoooo!

It’s An Empirical Question

I’m looking for some funding, if you’re willing to invest—
Cos it’s time for us to figure out whose praying works the best.
See, we’re getting rid of FEMA, and we’ve got to find a way
To respond to things like hurricanes. The answer is, to pray.
Can we influence the weather? Can we turn away a storm?
In a blizzard in the winter, can we keep the homeless warm?
Can we pray us up some batteries, some candles, and some food?
Can we pray for stronger windowpanes, or are we simply screwed?
We’ll pray away the damage, and we’ll pray to clear the roads
We’ll pray the roofs are strong enough to tolerate the loads

… Just lost power for a moment, so if anybody cares,
Gotta cut this short and post it, cos I gotta say my prayers.

So, yeah, we did just lose power for a bit, so this may be the beginning of radio silence for me for a while. If comments take a bit to get approved, that’s the reason.

Aaaaaand then we lost power again, for about half an hour, one sentence before I could post this. And it’s early still. So up this goes. See you tomorrow, I suspect.

Stay safe–prepare like an atheist!

Exercises in Futility

He hears the prayers, but God refrains
From redirecting hurricanes;
Is it that praying doesn’t work?
Or is this “God” a royal jerk?

Maybe Texans should have been praying that they get missed by a hurricane. God responds to reverse psychology… or just doesn’t respond.

Hurricane Preparedness

Get some water; grab some food
Be sure your flashlights work okay
It wouldn’t hurt to fill your tank
Then on your knees and pray, pray, pray!

Board your windows, if you can
Securely tie or store your boat
Check your neighbors; lend a hand
Then take a lamb and slit its throat

A first-aid kit, some blankets, too,
Some cleansers that can take on staph;
Pick up the junk that’s on the lawn
And sacrifice the fatted calf

Make sure you have a radio,
Some candles, matches, in a box
Trim dead branches from any trees
And then behead a snow-white ox

The winds will blow, the tides will rise
It’s possible your house may flood
So sacrifice your first-born child
Cos God is mad, and God wants blood!

…

If first you’ve used the power of science
To put yourself in safe positions
You now have time for magic words
And ineffective superstitions.

*******

So I was watching PBS Newshour, and saw (I think; I’ve tried to check, without success) the North Carolina Governor, Bev Perdue, give a statement on hurricane preparedness. NC has been through this stuff before; it’s a tough state and they’ll do just fine. They’ll have damage, and depending on the severity of the storm, they’ll have death. But they know how to prepare.

So it was mostly a very helpful reminder of the things one should do in advance of a hurricane. Water, batteries, first aid kit, the usual. And she ended with a dramatic flourish, asking her citizens, once they have taken care of those material suggestions, to pray. To my (biased, admittedly) ear, there was a clear emphasis on this strategy. And, frankly, if you are not allowed to pray until you have done all those other (practical) things, perhaps it’s a decent strategy, a nice carrot for those who believe in the effectiveness of prayer (just remember how well it’s been working for Texas).

Just remember, NC–prayer comes after all the other stuff!

Update

I know you are on tenterhooks, wondering about my mom. Mostly, I just wrote that because I love the word “tenterhooks”, and feel that one should use it whenever possible. But there is an update, and it is good news. For those of you not praying for her, or for those of you who (like F(entropy)) are thinking kind thoughts about her despite my post… Not only is she surpassing the “dreaded worst-case scenario”, but she is at this point beating the “steely-eyed statistical average”, and is well into the “damn, that’s impressive” territory.

So on the off chance you were worrying, there are other things to worry about.

But if you think that gets you off the blood donation hook, think again.

Headline Muse, 8/22

They had gone to Hawaii to marry
Cos the laws, among states, tend to vary
By death they’re now parted
So lawyers get started—
Without equal rights, it gets scary.

Headline: Indiana stage collapse lawsuits could challenge state’s rules on gay marriage

It’s hard enough to sue for damages after an event like the Indiana stage collapse. An earlier story drew comments about vulture lawyers, greedy survivors, and cold-hearted people all around. But for Beth Urschel, there is insult added to injury; Indiana does not recognize her Hawaiian civil union. What would be a frustrating situation for anyone (the Indiana State Fair has a liability limitation such that their total payouts are capped at a fraction of what victims are currently seeking) will likely turn into a legal nightmare, ending at the Indiana supreme court, at minimum.

Headline Muse, 8/20

Through a highly unusual plea
A new world, for the West Memphis Three
The deal that was built
Meant admitting to guilt—
Would you say that you killed, to go free?

Headline: Deal Frees ‘West Memphis Three’ in Arkansas

The more I read about this, the more interesting it gets. Though officially all three have now confessed, they very publicly maintain their innocence, noting that confession was necessary in order to gain release. In the case of one of the men, release means from death row. And many writers make the case that the evidence against them was slim and disappearing, that their case was likely to be reviewed and probably overturned.

I don’t claim omniscience. I don’t know their guilt or innocence for a fact, and cannot. But it is an interesting exercise to put myself in the position of the various players in this. Could I confess to a crime I did not do, to save myself? To save a friend? Could I, knowing they might soon be proven innocent, offer a plea bargain wherein inmates must confess to murder in order to save a friend?

Headline News, Mabus Edition

As folks ‘round the world can attest
Some time out for Mabus was best
So they pulled out all stops,
Spammed the Montreal cops—
Now, at last, he is under arrest.

Headline: Montreal police make arrest in “Mabus” case on online death threats

If he is mentally ill, I hope he gets the help he needs. If he is not, he has done a damned fine imitation, and as happens when you play with fire, will get burned.

I’ve seen a few people here and there argue that we should not assume he is mentally ill. And of course, internet psychiatric diagnostics are best left to nobody. But his language has crossed lines–not dim and fuzzy lines, but bright and clear lines.

This will be an interesting case to follow.

Defending DOMA (For Fame And Fortune)

This is from the old blog, but thanks to the political cycle, it’s absolutely current.

In the constant chase for headlines
Given fast-approaching deadlines
Politicians fight each other for the top spot on the news
In this rough-and-tumble scrimmage
As they fight to hone their image
Some conservatives may think they’ve found an issue they can use

It’s that goddamn gay agenda
The republicans expend a
Lot of energy in fighting, as they pander to their base
If a legal stance looks funny
Often, following the money
Shows the underlying logic (as, of course, the present case)

In this mess, if you’re litigious
Then you’re probably religious
And it’s blasphemous that marriage should be offered up to gays
And republicans get boners
Over big financial donors
(If the dollars were sufficient, why, I’m sure they’d swing both ways)

It’s a match that’s made in heaven
For Two Thousand and Eleven
As the campaign is upon us and we’re choosing sides, of course
Let the Democrats disparage
Us, we’re standing up for marriage!
It’s a sacred institution… like Republican divorce!

NPR’s Morning Edition reports on the political posturing surrounding the Obama administration’s decision not to defend the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Conservative Republicans are on the wrong side of history here, but it looks like they are hoping they are on the right side of their own base. I’ve argued over marriage issues for years, and have never yet found an objection to same-sex marriage that did not boil down to a religious view. From my perspective, then, it comes down to a First Amendment issue: if the government takes a stand opposing same-sex marriage, it favors one religious view over others.

It’s not a matter of what is good for the children. My lesbian neighbors have raised a fine son, despite not being recognized as a real family; real concern for the well-being of children would lead to support for gay families. It’s not that marriage is designed to promote procreation; my sister-in-law is hoping for her third childless marriage. Since she is heterosexual, no one has a problem with that–least of all, the Republican front-runners, who [as of the writing of this verse] sport more ex-wives than candidates.

It’s not even freedom of religion. There are a good many churches that recognize, welcome, and celebrate same-sex marriages. These conservative Republicans would want these churches overruled.

No, it’s money. There is money to be had by fighting on the wrong side of this battle. If that money can keep a handful of politicians in the headlines for a bit longer, they can keep the positions of power they hold. When they eventually are swept aside, that same money will be available for speeches and appearances. Ex-senators and ex-representatives will make more for one speech than I do in a year, railing against the moral decline of civilization.

Meh. I’ll take that, if I can go to my neighbors’ wedding.