“No One Can Purchase ‘The Donald'”

“No one can purchase The Donald”
Goes the anti-establishment gibe,
He’s amassed so much money
It’s not even funny
There’s not enough left for a bribe!

He’s the anti-establishment candidate
He’s the one who’s been breaking the rules
He will do as he ought
Cos the man can’t be bought…

And the folks who believe that are fools

As the Kochs hand out money like candy
There’s no need to give Donald a share
There is no need to pay
So he’ll see things their way
Because Donald is already there!

He’s a master at playing the system
Cos it’s rigged just for people like him!
It’s a system that works
It brings privilege and perks,
So the odds that he’ll change things are slim

So, “no one can purchase The Donald”
He’s free to do just as he ought
As he stumps on the trail
Donald Trump’s not for sale…
Cos the truth is, he’s already bought.

It frankly astonishes me to hear potential voters laud Trump’s wealth as somehow insulating him from the system. True, he does not need to go begging from the Koch brothers, but neither do they need to waste any money on him (at least, at this point); the purpose of their investments is to get people thinking their way. Trump already does.

He’s had a lifetime of working the system, and apparently thinks there is nothing wrong with it–he bragged about buying political influence at the first debate, for instance. Corporate welfare? He bragged about his bankruptcies. Watching out for the little guy? Well, not in his casinos or construction. Here, a bit more about Trump’s history.

Nope, don’t even try to bribe Trump. You only need to bribe someone when they *don’t* want to do what you want. And, fortunately for Trump, the system works well enough that the 97% who might want to get him to do something different, couldn’t possibly scrape up enough money to bribe him. So, yeah, he’s bribe-proof.


  1. says

    You cannot hope to bribe or twist,
    Thank God! the. British journalist Donald Trumpalist.
    But, seeing what the man will do
    Unbribed, there’s no occasion to

  2. says

    With apologies to Epicurus, who I weaponize:
    the only value of power is to abuse it
    therefore anyone that seeks power, seeks to abuse it.

    Wealth is power.
    we’re done here.

  3. Jockaira says

    Cuttlefish, you’ve made a good point but there is an older more basic principle at work: Everyone has his price.

    While a county-level pol can be had for a few hundred dollars, a state-level pol for a few thousand, and a senator at least half-a-mil, Der Donald would probably require at least a steamer trunk compacted full of hundred bills.

    You can bet that the arrival of a supplicant with this burden at Trump’s Throne would receive instant and rapt attention to the attendant petition.

    ‘Tis a pity that us ordinary millionaires have been priced out of the race.

    Sorry it didn’t rhyme
    But I just can’t cant
    But there’ll be another time
    Another place, another rant.

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