The fragment of papyrus read:
“And Jesus said, My Wife…”
Which shocked those unaware of this
Dimension of His life
The fragment, though, is incomplete;
It leaves the scholars vexed.
I’ll ask my learned readers, then…
What do you think comes next?
So, yeah… via National Geographic… A fourth-century fragment of papyrus is making some waves.
The papyrus made international headlines when it was cited in a new paper by Harvard historian Karen King. Smaller than a business card, the fragment includes several lines of handwritten text, composed in Coptic language, which uses Christian symbols.
The final line of text includes the words: “And Jesus said, My Wife…” while quoting Jesus.
My question, then, is simple: What’s the next line? What’s next, that the papyrus got cut off before it told us? For me, I see Jesus as a borscht belt comedian, stealing from Henny Youngman, Jack Benny, and Uncle Miltie…
And Jesus said, My Wife Simon Peter and I will be taking the weekend off..
And Jesus said, My Wife, when she sits around the house, she sits. around. the house.
And Jesus said, My Wife complains about dinner: loaves and fishes again?
And Jesus said, My Wife–Take her, please!
And Jesus Said, My Wife…
What?
“My wife,” said He, “writes all I say;
Up to the final edit.
She pens and scribes the day away,
But I get all the credit.”
Shellity, I cannot begin to tell you… how much nicer you are than I am.
And Jesus Said, My Wife, the other day I said to her, “you’re driving me to my grave.” She had the chariot out in 30 seconds.
Smaller than a business card, the fragment …
Let’s hope the same quantity of Dan Brown’s ouevre survives the next 17 centuries.
And Jesus said, ” My Wife, she completes me…and she completes my Father and the Holy Spirit too, all of us are one complete Holy Square”
And Jesus said “My Wife, if I ever have one,….”
I like pretending to be nice. It makes it easier to get away with stuff.
“My wife, I think I’ll keep her.”
Few people know that after carpentry and before playing god, Jesus was one hell of an ad man.
“My wife said ‘The Devil made me buy that dress’.”
And Jesus said, “My Wife shall be the foundation of life eternal:
For I am the Bridegroom, and the whole body of them that call upon My Name
Shall be the flesh of my Bride.”
Whereupon He began to draw diagrams in the sand with His staff;
And the apostles were sorely vexed,
And their rectums grew swollen and painful
From the contemplation thereof.
“My wife keeps asking for a dishwasher but we just can’t afford a slave.”
And Jesus said, “My wife, take her before I wring her robe and sandal-buying neck. And she never wants to have sex either. Why didn’t God tell me it would be like this?”
Makes more sense than considering him to be a carpenter, since we never hear about is carpentry work. One comedian, whose name escapes me, says “If jesus was a carpenter he must have worked for the city, since we never read of anything he built.”
More in line: “My wife, I take her out to be lost in the desert, but she found her way back”
Jesus said “My wife, she doesn’t give me any respect. I don’t get any respect from her. Just last night she gave me back my rib.”
And Jesus said, my wife thinks I’m full of shit and won’t submit to my invisible mantle of authority. Even though I’ve assured her repeatedly it’s totally legit,; why won’t she just take my word for it? I know it seems self serving but that’s just a coincidence. Damn women.
And Jesus said, My Wife, my intimate partner, my most trusted friend, the light of my life…may none of these people meet.
And Jesus said, my wife
will never be the boss
but still I humor her
so’s not to make her cross
“My wife…the Womans will take my wife by cwucifying me.”
And Jesus said “My wife is not going so gweat. But cheew up, and awways wook on the bwight side of wife!”
(Whistling and doing the crucifix dance)
It doesn’t matter. In Fundiewhackazoid circles, the only real Scripture is the one produced by King James’s board of scholars. God whispered in their ears, in middle English, and any earlier Bible bits are Satanic frauds.
Oh, Steve… You’re no fun.
:-p
And Jesus said, “my wife is coming after me
Cause I ain’t been home since Friday night.
Gimme police protection
Gonna buy me a gun so
I can look out for number one.”