100 Percent Certain!

I’m right, cos I’m right, which I knew all along
I am certain—one hundred percent!
There is zero percent of a chance I am wrong
And I’m certain I said what I meant.

There’s no reason for me to be changing my mind
Like that Dawkins, all wriggly and squirmy
No reason to look at the evidence, either—
I know it will only confirm me.

I’m pointing at Dawkins with utter delight
While his atheist followers grieve,
Cos I’m certain the way we decide who is right
Is how strongly believers believe!

Fun stuff, after the jump:

If you’re a fan of Catholic-style torture porn, click here. Beyond the photo, the same stuff we have come to expect:

In an embarrassing (for the Atheists) and rare show of common sense, Richard Dawkins admitted to be only sure to 6.9 sevenths (which, to you and I who do not have a book to promote, means around 98.6%) God does not exist. This leaves only space for the conclusion (as in such things tertium non datur) Dawkins considers the existence of God a 1.4% probability.

In my book, this means Dawkins not only maintains he is not an atheists, but maintains Atheists are wrong. Always in my book, a 1.4% probability of being wrong in your supposition qualifies you as an agnostic, albeit of a rather obdurate sort.

In the black and white world where a given shade of gray must fall on one side or the other of your line, it appears that dark charcoal gray counts as pristine snowy white.

Contrast this with, say, myself:

I am absolutely certain God exists. Not to 6.9 sevenths, not even to 6.99 sevenths. I am 100% certain, period.

Because we all know that the real measure of the truth of a concept is how firmly you believe in it. And let’s face it, anyone who didn’t believe 100% would be ashamed to have put that photo on his site.

Seriously, though, this guy desperately needs to watch Bronowski’s “Knowledge or Certainty“. The ability to admit uncertainty is not a weakness, but a strength. The ability to recognize and learn from the times when we were wrong (or inaccurate) is crucial if we are to progress. “There is no absolute knowledge” is the first step to understanding.


  1. sailor1031 says

    That, and its links, are the most disgusting and scary blogs I have seen for some time. We are kidding ourselves if we think for a moment that there can be any reasoning with these neanderthals.

  2. Phledge says

    Sigh…how do people live without doubt? without curiosity? the joy of discovery? It seems like such a dismal existence, this “being sure alla time” thing. How can theists possibly be happy?

  3. carpenterman says

    What in the name of dog is the bloody picture supposed to inspire in the faithful (or anyone else)? A deep gratitude for the suffering of the christ, inspiring a sense of obligation to make myself worthy of his sacrifice? Because it just makes me go “YUK!”
    Seriously, do some of the clergy have any notion of normal human nature? What constitutes good mental health? What sort of human behavior we ought to be holding up as an example? (Hint: it’s NOT a man suffering a horrible death at the hands of his fellow man!) What are they thinking, that this is worthy of devotion on ANY level? Are these men even humans? Seriously… can we get a DNA test for some of these guys? (Yeah, yeah, that’s petty, I know. I don’t care. It’s late and I’m tired and I’m weary of people who believe stupid things for bad reasons.)

  4. articulett says

    Hey Sailor– not cool to knock Neanderthal’s like that.

    (Recent genetic studies show that many of us have some Neanderthal in us, and yet we are able to be rational.)

    In any case, it’s disturbing that so many people are 100 percent certain that their “woo” is true given the conflicting nature of their assorted “woo”. Does it disturb these Christians that many Muslims are equally certain of their god (the one that will be sending Christians to hell for worshiping Jesus as a god?)? How many cult members are sure that their cult has “the truth”?

  5. sailor1031 says


    You’re right. I apologise to any neanderthals who may have been offended by my remarks. I blame my inner piltdown man for my poor choice of words.

    “Does it disturb these Christians that many Muslims are equally certain of their god (the one that will be sending Christians to hell for worshiping Jesus as a god?)”

    No. It doesn’t disturb the christians at all because they are 100% sure that the muslims are 100% wrong. While the muslims are 100% sure that the christians are 100% wrong. With that kind of certainty no reason, evidence, facts, intelligence are required. Just faith!

  6. Die Anyway says

    >”I’m 100% certain the Tooth Fairy does not exist.”

    Yeah? Well then how do you ‘splain all those dimes under my pillow?

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