1. Matt G says

    My high school used to have pun contests. Each kid got ten chances, and scored points each time one of the judges cracked a smile. My friend Steve scored zero points every single year. Despite his best attempts to make the judges smile, no pun in ten did.

  2. mastmaker says

    (from my jokes to make you groan series):

    Me: Care to try my fosakkia?
    Friend: It is pronounced focaccia.
    Me (with a stern look): That’s vulgar……and racist!

  3. Who Cares says

    1: 7.5 groans out of 10
    2: 8 groans out of 10
    3: due to missing the background to understand the pun 0 groans out of 10 instead 9 out of 10 confused.

  4. mastmaker says

    focaccia (the italian dish) is pronounced (as close as you can get to) “f*ck asia”

  5. Who Cares says

    @5: Thanks for that one. And this makes it once again clear that language based humor is really situational. Where I live it is pronounced more like fo ka cha.

  6. Rob Grigjanis says

    Woman travelling through the Australian outback stops at a cafe in the tiny town of Mersey. She asks the proprietor, who introduces himself as Bluey, for a cup of tea.
    “We only have the one kind, made with koalas.”
    “Yeah, the oils in the fur make for an aromatic brew; we soak the animal in warm water, then squeeze it out.”
    “Er, ok”.
    Bluey pours her a cup, and she takes a sip.
    “Not bad, but it has bugs and dirt in it. Couldn’t you filter it before serving?”
    “The koala tea of Mersey is not strained!”

  7. foamywolf says

    Why did the cop get up early?
    To beat the crowd.

    (Apologies if this has been posted earlier. Or is triggering.)

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