Ooh, a roundup of all things Lovecraftian. Lots of weird cool stuff here: may I recommend The Call of Cthulhu as if drawn by Dr Seuss?

Also, to whet your appetite for FtBCon 2 (coming on 31 Jan-2 Feb), I’m organizing a session on atheism and the Cthulhu mythos, and have already lined up some great speakers for it.

I thought this story was a joke; no one could be that superficial. But a couple of people have looked at the homelessness problem, and decided that one way they can help is by giving them graphic design help on their signs. It’s really a thing!

I can sorta see that they’re trying — they want to contribute in ways that use their skill set. But I seriously don’t see the benefit, especially when many of the homeless people seem to be doing this are accepting the $20 donation (the artists give them a little money and a sign), and then conveniently, somehow, losing the sign.

I’m thinking that maybe I ought to go to Minneapolis and offer to give the destitute a lecture on oncogenes, or perhaps talk to them about evolution, and give them $20 for their attention. That wouldn’t be patronizing at all, would it?

If you did not watch the first episode of the new season of Breaking Bad last night, you missed the part where it veered into Kevin Smith territory. A couple of the low-life drug dealers had a conversation about Star Trek, and it’s already been excerpted and animated!

Oh, man, that was so much better than the last Star Trek movie.

Today is World Cat Day. I know what you’re thinking: every day is cat day already, and why should we celebrate a bunch of manipulative carnivores that infest our homes and our internet? I’m sure not motivated to praise a cat. I will point out that cephalopods, as a measure of their relative worthiness, get a full week, but that’s not until October.

So what am I to celebrate today? I need an official reason to be happy, or I might just slump into a glum lump, you know.

Fortunately, we’re all in luck. Today has another official designation: it is Día Internacional del Orgasmo Femenino, a Brazilian (of course) holiday that has gone international. It’s the International Day of the Female Orgasm! Now that’s a holiday I can get into.

So shoo the cat into the basement — OK, you can give it a can of its favorite food or something — and get busy celebrating the real reason for 8 August to exist.

I wonder if Hallmark has cards for this event?

You know how it goes: you’re in some sensitive position, like running for political office, trying to get tenure, or the college of cardinals is reviewing your candidacy for the papacy, but you just can’t keep your cell phone in your pants — you’ve gotta send pictures of your penis to random women. We’ve all been there, am I right, guys? So you need a pseudonym. A cool synonym. One that will look really good when your peccadillos hit the newspapers.

Fortunately for those of us with limited imaginations, we now have a Carlos Danger name generator.

Ladies, check your phones for an extra special message from Diego Smash.

And delete it on sight, because it sure as heck isn’t from me.

Sometimes I see words of such profound truth that they simply must be quoted.

"By the third time…I was like, you know, this is gratuitous. I do not need to see any more mayonnaise enemas for the rest of my lifetime."