How ignorant can a creationist be?

This is so stupid it hurts. Check out the Missing Universe Creation Museum: it’s got all the usual creationist jabber. No transitional fossils, all mutations are harmful, and my favorite, prominently quoted, “If you don’t believe God created all living things, male and female, in 6 days…How many millions of years was it between the first male and the first female?” How about no time at all, they coevolved? And you must take their evolution test — it will definitely make you laugh.

After you’ve browsed the site for a bit, they also have a poll. They want to know how effective they are at convincing you. Maybe you should tell them.

We would like to know if this web site is helping to change minds.
Please let us know your beliefs before and after visiting the Missing Universe Museum.

Evolution, and now only Evolution
46.1%

Evolution, and now only Creation
6.15%

Evolution, and now Both
3.07%

Creation, and now only Creation
29.2%

Creation, and now only Evolution
9.23%

Creation, and now Both
0%

Both, and now only Creation
0%

Both, and now only Evolution
1.53%

Both, and now Both
4.61%

Michael Jackson news

I know! He’s dead! But that’s one corpse that you know isn’t going to rest easily.

First, the ghouls are out in force. “psychic” ghoul James Van Praagh says he’s been having conversations with Jackson’s ghost; ghoul enabler Oprah Winfrey has quickly snatched him up to appear on her show and make the entire country disgusted.

Sylvia Browne, quick to gnaw the scraps off the bones, now claims that she has been chatting with the dead guy. Coming in second means she gets the consolation prize of appearing on the Montel Williams show.

There is now a video circulating about that claims to have captured Jackson’s ghost walking through a hallway in Neverland. Oh, the ignominy of it all: lively, talented, enthusiastic black kid, reduced to creepy, wispy white man, and now at the end, seen as nothing more than a compression artifact.

Finally, after the flesh has been stripped from his bones, something has to be done with those untidy scraps of discarded mortality, lest they interfere with subsequent myths about his faked death and new life frolicking about with Elvis. There will be a memorial service. A huge, overblown, expensive memorial service to the tune of $2.5 million. Would you believe there is a poll about who should pay for it?

Should California Taxpayers Pay For Michael Jackson’s Memorial?

Yes, absolutely, 100%. 46.73%

They should pay for some of it, and the Jacksons should also help pay. 22.43%

No, this is not their responsibility. 30.84%

They can’t be serious. A dead wealthy popular entertainer with an extremely checkered reputation should not be receiving a state-sponsored funeral.

(via Tommy Holland’s Vision)

Poor business plan

I don’t think I’d trust this Latvian money-lender to stay in business for long — he’s giving small loans and asking for your soul as the only collateral. He doesn’t employ collection agents, using only fear and superstition to get people to pay him back, which might work for a little while…but only until the atheists show up. Sure, I’ll take a loan for $500, and hey, I think I’ll just default and let you keep the collateral. If you only want to trust me for $1.98, that’s fine, I’ll take it and you can have my soul for as long as you want.

There’s also a poll with the story: Would you use your soul as collateral for a loan?. Unfortunately, you’ll have to until tomorrow to get the results.

What is it with atheists and GLBT folk?

There is a strange correlation: most of the atheists I know are straight, yet when I post a pointless poll like this one, I know with near certainty which way the godless hordes of Pharyngula will try to skew it.

Do you agree with President Obama’s decision to extend certain benefits to gay partners of federal employees?

51.38% Yes
48.62% No

It goes further, too. We atheists tend to strongly favor women’s rights and equality in the marketplace, yet only about half of us are female. I could bring up an article like this one, in which conservative democrats demand that abortion services not be provided under universal healthcare, and I know how most of the progressive godless readers here will respond: with anger. You won’t be voting for Reps. Dan Boren (D-OK); Bart Stupak (D-MI); Colin Peterson (D-MN); Tim Holden (D-PA); Travis Childers (D-MS); Lincoln Davis (D-TN); Heath Shuler (D-NC) Solomon Ortiz (D-TX); Mike McIntyre (D-NC); Jerry Costello (D-IL); Gene Taylor (D-MS); James Oberstar (D-MN); Bobby Bright (D-AL); Steve Driehaus (D-OH); Marcy Kaptur (D-OH); Charlie Melancon (D-LA); John Murtha (D-PA); Paul Kanjorski (D-PA); and Kathleen Dahlkemper (D-PA) in the next election. Hey, Colin Peterson is my state representative; I’ll be writing him a pissed-off letter when I get home, and he has lost my vote.

It’s not just a selective reading on my part. Other sources, like Lavender Magazine, have noticed that the atheists in their communities have a rather reliable political and social position. Here’s a review of Atheists Talk radio (which is no more, I’m sorry to say).

Many radio programs broadcast locally are queer-inclusive. But aside from KFAI’s Fresh Fruit, which is total queer content, no program is as fully queer-supportive as Atheists Talk. Large time chunks have been devoted to Wayne Besen, the Fagbug, and Project 515. Plus, an organic queer sensitivity weaves throughout other segments, because of the atheist and democratic value that separates religion and state.

Host Mike Haubrich thinks “religious institutions that suppress the rights of GLBT folks are using their beliefs as justification for an underlying homophobia. By using the Bible as an absolute moral guide in legislating issues related to marriage and other societal benefits that should be recognized as being granted by such a basic document as the Declaration of Independence, they are demonstrating precisely the effects of church-state entanglement that James Madison was warning against. The state should not be used as a sledgehammer to enforce a particular religious code, and an individual’s sexuality should not be subject to the whims of religious interpretation.”

Contributor August Berkshire observes, “Americans are proud of our ideals of liberty and equality. Why then are some people shocked when these ideals are applied to people of color, women, and sexual minorities? Are some citizens ‘more equal’ than others?”

People dependent on religion like to claim that atheism is just another religion, and they argue that we can’t know that we’d have a better society if we got rid of god (and usually go the other way and claim we’d be immoral without our imaginary cosmic policeman in the sky), but you know, I look around at all the atheist communities springing up around the country, and I see the people who are most committed to tolerance and equality joining them, and I am convinced. A godless America would be a better America, one more committed to the Enlightenment ideals that accompanied its founding, one that would actually have some ideals and principles that would make it a better place to live for everyone.

Oh, dear…I haven’t given you a poll to crash in a while

I hope you’re not feeling restive, and struggling to suppress an urge to smash the crockery — but if you are, go smash this poll instead.

Is it Possible to Believe in God and Darwin?

Yes
79%
No
20%
Undecided
1%

Silly poll. Of course it is possible, since people do.

You’re in luck — this one actually has two polls.

Evolution, Creationism or Both – Which Do You Believe?

Evolution is a myth
7%
God is a myth
34%
I believe in both
51%
I’m not sure
9%

I have a strange tingling sensation in my forebrain that portends some major changes in both polls.

Don’t you appreciate it when a politician seeks the will of the people?

Even if he does try to clumsily word his polls to drive answers towards the one he wants — we’re smart enough to see through that and boldly click where we want. Let’s surprise Congressman Duncan Hunter with the vigor of our response.

Do you support a government imposed healthcare policy?

Yes, even if it requires tax increases.
54.2%
No, we can reform healthcare without a government-run plan that limits choice.
44.4%
Unsure
1.4%

A Republican push-poll

The Republicans are asking the party faithful to fill out a biased poll. The purpose is not to get a snapshot of public opinion, but to mislead people by presenting leading questions. Or, as Mike Haubrich explains it:

The point of push-polling in politics is not to gather opinion, it is to “push” towards a certain viewpoint by exposing the opposite viewpoint as being untenable.

If you’ve got a few minutes and want to cause some bafflement among conservative pollsters, have fun with it.

Pepper an Australian poll

A majority (60%) of Australians think same-sex marriage is just fine. The story has an associated poll, though, and the results are tipped just a little bit the other way. What’s wrong here? Fix it!

Are you in favour of same-sex marriage in Australia?

Yes
44%
No
55%

We might have some opposition on this one. A Christian, anti-science, anti-choice, anti-gay organization called Salt Shakers is pushing this poll, too. We must defeat them. Steamroller the salt shakers!

An abortion debate…with a poll!

Read an online debate between Troy Newman, stooge from Operation Rescue, and Cristina Page, a legitimate advocate for reproductive rights, and then vote on who made the best case. Newman made the same hypocritical arguments the anti-abortionists always make, so I know where my vote went. But of course the knee-jerk goons from Operation Rescue have already hit the poll, and Newman is claiming to have won.

Well, sure, the poll shows Newman leading Page 54:46 right now, but that might just change soon. You think?