My mutant superpower

It’s not what I would have picked if I had a choice, but it seems that my amazing mutant superpower is the ability to effortlessly drive people insane. I guess it’s not surprising that my talent would be both sinister and Lovecraftian, but I’d rather be able to fly or fire lasers out of my eyes — heck, even Aquaman’s powers would be kind of cool.

Ah, well … with great power comes great responsibility. Rather than afflicting innocent cognitive psychologists, who should I reduce to gibbering madness next? I tried doing a mind blast on Osama Bin Laden and GW Bush, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. My powers seem to be useless on most creationists, too. This is very disappointing!

And the winner is…

It was a tough decision in the contest to design a fabulous new Darwin Fish. I admit that I was partial to the designs that included cephalopods, but the other judges (who I was tempted to call Paula and Randy) kept coming back to those chordate-derived designs. We did finally achieve consensus, however, on an excellent fishy logo that I would be proud to slap on my car. And the winner is…

You’ll just have to go look to find out.

The joke’s on them

I hesitate to mention this, but I seem to be the target of creationist humor. It’s not being targeted that I mind, but that the ‘humor’ is so lame and the photoshopping is so bad. I would have thought that I’d be an excellent subject for lampooning, being easily caricatured and having views outside the mainstream, so why are they so pathetic at it?

Never mind, I looked around the site a little more — it’s all that bad, a kind of ham-fisted exaggeration of creationist misconceptions that really only makes the creationists look foolish, on a par with Dembski’s clumsy attempts at a joke. Don’t they know that good satire has to build on some grain of truth about the subject?

Jesus won’t bring you any presents!

I don’t know whether this is staged or not, but it’s bizarrely amusing: someone video taped his mother’s reaction to learning he is an atheist. Mom throws a hissy fit. After a bit of denial, she brings the big guns to bear on the poor guy: if he’s an atheist, he’s not going to get any presents for Christmas, because it’s all about Jesus.

After crushing him with that overwhelming threat, what’s she going to do to punish him when she finds out he posted her tirade on Youtube? It’s good parenting skills to know you don’t launch the thermonuclear missiles with the first offense, because you won’t have any credible escalation options left when you discover the really awful thing the kid has done.

The video has been pulled from youtube, but you can still find it here.