I am impressed by the comprehensive integration of multiple lines of kooky

If you asked me to come up with a unified theory to explain chemtrails, 5G and vaccine paranoia, assassinations, and COVID-19, I would be hard-pressed to do so. When all the gears in your mind have been stripped, though, it is apparently easy to just press everything together in a mish-mash of conspiracy theories.

Wow. I’ve got all kinds of ideas for how to do interesting science with “DIGITIZED (controllable) RNA”. Can I have your protocol?


  1. voidhawk says

    This all makes sense from a crooked, magic-funhouse kind of perspective, right up until they allege Trump is against this conspiracy. Surely ‘chemtrails’ and 5G signals are all over the US, too?

    A better plotline would be that the Space Force is designed to resist any attempts to deactivate the remote-control satellites by countries or organisation opposed to the NWO.

  2. hemidactylus says

    OK first who is behind all this? And if they have control over us to the point of shutting down our organs for noncompliance why can’t they control our brain as an organ to render us compliant to whatever the agenda may be?

    The hypothesis that aliens on a planet with highly eccentric orbit (or alternatively from another dimension) are doing this just because they thrive on our negative energy seems to be the motivator of such inference. Why can’t these negative energy loving transdimensional leeches engineer a renewable source of negativity on their home planet? Is it the same reason they genetically engineered us to mine gold, because their planet is resource deprived? They needed our gold and now need our anxiety.

    The upswing in anxiety has been attributed to reduced affiliation to religion or increased screen time in our youth. Maybe instead it is vaccination and chemtrails. But if chemtrails can induce anxiety that is mind control so why not compliance?

  3. shelldigger says

    What… the … fuck?

    I miss the good old days of bigfoot, aliens, and flat earthers… I do wonder though if this person gets their information from places like:


    Save your sanity and do not click the link. I know a guy who told me to go check that place out, to support his opinions on chem trails several years ago. I don’t talk to him much anymore.

  4. says

    @7 whywhywhy
    Obviously the Repteloid aliens. They’re tarraforming Earth to a warmer temperature so that it’s more like their homeworld.

  5. kome says

    In the science of conspiracy theory literature, this is an expression of how conspiracy theories become a monological belief system. Because the acceptance of one unwarranted conspiracy theory (as opposed to, say, accepting conspiracy claims we have evidence actually happened, e.g. Watergate Scandal) basically assumes the existence of incredibly powerful shadowy mysterious agents, any random and disparate data points can be connected by just appealing to those powerful mysterious agents – who knows what they’re capable of! Eventually, for the conspiracy theorist, everything only makes sense in the context of what the conspirators are doing or are allowing.
    But it doesn’t stop there. Once “conspiracy” becomes an acceptable explanation, every subsequent claim of a conspiracy acts as de facto evidence for the previous conspiracy claims. Which is why conspiracy theory crowds are so bug nutty immune to even the basic ability to reason. Threatening the validity of any conspiracy they believe in is effectively a threat against their entire worldview, and people are (sometimes for good reason) highly invested in maintaining their beliefs.

    You can’t reason people out of beliefs they didn’t reason their way into, so it really is often absolutely no use trying to reason with people too far into the world of conspiracy theories.

  6. Akira MacKenzie says

    @ 9

    Who are ‘they’?

    Why, the Illuminati, the Reptiloids, the Greys, the Deep State, Hillary Clinton’s Satanic Child Trafficking’s Cabal, the Brotherhood of the Yellow Sign, the Cthulhu Cult, and, of course, “The Jeeeeeeeeeeews.”

  7. says

    Still not as loony as religion, tho…

    Seriously: the entire universe is just a puppet show run by invisible beings who desperately care about human bodily fluids, and death is fake — really when you “die” you become the eternal victim or servant of one of the invisible beings. And even though some of these invisible beings really, really want you to believe not just in the existence of shadow puppet masters but in the inevitable victory of some specific group of them, and have almost unlimited power which we ordinary humans can barely comprehend, they are unwilling to make themselves known in a non-ambiguous, unmistakeable way — the best they can do is to provide a fifth-hand account of some of their past deeds (when, for unexplained reasons, they weren’t so shy) which cannot by any rigorous test be distinguished from works of fantasy.

    If you’ve been trained as a child to believe all of that, then the whole 5G-coronavirus-chemtrails-whatever thing is easy to believe. There’s more visible “evidence” for the existence of chemtrails (which are, yes, fictional) than for any god.

  8. says

    Wait. The Hamberdler is moving the government to battle the… checks conspiracy theory notes the government?

    Speaking of theories, I have my own on a lot people like this and the Qnns when it comes to Orange Yeller. They can see exactly what he’s like. They can see the corruption and buffoonery. The problem is that this man somehow got elected to the most powerful political office in the world and many of them helped put him there. So they need him to be a genius and everything he says in does is part of his brilliant plan to purge everyone they hate because if he’s not an heroic genius then a massively corrupt buffoon is president of the United States and they helped put him there.

  9. wzrd1 says

    Honestly, I wish that chucklehead ran off at the mouth in my presence.
    I’d begin my pummeling with the 60 GHZ mm wave, as gigahertz if a frequency band, mm is a size, so we have a frequency size, proving that the asshole doesn’t know wavelength from frequency.
    And apparently, the four letters of RNA are fingers, as one cannot have binary anything with a group of four.
    So, there is a remote controlled RNA finger that operates with a 5mm wavelength to shut down the idiot’s brain and is frighteningly effective in that singular instance!
    There also seems to be some kind of time travel in use, as the number of 60 GHZ/5mm band repeaters/transceivers in use currently can be signified in one hand and oddly, Wuhan isn’t one of the locations, so I guess that the 60 GHZ/5mm band RF signals are really VLF or ELF signals via magic, or perhaps the wavelength is being blue shifted by the naked singularity inside of the speaker’s skull.
    Let’s circle back to the 5mm wavelength, so we’d need an RNA “antenna” that is 5mm for a full wave antenna. But, full wave antennae are rare for a number of reasons, we could go with a half wave antenna, at 2.5mm, but that’s still in the range of flyswatter bait, rather than RNA. I know! quarter wave antennae are common, so 1.25mm wave antennae, so the magical RNA finger virus is the size of a gnat and does magic like it’s controlled by gigahertz radiation that has magically transformed from 1.25 mm to 10 – 100 kilometer wavelength signals, all being equal or maybe the distance between the earth and moon are only couple of mm or something!

    And all of this is “known” because of… reasons, one need not ask what the voices in the maniac’s head are saying, hand wave.

    BTW, do you have recall elections? The poor chap certainly needs professional mental health care guidance and a class in biology and physics at at least the high school level.

    As for 5G, sounds great, right until you realize that regular cellular repeaters have always suffered from the NAMBY syndrome, yet the complainers about said repeaters then bitch and moan about no cellular signal and now the pathway to success is even a higher density of 5 mm wavelength repeaters?
    Yeah, OK, whatever the proponent says, reality isn’t real, their visions are real – pipedreams, especially when they go on about rural reception, which just ain’t gonna happen due to cost.

  10. vucodlak says

    An assassination is a targeted killing for political reasons. Killing a bunch of random harmless people, who were just going about their lives, for no apparent or logical reason isn’t “basically remote assassination.” It’s nation building.

  11. says

    60Ghz mm 5G

    “mm”??? What the fuck is that about? 60Ghz, by expressing the frequency, simultaneously expresses the wavelength. And, btw, the wavelength wouldn’t be 60 giga-millimeters either. It wouldn’t even be 60 millimeters. It would be 5 millimeters, so this is a millimetric band, but still…???

    Either I’m missing something or the person who crafted that conspiracy theory doesn’t know what a millimeter is.

  12. says

    @#20, Crip Dyke:

    Just to check, I popped “wavelength of 5G” into Google, and it looks like the standard “I don’t actually understand science but I write about it for a living” tech writer line is to describe 5G phone signals with both the frequency and the phrase “millimeter wave technology”. So somebody who not only doesn’t understand science but also isn’t even talking to engineers directly like tech writers do would probably think that tossing the terms together as a word salad sounded extra science-y and high-tech.

  13. robro says

    Crip Dyke @ #20 — They don’t have to know anything about millimeters, wave lengths, vaccines or any of the other things wrapped into that message. It’s relatively easy for a troll farm to automate pumping out aggregated bullshit that has the tone and characteristics of a conspiracy theory. Then, they monitor reactions…for and against, spread, etc…to determine who to target, where to target, and what to target with. It’s a sophisticated use of marketing intelligence techniques to manipulate various segments of public opinion.

  14. Larry says

    @ #17

    Killing a bunch of random harmless people, who were just going about their lives, for no apparent or logical reason isn’t “basically remote assassination.” It’s nation building.

    You got me with your final words. I thought you were gonna call the killing of a bunch of random people “standing up for your 2nd amendment rights”.

  15. jrkrideau says

    @ 20 Cripe Dyke

    Either I’m missing something or the person who crafted that conspiracy theory doesn’t know what a millimeter is.

    Did you not get the memo? The metric system is a fiendish plot to weaken true patriots.

  16. Pierce R. Butler says

    One of my area’s more active conspiracist wingnuts has recently posted articles claiming that COVID-19 was a bioweapon purchased from the US by China; that the Florida Dept of Health refuses to divulge what steps it is taking to protect public health (he may well have a point there – our governor is a teabagger Trumpista); and that the whole story is a psyops hoax.

    I eagerly await tomorrow’s bulletins!

  17. davidnangle says

    I keep trying to float my conspiracy theory to see if I get any traction: Multiple powerful industries are incinerating petroleum distillates and spewing the exhaust all over the atmosphere, which will cause widespread problems. And they’re just doing it for money.

    But it’s hopeless trying to spread this theory.. No one with any political power believes it.

  18. fishy says

    I’ve seen these sorts of things in laundromats I frequent on the bulletin boards. I usually do what I do with copies of the Watchtower and throw them in the trash.
    These days most people I see have their faces pointed at their phones and have little interest in anything outside of that sphere.
    There was a time when I would buy a newspaper and leave it sitting out wondering if anyone would read it. It was a rare occasion when someone would. Once, on a Sunday, an older couple came in and tore the thing apart, spreading it out on a folding table. They seemed to savor every section. It made me both happy and sad.

  19. astringer says

    Call Mr Picky, but 60 GHz mm is a velocity. its…hmm… about 6×10^7 m/s. My god, that’s 20% the speed of light; it must be how fast they can go in their space ship! Or something.

  20. lucifersbike says

    I hear stuff like this when I’m interpreting for psychiatrists and patients with psychosis – usually in the cosy setting of an NHS secure unit with tea and biscuits (cookies). From a professional point of view, it is challenging and rewarding work, but after an hour or so my brain feels as if it has been lightly poached. I wonder how many of the folk who post stuff like this have an undiagnosed mental illness.

  21. Pierce R. Butler says

    brightmoon @ # 39: “ Coronavirus is a hoax “ Is he really THAT stupid ?

    Yes and no:

    … he did not appear to be saying that the novel Coronavirus itself didn’t exist. He was saying that the public discussion of it by Democrats was “the hoax.”

  22. wzrd1 says

    @21, consider that 5mm wavelength, even using a quarter wave antenna, a bunch of virii could easily suffocate you! Better get a flyswatter!
    Or perhaps better, a wet trout for whoever came up with that claptrap.

    I do have fun with chemtrails, as there really is such a thing, even if innocuous. The retired SR-71 and still in occasional use U-2 use a special fuel, which has additives that lower the exhaust visibility on radar. Lousy is the spy that leaves a flaming finger of god pointed at their exhaust ports!

  23. Pierce R. Butler says

    Re: me @ # 29 –

    The Coronavirus Pandemic is fake!

    Also, 5.5 hours later, “Coronavirus Traced to Rothschild & British Crown”

    So now that we know, what are we going to DO about it??!?

  24. harveycooper says

    They were accomplished using an aluminum slider-bar mounted to a tripod that I could shoot the same image using controlled lighting with, generating each eye’s view. It was a fun hack. The images were a pain to post-work since I had to do clean-up on 2 images but maintain the same adjustments so that nothing would pop off the picture. Even small pixel changes can wreck the effect………………w­­­­­­­w­­­­­­­w­­­­­­­.­­­­­­­F­­­­­­­o­­­­­­­x­­­­­­­1­­­­­­­2­­­­­­­0­­­­­­­.c­­­­­­­o­­­­­­­m