It’s like a nonsensical fantasy novel

I have sad news, everyone. Ken Ham has finally blocked me on Twitter, so now I’m getting all the humorous Answers in Genesis news second hand…like this glorious announcement. The Ark Park has a new exhibit! It’s a diorama showing the wicked antediluvian humans putting on gladiatorial games, with dinosaurs.


That is so damned Biblical that I think I shat out a prophet while I was laughing so hard.

Although, I have to admit that it is amazingly cinematic. Imagine how much better the gladiator scenes in HBO’s Rome or that Spartacus series would have been if they’d occasionally brought a T. rex into the arena.

It also reminds me of the fabulous (in all meanings of the word) Jim Pinkoski, he of pygmies and dwarfs fame, who invented this spectacular scene for the end of his Noah’s Ark comic book in which fallen angels mounted on dinosaurs attacked the Ark to prevent it from sailing.


Religion just means that you get to make everything up.


  1. says

    Uh, the diorama appears to display bronze (and maybe steel!?) armor, as well as an assyrian-style compound recurve bow. Did the antedeluvians get their technology from the pyramid-builders? Or was the flood in the 2nd millenium BC? It’s a surprise that none of the metal artifacts displayed in the diorama survived; maybe Noah lost them, or something.

    PS – horse bows imply horse archers. I wanna see a saddle on that dinosaur, stat!

  2. cgm3 says

    But where are the unbridled orgies and acts of sexual perversion that, countless preachers have assured us, were the reason Yahweh drowned all but an insignificant fraction of humanity? Darn it, I want my sexual perversions!

    If nothing else, that would probably attract a lot more visitors…

  3. cartomancer says

    Gladiatorial games are attested in the archaeological record no earlier than the 4th century BC. They probably originated in Campania as a form of funerary ritual, and were imported to Rome later on (Livy says the first Roman games were held in 264 BC). Beast-hunts (venationes) are a later innovation still – they only really became a thing once the Romans had conquered parts of Africa.

    The model in the picture seems to have drawn inspiration in its artistic panels from the Minoan bull-leaping ritual, but that was a very different spectacle indeed (about noble youths showing their athletic prowess, not about military still and conquest).

    Also… velociraptors in the Ancient Near East? I thought they were found in Mongolia?

  4. cartomancer says

    I have to ask as well… isn’t this the Ken Ham who insists that every word of his precious bible is true and literal and accurate? Where in any of that confection of nonsense does it mention antediluvian dino-gladiators? (aspiring metal bands looking for a name can have that one for free).

  5. busterggi says

    I understand that Ham is upset because the fake crowd in the diorama is larger than the real crowd at his park.

  6. davidc1 says

    Followed the link back to Raw Story ,in the comments section someone has posted a photo of a certain Dr riding a Dinosaur .
    Ride him doc .

  7. Usernames! (╯°□°)╯︵ ʎuʎbosıɯ says

    ~ isn’t this the Ken Ham who insists that every word of his precious bible is true and literal and accurate?
    — cartomancer (#10)

    If he does, he’s going to have a very hard—most would say ‘impossible’—time reconciling Matthew 28, John 20, Mark 16 and Luke 24:

    * how many women/who went to the sepulchre? (Mary Magdalene, Mary Magdalene + the ‘other’ Mary, Mary Magdalene + Mary mother of James + Salome, Mary Magdalene + Mary mother of James + Joanna + ‘other women’)

    * what did they find? (one man sitting; two men standing; two angels: 1 standing, 1 sitting)

    Where in any of that confection of nonsense does it mention antediluvian dino-gladiators?

    Oh, you can add whatever you want and it doesn’t make the existing poorly-translated, forged, transcription of 50 years of oral stories any wronger.

  8. yazikus says

    Ah, Pinkoski! I actually own that book. I purchased it after I was lectured about the ‘nasty, evil dinosaurs’ by a Very Nice Lady ™. After blinking in surprise I encouraged her to elaborate. It is an SDA thing, apparently.

  9. says

    @cartomancer, it does not look like velociraptor, but more like carnotaurus. However this is pure fantasy nevertheless, the artist probably just went looking for a dinosaur design that looked fancy, historical accuracy was not an issue. It never is in Ken Hams team.

  10. yoav says

    Given his unparalleled understanding in yuuuge boats I’m surprised Trump haven’t nominated porky to the be secretary of the navy. Think of all the money you can save by replacing the thousand of workers and all the machines you currently need to build a ship with a 600 year old and some hand tools.

  11. multitool says

    The way this is going, Christianity will be unrecognizable in 100 years.

    The Bible will become the Book of Evil Gay Penises and Dinosaurs on Motorcycles.

  12. emergence says

    Creationists believe this kind of shit, and they have the nerve to call evolution a “fairytale for grown-ups”. One of the most annoying things about religious fundamentalists and conservatives in general is the lack of self-awareness.