I can’t be the only one who finds this Christmas carol unlikely

I’m not!

Now we just have to deconstruct and destroy all that other crap I get inundated with at this time of year, and people will stop playing them.


  1. says

    It’s Colly Birds, not calling birds. Or in common parlance, blackbirds. Colly means “black as coal.”

    And the five gold rings are supposed to be ring-necked birds of some kind; so she has even more avian troubles than you might think.

  2. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    yeah, i just repeated the childhood exercise of adding up the total number of “gifts” the song bestows. 360 !!!
    off to google the dates of the 12 days (I seem to remember it as: dec 25 – Jan 6 ? Jan6 being not 12th but cleanup day?) off to google
    re @1:
    thanks for that. nice bit of trivia to know “Calling” is really a mispronunciation of “Colly”.
    ♫ 5 g♫old rings♫. lol. I always mashed it into ♫ 5 golden things♫
    Like Lewis Carrol’s “Door mouse” is really “Dour Mouse”
    The english language pronunciation slides around so muoch.(so to speak)
    [listen to Tim Curry in RHPS, where every word with the dipthong “ou” is pronounced like “i”]

  3. says

    I rather like the Twelve Days After Christmas, wherein she returns (or chops up, wrings the neck of, etc) all the gifts…apart from one of the drummers (for some unstated reason).

  4. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    here is what google gave as an answer:

    The traditional Christian celebration of Christmas is exactly the opposite. The season of Advent begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas, and for nearly a month Christians await the coming of Christ in a spirit of expectation, singing hymns of longing. Then, on December 25, Christmas Day itself ushers in 12 days of celebration, ending only on January 6 with the feast of the Epiphany.

    — from a site that shall remain nameless (christianitytoday).
    Sounds like our tradition of starting the Xmas season mere instants after Thanksgiving has a long history and not just modern commercialism.
    oh and remember, Epiphany was circumcision day (as I was taught by the RCC).
    so yeah Xmas is a pretty (literally) bloody holyday. Krampus only appeared in Medieval (mid evil ?) times.

  5. says

    Narrated by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, creator, writer, and star of the best new comedy of 2016 — Fleabag, available on Amazon Prime Video in the US and BBC Three in the UK.

    Unless you’re easily offended by frank talk about sex, go watch it now.

  6. eamick says


    Like Lewis Carrol’s “Door mouse” is really “Dour Mouse”

    “Door mouse”? It was dormouse, which is the name of a real rodent.

  7. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    re @8
    got me! my mistake. seriously, what I wrote really was a typo. to clarify, maybe it was only me who always hear the poem referring to “door mouse” and wandering what kind of mouse that was.
    Much later, I discovered that it was actually “dormouse” and read about that being an actual variety of rodent.
    The pronunciation of the two is the same so confusion resulted.
    Thanks for the correction.

  8. says

    @slithey tove #5 – The Feast of the Circumcision was New Year’s Day, the eighth day after Jesus’ birth and when, according to Jewish law, all male children were required to undergo genital mutilation. Originally, the Epiphany (from Greek, meaning “manifestation”) celebrated all of the times when Jesus’ deity was revealed to the mortal world, particularly the Baptism; eventually, though, all of these other events were moved to their own holy days, leaving the Visit of the Magi on January 6 as the sole survivor.

    And speaking of the Feast of the Circumcision, at one point 18 different churches around Europe claimed to have Jesus’ foreskin. The RCC got so embarrassed over this that mentioning the Holy Prepuce was made an excommunicable offense in 1900, and Pope John XXIII quietly excised the feast from the church’s calendar in 1960,

  9. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    re 14:
    [let me add this little ditty attempt]

    ♫ When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, ♫
    ♫ but a miniature TARDIS, ♫ and eight tiny Dalek ♫,
    ♫ with a feisty old driver, ♫ so lively and quick, ♫
    ♫ I knew in a moment ♫ it must be ♫ TimeLord Who ♫.

    rats, 1st try. back to drawing board…?

  10. Rob Grigjanis says

    The Twelve Days of Anything (original or parody) should be banned, shunned, expunged with extreme prejudice. It’s torture, not music. I still have nightmares about a folk music night at a student pub with some wanker singing The Twelve Days of Marxmas. Fuckety fuck.

    Here’s a lovely carol.

  11. Rowan vet-tech says

    So apparently my work place is the *only* place for about 8 large cities to bring their wildlife today. Everywhere else is closed.
    We’ve started creating a depressing version of the song here. I bet we can get a few more lines before my shift ends at 8:30.

    Ooooon the 24th of December the ACOs brought to meeeeee…. 3 broken wings and a possuuuuum hit by aaaa caaaaaaar.

    Poor little gull, ruby-throat hummingbird, and black capped sparrow. :/