SyFy must die

Is it possible to take out a hit on a channel? Last night I skipped through a few television channels and was briefly intrigued to see A Princess of Mars on SyFy! I had to watch a few minutes to discover that it was a heretical abomination which must be burned and its television creators hunted down and punished. I saw enough to notice that:

  • The green Martians were made up with some cheesy lumpy appliance over their heads; their tusks wobbled like rubber every time they talked.
  • The green Martians had only two arms. Two! They were also runts, far short of 12 feet tall. I tuned out before I could see how amputated the banths or calots were.
  • Dejah Thoris was not naked. Nor red. And she was played by Traci Lords, who looked exhausted beyond her years.
  • The dialogue was hokey beyond belief…aw, OK. They get a pass on that. That was true to the book.

The horror. My father was a major fan of Burroughs’ works, and I grew up on Tarzan and John Carter. I cannot believe the botch SyFy made of the story, ripping all the romance and exotic weirdness out of it.

It’s also sad because there are rumors of a big budget version in the works; let’s hope this quickie lump of SyFy emesis does not chill the market for it.


Just to add to the sadness, while looking for a few of the classic images of Burroughs’ Barsoom, I learned that Frank Frazetta died just last month. Noooo!

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Minchin morning

At the youtube page for this video, it’s recommended that you buy his DVD. I agree! I want it! But, unfortunately, I only found one Minchin DVD at Amazon, and it won’t play in the US. Any suggestions? Anyone? When I see Tim Minchin in London in the fall, do I have to beat him up, steal his computer, bootleg everything he has encoded on it, and get rich selling the stolen data on the internet? No, that wouldn’t be nice at all, especially since he’d probably beat me up and then write a satirical song about me that would mean I could never leave my house ever again.

Where’s the Minchin HBO special?

Wake up from Slumberland

I was catching up on Narbonic this morning, and she linked to an animated Little Nemo cartoon by Winsor McCay — from 1911. I was impressed. We all need a little hundred-year-old psychedelia to start the morning.

McCay was a pioneer of animation — you might also enjoy the famous Gertie the Dinosaur, or even the rather jingoistic Sinking of the Lusitania. They’re all a bit quaint and slow-moving by modern standards, but then again, you have to appreciate that each frame was hand drawn and hand colored by McCay himself — it took him a year to make a 5-minute cartoon.

We’ll mess up polls anywhere, even Lexington, Kentucky

I was asked to help skew a ‘reader’s choice’ award in Kentucky—you know, that state with a Creation “Museum”—and I’m always happy to help rub Kentucky’s nose in its religiosity, and helping an atheist blog acquire some notoriety sounds like an excellent idea.

All you have to do is go to this list of categories, scroll down about halfway, and where it says “local media personality (newspaper, TV, radio, blogger)”, answer “Larry Wallberg”. They’ll be mystified.

If you want to freak them out some more, scroll down near the bottom to “place of worship”, and answer “none”.

Unfortunately, there’s no ongoing tracking of the poll results, so we’ll have to wait until the end of the month to find out if we were successful. I’m sure Larry Wallberg will let us know.

Who reads Dear Abby anymore?

I guess Zeno does. Good thing, too, or we would have missed this gem of inanity.

Someone writes in, worried that after they’re dead, the ghosts of her parents and in-laws might follow her around, watching her have sex or go to the bathroom or other such private matters. Who knew the dead were all voyeurs? Anyway, Abby offers some dubious advice.

Calm down. The departed sometimes “visit” those with whom their souls were intertwined, but usually it’s to offer strength, solace and reassurance during difficult times. If your mother-in-law’s spirit visits you while you’re intimate with her son, it will be only to wish you and her son many more years of closeness and happiness in your marriage.

As to your parents, when they travel to the hereafter, I am sure they’ll have more pleasant things with which to occupy their time than spying on you. So hold a good thought and quit worrying.

How does she know?

I’m really impressed that she reassures a woman worried about being spied upon by her mother-in-law’s ghost by telling her that sure, the old lady might pop by while her son is humping away, but it would only be to cheer the couple along. Yeah, what a consoling thought — next time you’re having sex, imagine your mother-in-law’s spirit there, whispering in your ear with advice. “Harder, harder!” or “Now do that thing with your tongue…he really likes that.” Ewwww.

At least now I remember why I don’t read Dear Abby.

Templeton gets an invigorating massage, with a little deep pressure and an occasional gentle thump

The Nation has published an extremely generous profile of the Templeton Foundation. I’m trying to be charitable about it, but there’s little here that the Templeton itself will find objectionable — it’s one more swoop of the brush in an effort to always whitewash the foundation as sober, sensible, and serious, instead of the nest of delusional religious apologists that it actually is…apologists with astounding quantities of money and a willingness to spend it freely to promote its superstitious agenda.

For instance, it describes the founder, John Templeton, in terms that make him sound like a nice guy, open-minded and inquisitive, perhaps also eccentric and naive. From all I’ve heard, he probably was a very nice fellow, but he also had his weird ideological obsession, and his eclectic approach to religion makes him a very flaky dingleberry. He was a gentle-hearted kook with lots of money.

He’s dead now, and control has passed to his son.

Jack Templeton is little like his father. While the elder Templeton’s writings venture into the poetic and speculative, his son’s read like a medical report. Jack displays admirable filial loyalty, evident most of all in his decades-long leadership of the foundation under his father’s guidance; he has been president since it began, serving full time since he left a successful pediatric surgery practice in 1995. His memoir begins and ends with lessons his father taught him and is suffused by, as he put it, “a struggle to find acceptance and approval in my father’s eyes.”

Only now, though, are we beginning to learn how that struggle will express itself in his father’s absence. With Harper gone, and his replacement yet to be announced, there is a vacuum at the top. It is, says physicist and trustee Paul Davies, “an anxious time.” What seems to have people there most on edge right now, though, is not so much science as politics. In this respect too, the younger Templeton differs in kind from his father. He has financed a right-wing organization of his own, Let Freedom Ring, which once promoted the “Templeton Curve,” a graph he designed to advocate privatizing Social Security. Now Let Freedom Ring lends support to the Tea Party movement. Jack Templeton’s money has also gone to the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth and to ads by the neoconservative group Freedom’s Watch. In 2008 he and his wife gave more than $1 million to support California’s Proposition 8, which banned same-sex marriage.

That is not reassuring. Give it a few years, and I’m willing to bet that the Templeton Foundation will be getting far more attentive to the Teabaggers, and then we’ll be facing a major money institution run by a narrow-minded conservative religious zealot. We should be strangling this evil baby now.

But, you know, even if it were in the hands of gentle liberal Christians who also advocated equality and civil rights instead of opposing them, it’s still an organization dedicated to injecting foolishness into the scientific enterprise, throwing money at cronies willing to put a soft and accommodating polish on science that undermines their biases. Yet this article oozes softly over that fundamental issue; it has only brief comments from Richard Dawkins, Sean Carroll, and Harry Kroto. We really don’t need more funding for garbage science selected for its appeasement of religion, and that’s all we’re going to get from Templeton, because it is not dedicated to science, its sole goal is propaganda.

And this conclusion is pure gushing BS.

John Templeton built a place where the right’s hardened partisans, like Dreher and Rosen, can settle down and turn to life’s real Big Questions, in peace, for all mankind. But the foundation meanwhile has associated itself with political and religious forces that cause it to be perceived as threatening the integrity of science and protecting the religious status quo. This is quite the reverse of the founder’s most alluring hope: a spirituality finally worthy of our scientific achievements. As a result of such alliances, though, the foundation is also better positioned than most to foster a conservatism–and a culture generally–that holds the old habits of religions and business responsible to good evidence, while helping scientists better speak to people’s deepest concerns. On issues that range from climatology to stem cells, science has too often taken a back seat to the whims of politics, and Templeton’s peculiar vision offers a welcome antidote to that. To live up to this calling, Big Questions are one thing; but the foundation will have to stand up for tough answers, too, as it did when announcing the findings of a major study that intercessory prayer doesn’t improve medical outcomes, or when rebuking intelligent design.

What ‘deepest concerns’? Pandering to religious biases and reassuring people that their faith in angels is reasonable is not addressing a concern, it’s surrendering to it. I agree that science has been buffeted by the whims of politics, but I fear the whims of religion as much, if not more — and as we can see in the instance of Jack Templeton, religion and politics are not separable.

I am also not at all impressed with the occasional admission of failed politico-religious strategies, like prayer studies and ID. These are tactical retreats where they recognize that progress for their agenda cannot be made, but it doesn’t change their overall intent in the slightest. And, as usual for this kind of insidious religious apologetics, the goal isn’t to find clear answers to anything, but to blur all of the edges and foment further doubt and ignorance, because that is where religious wishy-washiness thrives best.

The rot beneath the sunny facade

Is there some kind of competition here? Are states vying for the title of most screwed up, repulsive state in the nation? ‘Cause Arizona is really working hard to make Texas look sane.

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An Arizona elementary school mural featuring the faces of kids who attend the school has been the subject of constant daytime drive-by racist screaming, from adults, as well as a radio talk-show campaign (by an actual city councilman, who has an AM talk-radio show) to remove the black student’s face from the mural, and now the school principal has ordered the faces of the Latino and Black students pictured on the school wall to be repainted as light-skinned children.

Hang on. Seriously? This is unbelievable.

The radio station in question is one of those AM talk radio horrors that spews conservative poison into the air all day long, with the likes of Limbaugh and Savage and Hannity. Steve Blair is just another loud-mouthed racist in the stable of angry white jerks. Blair has been fired by the radio station; he’s now claiming that he was just disliking the artistic quality of the mural and its prominent placement, which does make one wonder why in his comments on air were preceded by saying “I am not a racist individual” and then focused his complaints on the portrayal of a “black guy in the middle of that mural”.

The citizens of Prescott can hang their heads in shame, too. You people listen to these low-life scum? You drive by the mural and shout “Nigger!” and “Spic!” out your car windows? That’s the impression the rest of the country now has. Just firing the one bigot who inflames this stuff on the radio is not quite enough to compensate.

There’s one group of people, though, who I particularly despise: cowardly school administrators.

Wall [director of the city mural project] said school Principal Jeff Lane pressed him to make the children’s faces appear happier and brighter.

“It is being lightened because of the controversy,” Wall said, adding that “they want it to look like the children are coming into light.”

Lane said that he received only three complaints about the mural and that his request for a touch-up had nothing to do with political pressure. “We asked them to fix the shading on the children’s faces,” he said. “We were looking at it from an artistic view. Nothing at all to do with race.”

Because, heaven knows, darker complexions always look so glum and dull. Look at that section of the mural up there; does the brown child on the right look sad or stupid? If he does, how will making him pink correct the problem?

Gaaah. This country enrages me.