1. ryanm says

    Hell, I’d take those Mormons…finally, 12 men I wouldn’t get pissed at for being in a missionary position.

  2. clinteas says

    the satirical Christian website, Ship of Fools, has published its annual selection of religious-themed gifts spotted on sale, such as these nativity ducks.

    I love it !Ship of fools,hehehe….

    should I get my wife the “Men on a Mission” calendar?

    In the tradition of the bobbing boobs thread,did you mean the “man in missionary” calender?

  3. DaveInAustin says

    I think that “Men on a Mission” calendar is part of the Mormons’ outreach to calm the No On 8 crowd.

    Also of ironic note.. “why have a fairy on the tree when you can have a bishop?” That’s a softball setup if I’ve ever seen one.

  4. says

    I think those men in the calendar got in trouble after the Mormon leaders (after consulting with god, of course) criticized the pics. No magic underwear!

    But really, is any of that crap sillier than a cracker?

  5. wazza says

    What does the blessing keyring say when you turn on that handy LED light? Something from Genesis, I guess…

  6. says

    I rather liked 7th day… John Calvin chocolates:

    Yes, next year is the 500th anniversary of the joyous birth of the man who gave the world Calvinism. John Calvin is 500! And what better way to celebrate the birth of the dour, ascetic Reformer than by getting a Swiss chocolatier to create a luxury box of chocs?
    … we’re looking forward to: … Caramelised Heretic Crunch, Religious Nut Whirl, Chocolate Heaven Surprise (the surprise being that you can’t get into it), and No Liberal Fudge.

  7. says

    I love kitsch. Religious kitsch, however, is even better. At one time, it inspired (or at least paid for) some of the greatest works of art to come out of Europe. Now Christianity is the muse behind rubber ducks. Brilliant.

  8. negentropyeater says

    The number of websites that sell the St Joseph house selling kit is quite impressive ! Prices seem to vary between $3.49 and $29.99.

    I wonder if the more expensive kits work better ?

    I found this gem on a Creotard site :

    Even Real Estate Agents promote this oddity. Kelly Jordan is a realtor with Mays Realty Group. Kelly had a sister who told her about the statue decades ago. When a client has a problem selling their home she asks if it is O.K. if she buries the plastic statue in their yard? Jordan claims she has seen it work many times except in the case of one owner where their dog dug up St. Joseph and chewed him up. The house is still for sale.

  9. Patricia says

    #15 – iwdw – Thanks for that 1962 link. Don’t have time to study it now, but I’ll predict that in about a week after everyone else has forgotten about the subject Piltdown Man will dredge it up again.

    Off to Market I go!

  10. Quidam says

    I know someone who would really appreciate the nativity ducks.

    Mary & Jesus – Check
    Joseph – Check
    Three Magi – Check
    Sheep – Check

    But can anyone tell me what the spotty one is supposed to be?


  11. says

    can anyone tell me what the spotty one is supposed to be?
    From 12th day… Nativity rubber ducks:

    Featuring: Joseph sporting a Beatles moptop… three bird-brained wise men, the famous spotted duck of Bethlehem, …
    Best of all, there’s the duck at the back who’s been crossed with a sheep. Perhaps he’s the smartest of the lot. He’s probably realized the awful truth – that for ducks, the future isn’t bright. The future’s à l’orange.

    Famous spotted duck of Bethlehem? Not known to fecking teh gay liberal interwebs.

  12. says

    Actually I like the ducks. I live in DuPage County, Illinois and there’s a sci-fi convention called DucKon. My friends, who are organizers of the convention, have rubber duckies around their home and is part of a running joke at the convention. I’m very tempted to get it for them as a gag gift.

  13. JenWolf says

    Hey, when I go to the website to buy the rubber duck nativity, it doesn’t include the spotted duck. Just Mary, Joseph, the three Wise Guys, and a sheep. What gives?

  14. Dust says

    If you look the right of page click the Winning Captions link. Here is the description of the picture This week’s picture is an artist’s impression of a new species of pterosaur, which has been uncovered by scientists, illustrating how big the pterosaur would have been.

    Try it! You’ll like it!

  15. says

    FWIW, I won’t even click on a Fox link if I know it is a Fox link beforehand. Nor do I usually take (waste) the time to deconstruct their ongoing nonsense, but I guess I’m glad that some still go through the trouble. It’s just validation for the asshats that their nonsense still has an audience.


    P.S. The nation’s longest active high school football winning streak ended on a frigid Friday night in Jackson in a game those in attendance will long remember.

    Meridian beat South Panola 26-20.

    Panola’s streak of 89 wins….pfftt.

  16. Dust says

    Me, your humble servant Dust, start another pun thread? My filling are hurt and I’ll just waddle on out of here.

  17. Grook says

    So according the ship of fools website, a “caganer” is an addition to the manger scene who sits in a corner and takes a shit. It’s actually a tradition in Catalonia, and the Catalonians gut upset if their public nativity scene doesn’t have one. I think a caganer is exactly what the nativity scene in the Washington capitol building needs. After all, it is traditional.

  18. Owlmirror says

    I see what you are trying to start there Dust.

    That’s a base canard, accusing someone of fowl play.

  19. Dust says

    In the early ’90s my then boss was a devout Mormon who in his office had a calendar of BYU young nubile female coeds in their magic underwear. Interestingly, the magic underwear all looked like bikinis!

    I guess magic undies just ain’t what it used to be. So it seems to me, the Men on a Mission is just a case of ‘Whats good for the Goose is Good for the Gander!’

  20. Lulu says

    To set the record straight, the creator of the Men on a Mission calendar has been excommunicated from LDS because of this, and if you read the website (, while the individuals in there are devoted to their faith, they’ve all expressed a mature commitment to liberalizing their faith, being open about their bodies, and so forth. They may be wrong, but they’re less wrong than, say, the Prop 8 people, and they’re actively trying to change how their church works.

    The profits also go to causes in the areas they served in. I’m actually okay with most of the idea of Mormon mission trips, from a pragmatic or utilitarian perspective. They go out and help people, and most people affected positively still don’t become Mormon. It’s pretty benign.

    Not to say we ought to become happy relativists, but practically speaking, I think it behooves the atheist (or at least me, the atheist) to reach out to people actively trying to make their intolerant churches less intolerant.

  21. Quidam says

    Ahah You can get the ducky nativity from Amazon. But it doesn’t include the famous spotted duck of Bethlehem. However you can also get many other traditional Christmas ducks, Santa, reindeer, nutcracker, snowmen, church-mice, carol singers etc. Not one of the Holy Spirit duck actually impregnating the Mary duck though. I see a market opportunity. I’m ducking sure that would sell

  22. andyo says

    Posted by:
    Emmet Caulfield |
    December 6, 2008 10:20 AM

    They make the “Buddy Jesus” statue in Dogma look positively tasteful in comparison.

    Come on. It’s Buddy Christ. Get the name straight, dammit!

    Seriously people, can you say collector’s items? I mean, “Say-a-blessing”, Jesus shaved mug. The card rosary is genius! I should have thought of that.

  23. negentropyeater says


    I live in Barcelona, and this afternoon was walking my dog in front of the Cathedral where they sell loads of the most kitcshy looking caganers and it seems the Obama-defecating-caganer is one of the most popular this year.

    Apparently, the next American POTUS’s feces will bring us luck and propserity !

  24. SC says

    I wasn’t aware that you celebrated Christmas Mr. Myers?

    Was that a question, Ms. Smith? Don’t ask him – only you would know the answer.

  25. Dust says

    While I find the Christmas season just ducky, flocking to the mall makes me feel sheehish.

    I do like un-wrapping presents though, it gives me something to crow about.

  26. Don says

    From the Archie McPhee site where you can buy St. Joseph (and many other strange things – check out Nunzilla). The prayer to use.

    Most holy St. Joseph, I beseech thee to intercede on my behalf to help me find a worthy buyer for my home, preferably one who will pay full price and waive inspection. Amen

    Once the property has sold, dig up the figure unless you want the property to change hands again quickly. Once St. Joseph gets going, it’s hard to get him to stop.

  27. Carlie says

    Not one of the Holy Spirit duck actually impregnating the Mary duck though.

    You can come close to the experience (I presume) with this ducky. (SFW) It also comes in a devil version.

  28. Dust says

    Carlie @57 You can come close to the experience (I presume) with this ducky.

    According to the Amazon web site, folks who bought that ducky also bought THE ORGASM BIBLE

    Now that’s a holey book!

  29. mirele says

    Chad Hardy (the guy who put out the Men on a Mission calendar) has gotten into trouble for it. He got the left foot of fellowship (as in “excommunicated”) from the Mormon Church in midsummer, but was allowed to graduate with his class from Brigham Young University (BYU) in August. He didn’t get his diploma, and he received a letter dated Sept. 30 saying that since he had an “honor code” problem at the time of graduation (that would be his excommunication), he wouldn’t be receiving the diploma.

    Hardy’s engaged a lawyer, who has sent demand letters to the LDS Church and BYU. Basically, all he wants is his diploma. From reading the lawyer letters, it sounds to me that Hardy might move forward with a defamation suit against the Church if he doesn’t get the diploma, as well as a standard contract violation suit against BYU. (It’s fairly complicated, I’d advise those curious to go to to read the letters.)

    So, yeah, it may be kitschy, but it did have consequences. Hardy says he plans to put out a calendar of scantily-clad women in 2010 called “Mormon Muffins” or some such, including recipes. HEH!

  30. says

    So, yeah, it may be kitschy, but it did have consequences. Hardy says he plans to put out a calendar of scantily-clad women in 2010 called “Mormon Muffins” or some such, including recipes. HEH!


  31. Amy Smith says

    In what way is CHRISTmas a secular holiday? For what reason would you celebrate the birth of Christ?

  32. John Morales says

    Amy Smith @64, it’s both secular and religious (and pagan, for that matter). The current name is because Christians renamed an existing holiday back when, but now even non-Christian nations use it as a holiday.

  33. Owlmirror says

    In what way is CHRISTmas a secular holiday? For what reason would you celebrate the birth of Christ?

    The name is irrelevant. It’s not necessarily for the birth of Christ.

    It’s the federal recognition that matters.

    If you don’t want Christmas to be a secular holiday, argue with the government to make Dec. 25 just be an ordinary day.

    Then you can celebrate Christmas as a Christian religious holiday all you want.

    Of course, that still won’t make Christmas solely Christians. If atheists still want to put up a tree and lights and celebrate solstice, that’s their right. There just won’t be a paid holiday for it.

  34. says

    In what way is CHRISTmas a secular holiday? For what reason would you celebrate the birth of Christ?

    well, pagan to begin with, stolen by christians and then secularized by the rest of us. I sure celebrate it in very secular ways.

    including much drinking and eating and occasional naked runs through the park.

    Ooops. I’ve said too much.

  35. Nerd of Redhead says

    Amy, by the description in the bible, Jesus, if he existed, was probably born sometime in the spring. The early church coopted the Roman holiday Saturnalia just to have a church celebration in place of pagan one.

  36. Sastra says

    Amy Smith #64 wrote:

    In what way is CHRISTmas a secular holiday? For what reason would you celebrate the birth of Christ?

    Easter comes from the Goddess Estre, Saint Valentine’s Day was named after a Catholic saint, and Hallow Ween means — well, whatever it meant. Xmas works as well a Christmas. The word has a Christian root in it. Thursday names a Norse God. Big deal.

    The true meaning of Christmas as celebrated today goes beyond buying and spending. It has to do with friends, family, fellowship and food. Peace on earth. Good will to all. Charity towards the poor, and beauty in the midst of the cold and the dark. All of those things are from this world. They’re not exclusive to any religious viewpoint or opinion. They’re secular. Based on what we can all see, feel, and live.

    To Christians, this is because of the birth of Christ. To nonchristians and secular humanists, it’s because of the human condition, and choosing to celebrate the best of ourselves. Jesus is not the reason for the season. The solstice — and people – are.

    We take the Christ out of Christmas, and guess what? It comes anyway. The Grinch learned that it wasn’t the presents — and Christians are learning that it isn’t Jesus either.

    It comes down to love, really. ;)

    That’s bigger than God.

  37. Owlmirror says

    Hallow Ween means — well, whatever it meant.

    Halloween → Hallowe’en → Hallow even → [All] Hallow[s] Eve[ning] → The evening before All Hallows ( Hallow = archaic word for saint )

    → The evening before the feast for all saints (who do not have a feast day during the rest of the calendar year)(and has also become the feast of all souls, in remembrance of the dead)

    The “real” holiday was (and is, in Catholic places that celebrate it) November 1, sometimes through Nov 3.


  38. Beth Nott says

    I like how the shaved Jesus looks sort of like Hare Krishna.

    Oh, and the guys on the calendar do not resemble typical Mormon missionaries. Their legendary nerdiness does not come just from the mission suits. It’s the bad haircuts done for free by church ladies, the clueless goofy grins, and the smell. Polyester, moth balls and who knows what else. Eeeeeeew.