And South Carolina must be the most blessed state in the whole blessed union

Speaking of too incredibly stupid to be believed, here’s a candidate for Lieutenant Governor of the fine state of South Carolina.

“I think everything ought to be taught … and let people decide for themselves. There is no science to support trans-species changes, in other words, a monkey becoming a man,” the Republican said in an interview Monday with The Associated Press.

“A bunch of amoebas didn’t get together and design all this,” Jordan said, referring to the human body. “We’d be operating on people … looking at their hearts, their liver and their lungs, I’d tell the techs, ‘Can you believe those little amoebas figured all this out?’

“I mean you’ve got to be stupid to believe in evolution, I mean really,” he said.

He’s a medical doctor, as you can tell, and you can also tell from that middle paragraph that he’s so full of Shinola that his eyeballs squeak when he blinks. Who in their right mind would think that evolution proposes that the human body was assembled by the planned, conscious action of protists? It’s revealing of a limited mind that he can only myopically imagine evolution as a kind of design by the miniscule, instead of design by nonexistent vapor.

And what is it with creationists and amoebae? The amoeba is a general form found in diverse groups, and it’s yet another indictment of their etiolated imaginations and scant scholarship that they can only think of amoebae when they need to come up with a word for that vast domain of the single-celled.

Dr Jordan seems to be wingnuttily deranged all the way down to his core. Tell me, SCarolinians, that this guy doesn’t stand a chance of getting elected.

“There are only two nations I know of that have been supernaturally blessed: Israel, because God chose them … and the other is the United States,” Jordan said.

Oh, yay. Go us.

I’d really like to hear his opinion on the Civil War, too. Was the Unpleasantness that kept the nation intact a blessing, too? Or was the sanctity the sole position of the Confederacy?


  1. CanuckRob says

    This the state that is the target of the Christian Exodus movement (a bunch of superstitous yahoos want to get control of a state)

    Perhaps this should be encouraged and then the USA should gift the state to Iraq. Wouldn’t the xians love that.

    Serioulsy I would hope that this kind of comment would end the guys chances of getting elected. When a creationist (Stockwell Day) became leader of the Alliance (conservative) Party in Canada and his views became known he was ridiculed and as a result lost the next election big time. He was not unseated but is no longer the leader nor is he particularly influencial anymore. You have to punish stupidity.

  2. quork says

    South Carolina again? It’s their current governor who was running on recently about his knowledge of Origins of Life theory:

    In his Sunday statement, for example, the governor said, “The idea of there being a, you know, a little mud hole and two mosquitoes get together and the next thing you know you have a human being is completely at odds with, you know, one of the laws of thermodynamics.”

  3. says

    Blessed, indeed.
    As I understand it, in the South the phrase “bless [his | her] heart” is an all-purpose salve, to be applied after any statement likely to be interpreted as criticism, for example

    If stupidity were a carnival game, and if the great mallet of Henry Jordan’s Christian faith were driven by the muscles of his mighty ignorance, he would bounce up and down, ringing the gong with his head, until paramecia drove speedboats — bless his heart.

  4. says

    The only reason this kook is running is because the entire electorate is pissed off at both the current governor Sanford and the current lieutenant governor Andre Bauer. Bauer seems to think that the laws of the state simply do not apply to him.

    It’s okay if you’re a Republican, at least until rank-and-file voters find out. Then you might have a little trouble.

  5. DominEditrix says

    To the tune of Don’t Cry for Me Argentina

    Don’t cry for me, you amoebae
    The truth is I always thought you
    Had done the wild thing
    To create monkeys
    And I need votes now
    My peeps are morons…

  6. longstreet says

    While this guy is shockingly ignorant, I’m equally astounded by the results of an indiana state senate republican primary.

    This guy knocked out the president pro tem after 35 years, which is all well and good, but…not only does he want to outlaw abortion without exception, he wants to bring back public flogging as a punishment. He claims it’s okay because no skin would be broken and public shame would cause lawbreakers to change their ways.

    I suspect this guy isn’t an ID supporter. ID is probably too liberal for him.

    Steve “I just love my state” James

  7. frank schmidt says

    “When a doctor goes bad, he is the worst of criminals.” Sherlock Holmes

  8. says

    Reading his comments, I’m reminded of why graduates of my old high school (Lewisville High School in Lewisville, Texas) doesn’t sing the school fight song at class reunions: “Dueling Banjos” has no lyrics. I will say, though, that I expect that his constituency tries its absolute best, bless its heart.

  9. Troy Britain says

    It’s revealing of a limited mind that he can only myopically imagine evolution as a kind of design by the miniscule, instead of design by nonexistent vapor.

    I like Ernst Haeckel’s joking description of the Christian god being a “gaseous vertebrate”.

  10. says

    Huh. I’d like to see him try to live as a single-celled life form. It’s harder than he thinks.

    But then, all the men in South Carolina are going to have to try to figure out how to reproduce by themselves, since all the women are going to LEAVE if they have any brains at all.

  11. says

    Amoeba is, I think, a universal symbol of primitive among the uneducated.

    A few years back, I remember there was a joke about various peoples of the Balkans trying to outdo each other as who is the older nation and who was there earlier. In the end, Serb-amoebas won!

    At least the whole silly argument was set in evolutionary terms, i.e., who is the most direct offspring of the distant uncellular ancestors.

  12. Dustin says

    Seanna Adcox (the author of that article) doesn’t seem to be with the program, either.

    Dr. Henry Jordan says science does not support Darwin’s theory that man evolved from monkeys…


  13. says

    Remind me not to use that man as a doctor. *Ugh!* What’s next – a return to Galen’s model of the human body?

  14. 386sx says

    COLUMBIA, S.C. (May 16, 1997 12:25 p.m. EDT) — A state Board of Education member, talking Tuesday about displaying the Ten Commandments in public schools, had a ready suggestion for groups who might object to it.

    “Screw the Buddhists and kill the Muslims,” Dr. Henry Jordan said during the board’s finance and legislative committee meeting. “And put that in the minutes,” he added.

    Later Jordan says he didn’t mean for his comments to be taken literally, so I guess he can be forgiven for that, but Jordan claims to be “a founder of the state’s Christian Coalition”, so I’m wondering if maybe the Christian Coalition might not be so proud to have as one of its founders somebody who seems to be not quite up to speed on some of the finer points of the philosophy of “brotherly love.” Oh yeah, I forgot, they’re all a bunch of obnoxious bullies. Oops, sorry.

  15. Fredrock Flintstone says

    Huh. I’d like to see him try to live as a single-celled life form. It’s harder than he thinks

    Has anyone done an actual count? Based on the level of his intellect I don’t think we should jump to conclusions.

  16. G. Tingey says

    “I can trace my ancestry back to the most primitive protoplasmic globule” – W.S. Gilbert:The Mikado.

    Seriously, is anyone prepared to put, in writing, that this guy is a liar and a fool, and get him to sue?
    He’s also very dangerous.
    How old is he, and more to the point, how old will he be in 2016 – what post will he get in the government of Gilead?

  17. rupertg says

    This is from his campaign website,

    “CRIME: Everyone knows our criminal justice system has broken down. We all live in dread of violent thugs who must be swept from the midst and confines for longer periods than is now permitted because of prison overcrowding. The root cause of crime is criminals. We must get control of them with longer sentences and fewer paroles. Since there is a direct correlation between illiteracy and crime, no one should be paroled who cannot demonstrate an acceptable ability to read and write; an opportunity to learn should be available to all prisoners.”

    Well, shucks. Anyone who can write “We all live in dread of violent thugs who must be swept from the midst and confines for longer periods than is now permitted because of prison overcrowding.” is in real need of that opportunity to learn. Throw away the key, I say!


  18. Lya Kahlo says

    That’s not just stupid. That’s PAINFULLY stupid.

    And we all have become a little stupid ourselves for reading that. It’s contagious.

  19. Jormungandr says

    “Well, shucks. Anyone who can write…”

    One should not read too much into this, yet MS Word’s spellchecker evaluates Jordan’s paragraph at a Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level of 9.2.

  20. paleotn says

    Since he’s running against Andre “I can’t drive 55” Bauer and the fact that a significant portion of this state has not yet met a loony Repug they didn’t love, yes, he has a chance. However, conventional wisdom says that despite his problems, Bauer will probably prevail easily as the Repug nominee. It is also our good fortune to have an extremely well qualified Demo, Charleston area native Robert Barber, who has a very good chance of beating Bauer or Jordan. Yes, Virginia, there still are good, solid Demos in the south.

    Now then, when it comes to electing kooks, isn’t Minnehaha the only state to elect a former pro “wrassler” as governor? It’s a matter of geography here. Notice Jordan is from Anderson, SC. That’s in our primary “nut” producing region better known as the upstate. I would think it’s safe to say Minnesota also has regions that are renowned for the production of moon bats and assorted nut cases. Am I right?

  21. BlueIndependent says

    Another idiot makes the ‘God blessed us’ claim.

    For all these peoples’ religion and vaunted goodness, you’d think they’d have the decency to include all of the world’s poverty stricken children in their prayers, and in their God’s blessing. It’s really very telling that they don’t.

    I guess Israel was blessed by way of being our friend. I’m sure Israel loves the blessing of having so many neighboring nations feeling not-so-neighborly toward them. I’d certainly consider that a huge blessing…of the part about being the smallest country in the region by far. They do have nukes though, so maybe that’s what the neocons mean by ‘blessed’.

  22. Dark Matter says

    I was going to type up a comment about representatives
    from Scientology and from Iran being allowed to come
    into classrooms to present their arguments, but I
    realized that I have made this kind of response

    He knows better than this. He could not have made it
    through the science he had to take to qualify for
    med school without being exposed to what biologists
    really think about the origins of man. Whether
    he believes it or not.

    Purposefully misrepresenting someone elses’
    argument should be regarded (by any goodly, godly
    persons anyway) as an evil act on the level of
    poisioning somebody’s food so you can give them
    a cure.

    When does parroting the “monkeys becoming men” line stop
    being about ignorance and start being about *malevolence*
    after a person, or a group saying has been told otherwise?

  23. says

    What makes a “pro wrassler” less qualified to govern than anyone else? Because he was large, athletic, and obtained a job in the entertainment industry makes him inelegible for public office?

    While electing Jesse Ventura governor is a joke around the country, a lot of politicians could learn a lot from him. First, when asked a question, he answered it! There was no framing the answer to the audience. So, you knew exactly how he stood on any issue.

    Secondly, he didn’t play political games. He didn’t attempt to bring church and state together. He didn’t play games with taxes calling them “fees.” He didn’t use budget projections as actual funds.

    While, I didn’t agree with some of his politics. He was a decent governor. There have been worse….

  24. Carlie says

    Did anyone see the Daily Show last night? The newly-appointed Tony Snow made an equivalent comment about how much God has blessed America and that the president agrees with the ‘American way of life’ as a blessing from God (in response to a question about asking Americans to limit their oil consumption to drive down demand and therefore prices). Jon Stewart’s response was “If we’re so blessed, then why did he put all the oil we need under countries that hate us?”

  25. BlueIndependent says

    PZ I love ya man, but this TypeKey thing…

    DouglasG you are absolutely right. People loved bagging on Ventura because he was not on the usual radar. I read both his books, and while I do disagree with him on some points, he came across as an affable likable guy. If I were to campaign for office, I could see myself following his mold, although less flamboyantly.

    Carlie, I did see TDS last night, and Stewart was all over that. In fact it was scary to see how, even going back to Ari Fleischer, these cronies don’t feel the need to change anything, ever. “That’s the American way of life” is such a BS excuse that asks nothing of no one, and only encourages further misuse of resources.

    Where’s JFK to unite the country when you need him? Oh wait, I forgot…getting JFK’d is what happens to the real reformers and whistleblowers…

  26. No More Mr. Nice Guy! says

    “There is no science to support trans-species changes, in other words, a monkey becoming a man,” the Republican said in an interview Monday with The Associated Press.

    A monkey becoming a Lieutenant Governor, now that’s a totally different thing…

  27. Jormungandr says

    Just a vote of support for TypeKey. Using FIrefox, I just have to click one link, a button, a bullet and a button, and I am ready to post a comment. Very easy.

  28. Graculus says

    I just have to click one link, a button, a bullet and a button, and I am ready to post a comment. Very easy.

    Except for the fact that it won’t keep you logged in and it regularly pukes.