99% of Portland Moms “Not angry, just disappointed”

Portland’s wall of mothers has gotten a large amount of attention and their motivation to protect their own and others’ children has generated high praise. However, most Portland mothers have not attended any of the demonstrations that have occurred nightly in the city since the death of George Floyd. The reasons for this seeming lack of enthusiasm appear to have a common thread.

“Well, it’s not that I wouldn’t be at the Justice Center,” 51 year old mother Dolores Zambrano said when interviewed Tuesday. “But my kids, they don’t smash the state so much. This year, they didn’t even do anything to fuck up the patriarchy on Mother’s Day.”

Jaqueline Quinn-Cohen added, “Frankly, I don’t even know if my Samuel would be there. He finished his residency, he finally has his own practice. You’d think what with controlling his own schedule he could just send a tweet, ‘Mom, I’ll be at 3rd & Washington around 9:15’. But no.”

Other moms seemed equally disaffected. “I put 28 years into raising my babies right,” said Natalie Brown. “And now here they are. One has good work as a roofer. Another is an assistant manager at Mid-K beauty and she’s only worked there 3 years. Little Ron is in college and would have graduated this spring if not for the Corona. My eldest, well, she’s an accountant, but I don’t judge. I just want them to all be healthy and happy, but with the Trump goons, how do I even know they haven’t been disappeared? You’d think maybe a phone call wouldn’t be too much, if they weren’t too busy with their Fortnite and their Amazon Prime. Wouldn’t even give me a clapback when I told them about the new Black channel on Netflix.”

“There’s so much they could be doing!” added Zambrano. “Go down and play some music, sing with the people. Maybe swat a tear gas canister away from the younger kids or stand between someone hit by a rubber bullet and La Migra until someone else can get them to safety.”

“It’s not so much that I’m mad, you know,” clarified Quinn-Cohen. “I’m not mad. It’s just, after 53 straight days and not a single Instagram from Samuel showing him wading through tear gas to get in the face of these gestapo, a mother can get a little disappointed. Like, would it kill you to pull down one racist statue for your mother?”