Hello, beloved readers. You may have discerned my absence from this space for a little while now, which is not typical for me. Seems that perhaps some sort of explanation is in order.
I’ve been going through some difficult personal shit. Without getting into specifics, processing trauma and abuse—even many years later—is not exactly easy or fun, but it becomes absolutely critical when the unfortunate manifestations blindside you (again), seemingly out of nowhere. Suffice it to say that I have an amazingly supportive partner, a tight circle of friends (i.e. “chosen family”), and a skilled therapist* to guide me. In the meantime however, I am finding it very difficult to focus, concentrate and opine for your infotainment upon the vital and timely topics of fascist doucheweasels, patriarchal shitheads, racist conservatives, treasonous theocrats, native-born white d00ds in local bars suggesting an upside to the day’s news out of DC, terrorist squirrels and other assorted menaces.
Then again, I only have one rule—and one rule only—for posting: whatever I want, whenever I want.** So here, have some of that.
A shoe I want.
A gift I got.
A cake I made.
A car I saw.
A meme I get.
A view I love.
A cat I serve.
A recipe I tried.
(Moroccan semolina almond cookies with orange blossom water…YUM.)
For the time being, readers can probably expect more incoherent, irrelevant and/or random stuff, and even crappier customer service than usual.
Have a nice day.
__________
*For those interested in such things, this therapist’s approach is based in part on the work of Bessel van der Kolk, which is new to me.
**I used to have one other rule for writing: don’t drink and blog. But that one obviously had to go, as it interfered waaaay too much with my drinking. ;D
Glad to see you haven’t been spirited away by ninja squirrels.
Nice to see you.
Glad to see you’re still around, and sorta okay. At least some of it I grok – I still get shit from people about walking away from family decades ago and refusing to have anything to do with them.
You couldn’t actually wear those shoes.
Well, you could wear them but you couldn’t go anywhere that they might get dirty.
You could sit with your feet on a footstool and have someone bring you food and drink.
Glad to have you back.
Props to Bessel van der Kolk. i’ve read his book (The Body Keeps the Score) many times. Very good, very comprehensive, very comprehensible.
I’m also dealing with trauma — emotional neglect, emotional abuse, and a lot of gaslighting, as far back as I can remember. (Well, until I got away from home at 18.) When he talks about “never felt safe with anyone,” that’s me. As I’m sure you know, it doesn’t go away on its own. I’m 63, and am in the middle of treatment. (I was in therapy for 30 year, but it wasn’t until maybe 3 years ago that I considered that it might be trauma; until then, I just thought it was just because I was defective or Doing It Wrong that I was so messed up.) Yeah, it sucks. I frequently walk out of a session feeling like I’ve had the crap beaten out of me.
I am glad to see you around these parts again.
You have a lovely kitty, and a beautiful view of the City I love best in all the world. I shall ply you and yours with beverages and fawning admiration the next time I’m in town.
MIA again?
I hope things are OK.
Okay – those are all lovely images, but now I want cookies. :-(