Amazon.com has new recommendations for me based on items I purchased or told them I own. That last bit is odd though, because I don’t remember telling Amazon about any of my stuff. But let’s see what they’re recommending just for me, shall we?
Yes, that’s right: squirrel-themed tin signs. Jeezus Christ.
The “Welcome to the Nut House” sign with the squirrel image is terrible enough of course, but “Keep Calm and Hug a Squirrel”? HUG A SQUIRREL?! Are you fucking kidding me?
Now I will admit that I may have searched on Amazon once or twice for squirrel traps. Possibly squirrel poison. And I vaguely remember maaaaaaybe looking into squirrel guns that one time. But I am 100% certain that I have never, EVER looked up squirrel-themed tin signs, much less signs that support hugging the fuckers. (?!)
Yes, the only logical explanation for this perfidy that I can think of is that Amazon’s been hacked…by the squirrels.
:o
I just went over to Amazon to see what they think of me.
I rarely go there and I haven’t purchased anything from them in yarons.
The top recommendations were four books by William Lane Craig.
Next was a box of crayons.
Well at least the crayons might be useful.
The little monsters are everywhere. Nothing is sacred. I swear, Husband was out in our backyard this morning yelling “you damn squirrels get off my fence”. The evil creatures have turned him into a cranky old geezer. Rodent mind control.
“BIg Data”
Artificial Stupidity
Let me know if you need to hide out. I have a spare bedroom.
Yeah, now you’Re trying to squirrel your way out of this by blaming it on the algorithm.
To be fair, the algorithm does need modification. Anyone who actually reads William Lane Craig should not have unsupervised access to crayons. That’s just irresponsible, Amazon.