OMG OMG OMG. And no, it’s not squirrel-related. Not this time.

The esteemed Washington Post, paper of record for the dutiful servants of the Krimimal Kapitalist Klass™, has interrupted my day drinking important squirrel monitoring and journalism work to inform me of this breaking news, and I would be shirking my duties as a decent human being if I did not pass this information along to all of my loyal readers without delay.

Are you sitting down? Okay good.

*deep breath*

Trump admits Obama was born in U.S., but falsely blames Clinton for starting rumors

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump on Friday acknowledged for the first time that President Obama was born in the United States, ending his long history of stoking unfounded doubts about the nation’s first African-American president but also seeking to falsely blame Democratic rival Hillary Clinton for starting the rumors.

“Hillary Clinton and her campaign of 2008 started the birther controversy. I finished it. I finished it, you know what I mean,” Trump said at his newly opened luxury hotel in Washington on Friday morning. “President Barack Obama was born in the United States. Period.”

I just…I don’t even know what to say.

If it weren’t for our intrepid media, how on Earth would we ever be made aware of such events in a timely manner?

Obviously this news has all sorts of implications for our lives moving forward. Why else would the editors at the Post take the trouble to email me this alert when I’m obviously at the bar very busy on a Friday afternoon?

I am still processing these events, and probably will be for quite some time. I think it’s understandable that we would be experiencing shock, bewilderment and all sorts of tumultuous emotions, perhaps even questioning the very fabric of reality, as we try to come to grips with all of this. It may be some time before we can feel truly grounded again—if ever.

Please feel free to use this comment thread throughout the coming days and weeks to talk through your feelings, share helpful resources, and come together as a community at this vulnerable time.

Stay strong.



  1. chigau (違う) says

    I usually don’t care for internet psychiatry but I am beginning to doubt Trump’s sanity.

  2. says

    Our intrepid media, who gave Trump a microphone for bullshit, now have realized it’s bullshit and now are trumpeting that Trump has seen the light?

    The media are part of the problem; I hate when they congratulate themselves on finally accessing the truth. After years of soft-balling Trump on his bullshit.

  3. SJ (Science Junkie) says

    Sounds like Trump wants credit for performing a public service by squelching the birther conspiracy.
    Trump is one of the most vile Americans ever – right up there with Joseph McCarthy, George Wallace, Franklin Graham, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, et al. What an irony that his official title may soon be “President Trump.” I shudder to think what that says about “The Greatest Country on Earth,” about Reagan’s “shining city upon a hill.”
    The prospect of a Trump presidency kept me awake for hours last night, pondering my own future and that of my family, friends, fellow citizens and humanity. This might just be the darkest moment in American history – and no, I’m not forgetting the Civil War.

  4. Raucous Indignation says

    I was accosted in the Staff Lounge at Nofunnington General Hospital yesterday by a, ahem, colleague. I just wanted to get to the coffee and doughnut station. Can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself, amirite? And he (yes, a d00d, I know, right?) was babbling on about how Hillary was the one who started the Obama birther thing. I had never heard that before. I remember Trump spewing racist bullshit for years, but I missed the memo of Hillary. That one time eight years ago. And then my, ahem, colleague started going on about conspiracies and the fucking Gulf of Tonkin.

    The. Gulf. Of. Tonkin.

    I briefly engaged him in an attempt to steer him towards rationality, but that was a fucking waste of time. Doughnut and coffee in hand, I returned to my rounds wondering where that shit had come from.

    Thanks for clearing that up.