Do They Never Learn? Elmhurst, Meet Cranston.

We like to tell you “character counts”
In big displays, and small amounts,
With that in mind, I’m proud to announce
The speaker for this year
This speaker stood up for your rights
In one of many legal fights;
She’s one of freedom’s shining lights
Oh, yes—and she’s your peer.

A student, just like one of you
Who saw a task she had to do
And bravely, boldly, saw it through
Despite some daunting odds.
This student knew that what she saw—
That banner—was against the law.
The school board’s thinking had a flaw:
They thought their view was God’s

But Jessica’s an atheist—
A point the people haven’t missed—
And she was right; the laws insist
The town must heed the wall…
The wall the locals seem to hate
That separates the church and state
A bruised and battered wall, of late,
But one that serves us all

When church and state are intertwined
Best hope your faith’s the favored kind;
God help your faithful, should you find
You bet against the king.
But when your faith and his collides,
Or privileged status somehow slides,
Then thank your stars that on your side’s
An Evil Little Thing. [Read more…]

Because I Am An Atheist

My contribution to Crommunist’s wonderful series, “Because I am an atheist”.

Because I am an atheist
The world is mine to fix.
No god prevents the plunderers,
The hypocrites, the dicks.
No god rewards the good we do
Or punishes the bad;
No afterlife awaits us,
Just the single life we’ve had.

Because I am an atheist
It’s up to me to change.
The world is what we make it,
Not some god’s to rearrange—
To recognize a problem, means
To seek solutions, too;
Because I am an atheist
I’m watching out for you.

Because I am an atheist
I cannot simply pray.
I cannot wish a problem gone
And make it go away.
God’s promise of protection
Is just one of many lies;
Because I am an atheist
I cannot close my eyes.

Enough verse. Because I am an atheist, I teach a course aimed at applying the best tools of my science toward making the world a better place. Because I am an atheist, I donate blood instead of praying for sick friends or relatives. Because I am an atheist (and an “out” atheist), I try to live as a counterexample to the “evil atheist” stereotype, and serve as a resource for others who are leaving a faith community and unsure of what might lie ahead.

That’s what I do in meatspace. Online, I write silly verses. Because I am an atheist, they tend to be from a different perspective than, say, Hallmark.

Know Your Audience!

Know your audience! If you choose your audience well, you have no need to be funny, or informative, or rational, or coherent.

Ok, maybe you all already knew that. But I’ve been teaching at Cuttlefish U., and our students are actually pretty smart, so I clearly have not chosen my audience well. And you, dear readers, are even smarter (and probably better looking, and you likely smell pretty good too), so I can’t get away with things like cheap flattery.

Actually… come to think of it, you *are* smart–so could one of you please explain the following to me? From context, I get that it is supposed to be funny. That’s point B. I need somebody to get me there from point A: [Read more…]

Appeals Court: DOMA Unconstitutional (Next Up, SCOTUS?)

Three judges–two Republican appointees and one Democrat appointee–have issued a narrowly defined ruling, saying that the Defense Of Marriage Act unconstitutionally deprives gay men and lesbians of the rights afforded to heterosexuals. It does not address the legality of same sex marriage at a national level, but it is a start.

In celebration, a verse I wrote for New Hampshire, the first day its Civil Union law came into effect. Since that verse, NH has legalized same sex marriage; with any luck, the Supremes will put the cherry on top with federal recognition as well…

[Read more…]