Exit, Stage Right

Rick Perry’s the first to be leaving, conceiving
Of no way to puncture The Donald’s balloon
And who will be next to go under? We wonder
(The smart money says it will likely be soon!)
The polls would call many contenders pretenders
With numbers so low that they don’t stand a chance.
The hopeful respond, “someone’s trolling the polling—
I’m confident, still, I’ll be asked to the dance!”

The voters (well, some) find the choosing amusing;
It’s theatre, played on the world’s grandest stage!
It’s comedy, tragedy, mystery, history,
Farce, at a level defining an age!
I’m told (and I hope) that it’s surely too early
To know who’ll emerge from this fabulous fight
Act Two now begins—which means knowing who’s going
To be the next loser who exits, stage right.

Mano has a nice piece up, noting that nobody wants to be the first to drop out, but that once that stigma has been spoken for, we can expect more people to exit the clown car.

So, who do you think will be next? And how soon?


  1. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    It’s obvious that losing face in this race
    Isn’t something the candidates crave.
    Yet they waddle and toddle and spew forth such twaddle
    One can only assume that each one is a slave
    To grisly philosophies and downright hypocrisies.
    They are stumbling like zombies fresh out of the grave.
    In the months till the polls with sharp claws and wide maws Prove obsolescence can’t inform them on how to behave.

  2. Crudely Wrott, lurching towards recrudescence says

    . . . a bit of formatting faux pas there . . .

    So I’m a cuttlelarva. But my daddy can out siphon your daddy! And while he’s invisible, too!

  3. AlexanderZ says

    It’s just for the cash
    They only want donations
    They’ll soldier on

    But if I must pick
    I’ll say Graham or Jindal
    These two are goners

  4. Al Dente says

    I like Mano’s comment that the betting shop gives better odds to Mitt Romney, who’s not playing in 2016, than to Jindal.

    I agree with Alexander Z @3, it’s likely that Graham or Jindal will be the next to go

  5. Johnny Vector says

    To continue beating my dead hobby horse:

    The trouble with candidates making the rounds,
    Talking on TV and visiting towns,
    Is all the unfair
    Metaphors and compar-
    Isons grossly insulting to actual clowns.

  6. Die Anyway says

    Dystopian future… presidential election by lottery. Tickets available to qualified citizens (35 yo, natural born, etc.) for $10 each, as many as you want. Winning ticket is drawn on election day. Runner-up tickets are drawn for Veep and cabinet posts. Profit from the drawing goes into… Social Security? Medical research? Space exploration? A big party?
    Worse than today’s method? Maybe not.


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